Help me getting back my ex

About 2 years geleden when I was in 8th grade, my best friend asked me out. We got into a relationship and we were happy. I had a crush on a former classmate since 3rd grade but that wasn't serious. When my boyfriend came to know about this, he got upset. Though I was faithful to him, I just decided to my crush that i had a crush on him. I was just being truthful as he too was an old friend. My boyfriend and me got busy on studies, vrienden and family. When we went to 9th grade, I noticed that we have grown apart too much. I tried to talk to him, but he was always busy with friends. Later he blamed me that I cheated on him. He was moving to his hometown. I felt bad because I was losing him. I apologised many times but he would act as if he doesn't know me. I caught him many times, staring at me. He would smile, when i caught him. But he won't talk. He moved out. I got into many medical problems because of the depression. I tried suiciding and cried almost everyday for him. He visits here twice a year. I can't stop my tears when I see him. I want him back. I want to know how, because I've been through too pain and regret. I accept that I kind of cheated but I can't verplaats on. Please help me