These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually zei in court, word for word, taken down and now published door court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Q: Are u sexually active? A: No, I just lie there.
Q: What is your datum of birth? A: July 15th. Q: What year? A: Every year.
Q: What gear were u in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget....