Wow. Just wow. Thinking back on our “In Defense of Blair Waldorf” post, this episode really didn’t help our case. Looks like Blair was a bit premature in saying she hit rock bottom in 5.19. NOW she has nowhere to go but up–please don’t consider that a challenge, GG Writers. What we saw in the newest episode was Blair at, quite possibly, the craziest point she has ever been. It seems that Claire Carlyle and Blair Waldorf are internally struggling to be the dominant persona, and the result is kind of a hot mess.
On the plus side, it’s good to see that the Waldorf in her is making a comeback, but the Carlyle side still isn’t going down without a fight. Blair has finally realized that she is not herself right now, so complimenten to her for that. The Claire-Waldorf Beast led to her acting hilariously AWFUL and we actually felt a bit bad for Dan in this episode. He is so clueless about what is really going on in her head, but he tries, he really does. She treats him like a blend of a gay BFF, a brother, and a lap-dog. We really feel like Dan has no idea what he has gotten himself into. It’s a good thing they’re going to break up any minuut now.
Of the many ‘off’ things Blair said, this quote gave us the most pause: “I don’t want to live in someone else’s shadow anymore. I did it with Louis and the jaar before with Chuck. I’m sick of being behind-the-scenes in relationships.”
Really, B? WHEN were u in the shadows with Chuck? How about never. The majority of Chuck’s actions revolve around pushing Blair into the spotlight in order to make her happy and fulfilled. Examples of this include: making sure Blair had the perfect prom; paying off paparazzi to take her picture when she was feeling like a nobody at NYU; telling her straight up “You’re special enough on your own” when she was franctically trying to get into Le tafel, tabel Elitaire; always letting her know that he was not Chuck bas, bass without Blair Waldorf; applying for her at Columbia; respecting her decision to let him go so she could feel like a powerful woman before committing to him; telling her “You’re the most powerful woman I know.” And about a hundred other things that we may of may not decide to blog about at a later date.
We also don’t get why the “hotel incident” is being name-dropped like it’s hot lately. We get that it was a huge deal and Blair rightfully should’ve been upset about it. But, not two years after the fact, especially considering Chuck’s apology and Blair’s tireless pursuit of him following that. And then u know–she tried to run away with him and asked him to be the father of her baby–but apparently, that is irrelevant because, right now, Blair needs a scapegoat to explain the black abyss that is her life.
Speaking of problems, GG Writers, can we STOP with the constant fucking with poor Chuck’s parentage? We didn’t believe for a moment that Diana was Chuck’s mother, and we don’t believe that Jack is his father–seriously, the only thing worse than his best friend sleeping with his mother would be the love of his life banging his father–but poor Chuck. What a total mindfuck. It’s not enough to play musical mothers with him, now his paternity is in question. At this point, his life is beyond the Maury Povich Show, and is now edging on Jerry Springer. (We really must give Chuck credit that despite all of this, he manages to remain a class act). Chuck might think that the Mother Switcheroo was all about hiding the identity of his true father, but we think it might have meer to do with hiding the living/dead status of his actual, original father. Yes, Charles BARTHOLOMEW Bass, we think u have been led astray.
The bas, bass family isn’t the only one having problems. Serena is having a pretty shit time of it right now as well. Her lying, fake-cancer-diagnosing, philandering father broke her hart-, hart yet again when he put Lola before her. This toon is ridiculously obsessed with deadbeat dads (Bart gets a free pass because as of this episode, he’s still actually “dead”). Lily and Rufus fought, since Rufus is clueless (like father, like son) about why Lily is so pissed off at Ivy, and Lily, maybe a tad bit cruelly, called Rufus out on being a UES kept man. Uh-oh, Rufly is on the outs, people. Wouldn’t it just be super convenient if Lily’s deceased husband was suddenly resurrected at this time? Meanwhile, Ivy tried unsuccessfully to earn Lily’s forgiveness, and Lily dismissed her with a big fat check. Which Ivy tore up. Seriously, somebody explain to us why/how Ivy is a regular? Never mind, no1curr.
We loved the two seconde Chate scene early in the episode. We shuddered a bit when Nate said, “Your mother called.” However, Chuck made the scene when he said, after the just briefest of pauses, “Well, I’m not sure which one of us this is meer awkward for.” TRUFAX, Chuck. Awkward indeed. Nothing would beat the awkwardness however, of Blair’s off-screen reaction when finds out that she slept with Chuck’s “dad.” Too bad we probably won’t get to see that scene. Let’s just assume it’s JUICY and DELICIOUS.
Nate’s storyline in the episode made our hearts explode rainbows. He’s so not Natefused anymore and it’s beautiful to see the return of his loyalty to Chuck. His seduction of Diana was a) hot b) hilarious and c) awesome. It was so selfless of Nate to sex up someone he enjoys sexxing all in the name of his bromance with Chuck. OK, maybe the act itself wasn’t “selfless” of really inconvenient to Nate in any way, BUT HIS INTENTIONS WERE FLAWLESS. We were also extremely relieved to see Monkey. However, we’re slightly concerned that volgende episode we’re going to find out that Monkey has never been Chuck’s dog and is in fact…his grandmother. Safran would.
Even though this episode had elements that annoyed, we also found it very reassuring that the REAL Blair Waldorf is on the horizon. Realizing that she’s not where she wants to be and reevaluating her priorities is step one to ultimately regaining her crown as Queen B. We don’t think it’s a coincidence that Blair ends 5.21 vowing to find herself and in the very volgende episode, she’s scheming with Chuck. The countdown to the CB reunion begins…NOW!
All credit goes to :cosmiclovecb.com