1. Pilot

Chuck: Serena look effin hot last night. There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be violated.

Chuck: u guys have been dating since kindergarten and u haven't sealed the deal.

Chuck: I'm gonna have to tell my parents the hotel they just bought is serving minors.
Serena: And if u order a drink, they're also serving pigs.
Chuck: I love it when u talk dirty.

Chuck: Let's catch up. Take our clothes off. Stare at each other.

Chuck: I love freshmen. They're so...

2. The Wild brunch

Chuck: Don't mock the scarf, Nathaniel. It's my signature.

Chuck: Better a broken nose than a broken heart.

Chuck: I'm honored to be playing even a small role in your deflowering.

Chuck: Serena, stop trying to pretend you're a good girl. So u slept with your best friend's boyfriend. I kind of admire u for it.

3. Poison Ivy

Chuck: Heard about the field hockey throwdown. All those mouth guards and short skirts. I hope somebody filmed it.

Chuck: Women like to pretend they're complicated. I know better.

Chuck: I am a teef when I want to be.

4. Bad News Blair

Chuck: Let me remind u of the rules. There is no outside rum and the only girls u talk to are the ones I've paid for

Chuck: He looks like Matthew McConaughey between movies.

Chuck: Let's go. u can think about your boyfriend inside.

Chuck: The real world. Everyone out there wants to be us.

6. The Handmaiden's Tale

Chuck: Mysterious financial transactions. Warring parents. Welcome to the Upper East Side.

Chuck: I'd say strip poker. But I don't have any cards.

Chuck: Little Jenny Humphrey gets my pants off and I still don't manage to enjoy it.

Chuck: Well u look ravishing. If I were your man, I wouldn't need clues to find you.

7. Victor Victrola

Chuck: u were amazing up there.

Chuck: u sure?

Club employee: Who's that girl?
Chuck: I have no idea.

Chuck: A burlesque club. A respectable place where people can be transported to another time. Where they can feel free to let loose. No judgment. Pure escape . What happens at Victrola stays at Victrola.

8. Seventeen Candles

Chuck: Yeah I'm sorry about that. But look, if you're done with Blair... be done. Don't cater to your parents wishes if they're not your desires.

Chuck: Look... I care about three things, Nathaniel. Money, the pleasures money brings me, and you.

Chuck: Well, this is the last place I'd expect to find you.
Blair: Go away, Chuck! I've been gegeven orders, practically from God himself, to avoid you.
Chuck: Would u consider avoiding me over breakfast?

Chuck: Nate? Oh, I don't think he'll be singing Happy Birthday this year.

Chuck: If he knew how much I enjoyed the removal of a certain chastity riem in the back of this very limo?

Chuck: Not as clear as the memory of u purring in my ear, which I have been replaying over and over...

Nate: Where's the girl?
Chuck: In my dreams. I was trying to get some shut eye.

Chuck: Sounds Freudian.

Chuck: Are u ready for your present?...
Ow! If u wanted to play rough, all u had to do was ask.

Chuck: Please. u forget who you're talking to.
Blair: So do you. Do you... like me?
Chuck: Define like.

Chuck: How do u think I feel? I haven't slept. I feel sick, like there's something in my stomach. Fluttering.

10. Hi, Society

Chuck: I should ask u the same question. Perfect gentleman? Perfect date? That broken record was a hit last year. Get with the times, he bores you.

Chuck: Like the book says, "She's just not that into you."

Chuck: u looked hot on Prince Theodore's arm, today.
Blair: Is that what I am to you, just an accessory?
Chuck: volgende to him, yes. On me, you'd be so much more.

11. Roman Holiday

Chuck: (voicemail) Leave a message and I might listen to it.

12. School Lies

Chuck: Drop your Archibald habit first.
Blair: u know I already have.
Chuck: Really? A kiss does sort of send the wrong signal. Let's not waste time denying.

Chuck: Really? u want me to tell him how u slept with me and then faked your virginity for him?

Chuck: How about I turn that one-piece to a no-piece?

Chuck: I didn't say forever, just until the sight of u two together doesn't turn my stomach.
Blair: And when will that be?
Chuck: Only time will tell, I'm afraid. So unless u want dear Nathaniel to know how u lost your virginity to me in the back of a moving vehicle, I encourage patience and restraint.

Blair: Isn't there someone else u can torture?
Chuck: Probably, but I choose you.

Chuck: u know, if my dad and your mom come back from South Africa tomorrow engaged we'll be brother and sister. And u know what they say, the family that plays together stays together.

Chuck: What do the Humphreys have to offer? Your dad's cassingle?

Chuck: Poor little Humphrey Dumpty. Look, let me clarify something for you. Regardless of who you're currently sleeping with, u and I come from different worlds. In my world, if I'm suspended of expelled, a wing is donated in the bas, bass name.
Dan: That sounds like quite a world.
Chuck: It's not perfect, I'll admit.

Vanessa: You're sick!
Chuck: You're welcome!

13. A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate

Chuck: What's obvious is that your best friend has kept u in dark.
Serena: What are u talking about?
Chuck: I handle my business. Apparently, Nate doesn't.

Chuck: Please, call me brother.

Serena: I need to talk to you.
Chuck: About getting knocked up? I must say I was a little disappointed u weren't meer careful.

Chuck: Game's not over 'til I say it is.

14. The Blair teef Project

Serena: What is your problem?!?
Chuck: Specify the context.

Chuck: May I remind you, Serena, that u used to have a sense of humor.

Chuck: Then I suggest u get new hand towels.

15. Desperately Seeking Serena

Chuck: Hearing u scream my name is meer than enough.

Chuck: She really needs to tone down on the social niceties. It's embarrassing.
Serena: Eventually the two of u are going to have to work out your issues.
Chuck: Issues? I'm issue free. And based on my exhaustive research, so are you.
Serena: Georgina?
Chuck: According to my very reliable sources, Georgina Sparks is nowhere near our fair isle. She's in Switzerland, dating the Prince of Balfour.
Serena: There's a prince of Balfour? And she's dating him? Oh thank god.
Chuck: Now u can enjoy the gifts she mailed u with peace of mind. And maybe Chuck in the room.

17. Woman On the Verge

Chuck: Your starting to scare even me. What did u do?

Chuck: I'm Chuck Bass

Chuck: Maybe this is Blair's idea of a perverse double-date.

Nate: u know, why do I get the feeling you're actually enjoying this?
Chuck: Call me sentimental.

Serena: Where's Dan?
Chuck: I'm out of luck, he's still here.

18. Much I Do About Nothing

Blair: u were on the floor!
Chuck: I hurt my back.
Blair: How? It's not like u every do anything athletic.
Chuck: Well, that's not entirely true, now is it?
Blair: Fine, nothing that involves removing your scarf.
Chuck: That was one time, it was chilly.

Chuck: u know, they say if u love something, u should set it free.

Blair: Don't worry, I can be a teef enough for both of us.
Chuck: I still got the scars on my back to prove it.

Chuck: I'd like to propose a toast. My father is someone who goes after what he wants. And Lily busje, van der Woodsen was no exception. In typical Bass-man fashion his pursuit was direct and at times not exactly subtle. One thing I learned from my father's courtship of Lily is the importance of perseverance. That in the face of true love u don't just give up, even if the object of your affection is begging u to. One thing I learned from Lily is the importance of forgiveness. She gave my father the gift of a seconde chance and, in kind, I watched him become someone actually worthy of that gift. And one dag I hope I'll be lucky enough to find someone who will do the same for me. To the happy couple!

Chuck: Let's take it slow this time. Do it right.
Blair: Chuck bas, bass is a romantic. Who knew?
Chuck: Now u do. That's all that matters.

Chuck: u don't belong to Nate. Never have, never will.


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Awwww, love Chuck's quotes. My fav is obviously 'I'm Chuck Bass' :]