Lois: I’m impressed, Smallville. Of all the seniors skipping the last dag of school, I didn’t expect to see you. Clark: I’m on lunch break. Lois: Right, right. Because why would u do anything like any other normal teenager in America?
Lois: How cliche, an abandoned warehouse. Clark: u know maybe there’s another way in around the corner. Why don’t u go check? I’ll see if I can find a key for this lock. Lois: [Doubtful] Keys? Well, I highly doubt they’re under the welcome mat, but, uh, u knock yourself out.
Martha: [To Clark] So, this is your little secret. You’re taking her to the Prom, aren’t you? Clark: [He snorts] Lois? Lois: Mrs. Kent, a lot of things are possible in this world, but there will be a man on Mars before Clark and I go to Prom together. Martha: So what, u two just get together and mack, but keep it on the down-low in public? Clark: [Embarrassed] Mom! Lois: I don’t mean to be rude, Mrs. Kent, but, uh, did u crack open the cooking sherry? Martha: Of course not! I’m just super-pumped about Prom.
Clark: Lois, what’s going on? Lois: What do u mean? Clark: u made us breakfast, you’re offering to do chores. u want something. Lois: No. It’s called being nice. Clark: Yeah, well, if u were any nicer, we’d starve.
Lois: Um… meet my sister Lucy. She was kind of hoping she could crash here for a couple days. Lucy: I know it’s last minute, but I had this school break, and I’m willing to sleep in the barn. Clark: No, that’s okay. Lois can sleep in the barn.
Lois: Actually, I kind of… hit him. Clark: u hit him? With your car? Lois: [Sarcastic] No, with my fist.
Chloe: She’s bringing home pagina strays now, huh? [Chloe gets back to her feet] How is the new tenant? Clark: Lois? Well, she, uh, re-recorded our answering machine, uses all the hot water, oh, and she took over my bedroom. She’s doing great.
Clark: Just playing with Skippy here. Lois: We’re not gonna call him Skippy. Clark: Okay, Lois, what would u like to call him?
Clark: u were drinking, right? Lois: Those days are over. No meer alcohol. And that includes cough syrup and rum cakes.
Clark: Lois, what are u doing here? Lois: I could ask u the same question, but it seems fairly obvious, hef.
Clark: [To Geoff] I’m sorry. She’s under a lot of stress lately. Lois: No. Stress is when you’re stuck in traffic of u have a midterm for a class you’ve never been to. I’m out on bail and looking to be locked up for manslaughter.
Clark: Hey, Lois. What are u doing here? Why aren’t u at school? Lois: We’re having a surprise party for Chloe’s 18th birthday in your barn, remember? Clark: No. I remember telling u u couldn’t have it here. Lois: [Handing the box to Clark] Too late now. Everyone’s already been invited, and u really don’t want it getting back to Chloe that u rained on her shindig. That would hurt her feelings. Clark: [Incredulous] What? Lois: Then I’d have to hurt you.
Clark: That wouldn’t be the reason. Thanks, I don’t really consider myself a geek. Lois: So… what do u see yourself as? Clark: I don’t know. An outsider, I guess. Lois: [She laughs.] That’s a recipe for wedgies if I’ve ever heard one.
Sam: Not to worry, though. I’m sure that Clark will be happy to toon u around. Clark & Lois: [Worried.] Around where? Sam: Bright and early tomorrow morning. [He turns back to them.] u start Smallville High.
Lois: Okay, Commando, I don’t get you. Half the time, you’re all meek “Yes, Ma” and “Yes, Pa”, and the other half, u are the most overconfident guy I’ve ever met. Clark: It doesn’t happen to u much, does it? Not being able to peg someone right away? Lois: Oh, get over yourself. u are not that complicated.
Lois: Nothing like a little North door Northwest action to get the blood pumping, huh? Clark: [Embarrassed.] Um… we usually take turns in the bathroom. Lois: Oh, don’t start with me, Smallville. You’re the one taking the marathon...