Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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posted by JacobbBlackk
I am totally ignoring Breaking Dawn in this because Stephenie Meyer broke all the rules in there. [Vampires cant have children, they have no body fluids, etc etc]
Reasons i think Jacob is better for Bella than Edward is:
1. Edward/Bellas relationship is based on appearance. She is constantly talking about how good he looks, how velvety his voice is, how graceful he is, etc. She zei Jacob was beautiful once of twice and called his new muscles impressive once of that she is jealous of his tan skin. She thinks Edward is too good for her because she looks plain volgende to him. She thinks Jacob is too good of a person for her.
"[About Edward] the contrast between us was painful. He looked like a god. I looked average, even for a human."-Page 65 New Moon
"[About becoming a vampire] I hoped I would be as strong, fast and most of all beatiful, someone who could stand volgende to Edward and feel like she belonged there." -Page 344 Eclipse
"Id never done anything good enough to deserve a friend like Jacob" Page 60 Breaking Dawn
"[About Jacob] I wondered if he was just to proud of his new muscles that he couldnt stand to cover them up. I had to admit, they were impressive-but id never thought of him as vain."-Page 215 Eclipse
2.Edward is controlling.
-Taking apart her truck to "protect" her. She is in meer danger around him and his family than she is in La Push.
-Has Alice keep her hostage while he is gone so she cant see Jacob.
-Not letting her see her friends.
-Deciding everything for her(what college she goes to, what car she drives, where and when she goes places, etc)
-Manipulating her. He is constantly kissing her to distract her from arguments.
-Lying to her. He kept Alice's vision a secret.
-An example of him being controlling:
"'Get in Bella'
I didnt answer, I was mentally calculating my chances of reaching the truck before he could catch me.....
'I'll just drag u back' he threatened,guessing my plan" -Page 104 Twilight
3. They only met and dated because he liked her blood andwas interested in why he couldnt read her mind and she only dated him because he was good looking and mysterious. If he wouldve been able to read her mind, he wouldve blown her off like he did to Jessica.
4. Shes happy with Jacob. She is always laughing and having a good time. She can finally be a normal teenager. With Edward, she has to act grown up all the time and watch what she says so she doesn't upset him.
"As we walked, I felt myself settling into another version of myself, the self I had been with Jacob. a little younger, a little less responsible" -Page 101 Eclipse
5.If vampires never existed, Jacob and Bella wouldve been together.
6.She almost chose Jake at the end of New Moon before Edward acted like a pyscho and went to Italy.
"[About giving Jake a chance]Maybe it wouldnt feel like betrayal. Besides, who was i betraying anyway? Just myself" Pahge 411 New Moon
"It wouldnt be easy. In fact, it would be downright miserable to give up my hallucinations and try to be grown up. But maybe i should do it. Maybe i could if I had Jacob" Page 372 New Moon
7.If it werent for Jacob and the pack, Victoria wouldve killed Bella in New Moon when Edward left. Edward is always putting her in danger.
8.When Edward is away, Bella sees sense.
"[About cliff diving/dying] What if something happened to me? What would that do to Charlie? -Page 371 New Moon
But when Eward is with her, Bella forgets everyone and doesnt think of the consequences of any of her actions. She worries about what would happened to her father if something happened to her if she died. But, isnt it the same thing if she were to become a vampire? She would have to give him up.
"[About becoming a vampire] As long as I could have Edward, what else mattered?"
9. Their relationhip is extremely unhealthy. They are obsessed with eachother. Edward even calls Bella his own "personal brand of heroin".
10. Bella loves warm, sunny places like phoenix. If she were to be a vampire, she can never live in places like that ever again.
11. Edward selfishly takes eveything away from Bella if he were to turn her. Her family, the abiltity to have kids, to grow old. Bella is too young to make that decision. She might get like Rosalie who is depressed because she can never hae kids of grow old. If he realy truly loved her, he would leave and let her have a normal happy life.
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*I'm sorry if I offended anyone on this spot, I just did this to be funny, not mean..same with my Twilight fangirl article*

1) If u know a girl who despises Twilight and is crazy about hating it, send them a box with a poster of Edward with the words "My Dream Guy" on the poster
2) Tell a Twilight hater that Ron Weasley is Emmett's b***h
3) Tell them that REAL men sparkle
4) When a group of Twilight haters are surrounding you, stand in the middle of the group and shout out "I'M A CULLEN, EVERYONE!" then sing "I am a vampire" door Antsy Pantsy
link
5) Write a letter to President Obama convincing him...
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Yeah, I know all the uber-fans are saying "Well, why didn't u see it sooner?" and all the antis are saying "The world DOESN'T need Twilight!"But I ask that u listen to what I have to say, anyway.

As strange as it seems, the world actually needs Twilight. It does some good things for us. I am mostly an anti, so it took all my prainpower to come up with these reasons, but here they are, and the meer I think on it, the meer I realize they're true.

---

10. It teaches us new words.
I know alot of u are rolling your eyes. Yes, I know what has been zei about the "Thesaurus Rape" problem, but...
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 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. (Romans 12:18~ New Testament of the Bible)
If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. (Romans 12:18~ New Testament of the Bible)
I felt like writing this artikel after reading a fellow ex-CAT member's artikel on Twilight haters. I also had a 'talk' with another ex-CAT member.

"4) Twi-haters, this isn’t a hater of anti spot. Don’t abuse it. Do not make personal attacks against Stephenie Meyer of her fans, and don’t throw nasty of immature insults at Twilight. This is supposed to be “Critical Analysis of Twilight”, not “Mindless Bashing of Twilight”."
~Dearheart link

"And Twi-haters – it’s okay to poke Twilight and be deliciously witty and sarcastic...but don’t get nasty. There is a fine line between...
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posted by Saritaswims
Well i read twilight saga and i got confused I was thinking of either smashing my head with the book of the uithangbord i mean come on who the f*** makes vampires sparkle! i mean unless u want to give the image that there gay but there daring the oppisite sex.

Moving on anyway i have to compare Harry Potter Series vs. Twilight Saga Harry potter wins major. becuase twilight is just SO predictiable i mean common harry potter makes u want to stay at the end of your chair becuase its awesome


any way twilight is an OK book and the twilight movie i have to say it suks. the boeken are alright im just hoping that MIdnight sun is a million times better and also i know your gonna ask what team are u on im just gonna say I really dont care its not real so why even bother but if i was a Twihard i would choose Team Buffy becuase i want those cullens except ALICE<CARSILE<AND ESME to be killed for good i mean where ta hell id buffy when u nees her

i hope u see my point PEACE
In my opinion Bella cannot do anything but whinge I have got here a direct quote from SM's Eclipse,
"Whenever I talked about jacob, His tawny eyes seemed to get a little bit darker my voice turned pleading in response."
Translation: Pleading = whiny
When Edward Leaves in new moon she goes into a "deep depression" I.e is so hung up on Edward that when he leaves she practically goes insane, and yet she still does not place the blame firmly where it belongs at Jasper Hales gaddamned door and he was all like hallo are we cool? I would have been like No way get away from me u freak u tried to kill...
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OK, I know u guys are thinking: "What?! How dare you! Bella and Edward's love is the best and most romantic love of all times!111Elevntyone!!!1" And then, you're going to say I'm just some guy who hasn't read the books. I'm not. I'm a teenage girl, and I have read all the books. Even Bree Tanner and that bit of Midnight Sun on Meyer's website.

I'll just discuss the reasons why it's not true love.

Physical Attraction
...And meer of it.
Picture this. Our great female lead is in an average high-school cafetaria, surrounded door average, high school kids. It's noisy and loud, and she wishes she was...
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The Harry Potter vs Twilight war is a huge phenomenon in the literary world. We have artikels floating around in the Internet (even in CAT) where both camps vehemently defend their fandoms. I am a huge Harry Potter fan, but today, I am not going to take sides. How it started, and how it evolved in a full-scale clash between fans of both series is something I would cover in this article.

It started off with a few websites claiming Twilight is the new Harry Potter. Harry Potter fans, of course, would not take it sitting down, and they wrote artikels with reasons why Harry Potter is better than...
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posted by renrae
We have a discussion on the forums here about noteworthy things in twilight. I picked Angela, and now I realize that Jessica is noteworthy, too.


We'll start with Jessica!Hate. Besides Lauren, Jessica is probably the most hated human friend that Bella has. Reasons Twilighters give for this are 'Jessica is a brat', 'she ignores her in book two', 'she's too hyper', and 'i just don't like her'. Some of those are just ridiculous. 'Jessica is a brat'. How? How is Jessica a brat? Answer: She isn't. 'she ignores bella in book two' I'll elaborate on this one later, because it's pretty big. 'shes...
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1. In Twilight, the "romance" as they call it is just there from the beginning. In Percy Jackson and the Olympians (We'll call it PJO), the Percy-Annabeth relationship was apparent from the start, but built up until the kiss in Battle of The Labryrinth and eventually their relationship began in The Last Olympian.
2. In Battle Of The Labryrinth, Percy ran into Greek mythology's equivilent to vampires: the empousai. These were ugly creatures who had flaming hair, one goat leg, one metal leg, fangs, were deadly poisonous, and usually disguised themselves as mean cheerleaders. In Twilight, the...
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