My farewell to Conan (a la 1948 stage drama):
[Curtain opens. Squeaky, front door of ranch house opens]
Me [in kitchen, preparing sophisticated drinks]:
Conan? Is that you? Conan? Come on in, old pal! I've been waitin' for ya'! I made us pork chop and beans, ya' son of a gun. Come here.
[quiet *thump* sound on the ground near the front door]
Annie's been waitin' 17 years for u to come into our home, and here u are! Put down your jas n' hat, ya' hootin' tomcat; kick off your shoes and settle in. Annie got the guest room ready; u can stay there as long as u need to get on your feet. Boy oh boy, it's good to finally see u as a man.
Conan, come in here already.! Conan, geez, don't be a stranger. Conan?
[I walk to the foyer and stop.]
Conan?! Why do u have a mes in your back!! Why is there blood all over the floor!! Why are u lying there, face down!!
[I rush to Conan, turn him over and rest his head in my right hand and slaan, smack his face back and forth with the left.]
Conan? Snap out of it buddy. u look like you've seen a poltergeist! But then again, u always do. Conan? Now is not the time to sleep!! We have to clean up this blood. Conan? It's your blood. Conan!! Somebody call the doctor!!! Somebody!! Call! The doctor!!
Don't die on me now, Conan! u bastard!! Things were just starting to get good!! Conan!! u can't do this to me!! Those fiends will pay!! Those fiends will pay!!
Oh! Conan!!
Conan! Conan! Conan!
Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan! [ad infinitum]
[Curtain closes]
[Curtain opens. Squeaky, front door of ranch house opens]
Me [in kitchen, preparing sophisticated drinks]:
Conan? Is that you? Conan? Come on in, old pal! I've been waitin' for ya'! I made us pork chop and beans, ya' son of a gun. Come here.
[quiet *thump* sound on the ground near the front door]
Annie's been waitin' 17 years for u to come into our home, and here u are! Put down your jas n' hat, ya' hootin' tomcat; kick off your shoes and settle in. Annie got the guest room ready; u can stay there as long as u need to get on your feet. Boy oh boy, it's good to finally see u as a man.
Conan, come in here already.! Conan, geez, don't be a stranger. Conan?
[I walk to the foyer and stop.]
Conan?! Why do u have a mes in your back!! Why is there blood all over the floor!! Why are u lying there, face down!!
[I rush to Conan, turn him over and rest his head in my right hand and slaan, smack his face back and forth with the left.]
Conan? Snap out of it buddy. u look like you've seen a poltergeist! But then again, u always do. Conan? Now is not the time to sleep!! We have to clean up this blood. Conan? It's your blood. Conan!! Somebody call the doctor!!! Somebody!! Call! The doctor!!
Don't die on me now, Conan! u bastard!! Things were just starting to get good!! Conan!! u can't do this to me!! Those fiends will pay!! Those fiends will pay!!
Oh! Conan!!
Conan! Conan! Conan!
Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan!Conan! [ad infinitum]
[Curtain closes]