Advice Is Appreciated

I'm not usually okay with spouting family problems on the internet but there's no one else in the family i can talk to and i was just wondering what the aantal keer bekeken of the people on here were.
I have to start at the very beginning otherwise u won't fully understand.
2 years ago, i suffered from PND (Post Natal Depression) and PNP (Post Natal Psychosis). Because of this i asked for help through my doctor and he saw me as a danger to my son, and he was temporarily gegeven to my parents for care through the Social Services (Children's and Young Person's services as they are now called).
My sister who has 2 children, a son who is 2 and a daughter who is 10 months old is going through a rough patch. She recently spleet, split up with her ex due to domestic violence. But now she's in deeper trouble then we originally thought. She has recently been diagnosed with suspected epilepsy, and for months before she refused to go the doctors until we forced her after she accidentally collapsed on her bed while playing with her daughter and woke up 2 hours later with her daughter screaming on the floor(she'd fallen off the bed) and accidentally dropping her 2 jaar old down the stairs after blacking out carrying him down. To give her a break her ex agreed to care for the children for one maand until her new medication kicked in, but now we've discovered he neglected to tell her she was in custody court volgende month, on a datum her ex still has the children. Because her ex will have the children in his possession and care on the court date, the courts will take his side so she's lost her children already unless she can get them back somehow before the court date. What makes it worse is that she isn't taking proper care of her children.
Please see commentaren below for rest of story as my vraag became too long..
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Her little boy is steadily growing increasingly violent and attention seeking as she's forever on the computer of the phone talking to her new Australian boyfriend, and her daughter has the worst nappy (diaper) rash from not being changed well enough and frequently enough. She can't cook so they are living off fast food and they've both began to loose too much weight to not be noticeable. She also has no energy to clean the house and in the words of myself it 'looks like a crack-den'.
BabyBlud posted een jaar geleden
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To make u understand how bad it is, her toilet is blocked with waste and so she has been using the bath as a toilet, her boiler has stopped working so she has no hot water so the children do not get washed, and as she's too lazy to boil the kettle to get hot water to wash her pots and pans, she has stuck them in boxes (still with food residue on them) and put them in the cellar. She is claiming housing benefit (money from the government to pay her rent) as she does not work, problem is she's not been paying it and been spending the money on make-up, new clothes and shoes for herself even though the kids are desperate for new clothes themselves, because she has been claiming this and not paying, it could lead to her being done for fraud and being sent to prison.
BabyBlud posted een jaar geleden
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I don't trust them. I've scoured the internet for places i can go to, but all seem to be connected with social in some way. I was just wondering if the users on here think i should leave well alone and let her get on with it until she realises what she is doing, of if i should quench my fear and call social and see if they can help, even if that means doing what they did to me, temporarily taking the children into the care of someone else while my sister gets herself sorted?
BabyBlud posted een jaar geleden
 BabyBlud posted een jaar geleden
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Advice Antwoorden

Kiniko90 said:
I was just wondering if the users on here think i should leave well alone and let her get on with it until she realises what she is doing, of if i should quench my fear and call social and see if they can help, even if that means doing what they did to me, temporarily taking the children into the care of someone else while my sister gets herself sorted?

I don't feel even the least bit equipped to give u a helpful answer, but here's my two cents.

In my opinion calling social services is a better immediate option because leaving the kids in the care of your sister is proving to be deteriorating in terms of their physical health and will soon prove a problem in terms of their emotional health as well. Negligence cannot be healthy in any way to a child. And leaving well enough alone seems the wrong choice to me because your sister's situation isn't "well" nor is it "enough" to be left alone.

I'm not from the UK, so I don't know how social services work, but it seems like an option for help, and I don't really see u having many options to begin with.

If the kids are taken away, it would give her time to get herself better, deal with her epilepsy. Not to mention u would have time to talk to her about her problems, and somehow get through to her. And her kids being away would give her a motivating factor to get better, if she cares about them that is.

u have a limited number of very difficult options but I think the children and their health should be kept in mind here. Even if u do not choose to call social services, try to have a family intervention of sorts, at least, because the living condition you've described is completely unhygienic to say the least. That added to the lack of healthy food that growing children need, the lack of attention required for a mentally healthy child, coupled with her epilepsy and what I can only describe as your sister's selfishness (not trying to be judgmental here, just going off of what you've written) does not even come remotely close to a healthy environment to raise a child in.

So that's my opinion on your immediate problem. I really do hope everything works out.
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posted een jaar geleden 
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Thank u for your opinion, i will think very carefully whether to get social involved of not. I'll talk to my partner about it and see if he'll back me up on this. I know this may sound horrible and very selfish of me, but i will not put my child in danger just to save hers, i know they're my neice and nephew and i do have an obligation towards them, but my child comes first in everything. That's just the way i see it, u may think differently. However, if calling in help through social won't put my child in danger, then i will. I don't want my sister's children to be taken away from her, i just want my sister to understand what is going on and to learn she can not continue this way. We've already tried sitting her down and explaining things to her, but for some reason she doesn't seem to understand what the problem is. We don't know as yet if that is due to her illness of whether she doesn't actually care, that we need to find out. Thank u for your help :)
BabyBlud posted een jaar geleden
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No, that's perfectly understandable that you'd put your child before hers. If you've already spoken to her, then maybe something drastic like her kids being taken away needs to happen for her to understand what's hanging on the line for her. You're very welcome. Good luck with everything :)
Kiniko90 posted een jaar geleden
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