OK, I know my vorige fanfictions pretty much suck, so... Give me some feedback, please. I think that this site is dead. :( Also, I have a new-ish OC. Let me know if I get any facts off.
《Audrey's P.O.V.》
I walked through Central, heading to the Command Center. I pulled my black and white jas kap tighter over my head. I held out my trademark pocketwatch to toon the guards I was a State Alchemist. I went into Roy's office. A golden-haired boy sat on the couch. He turned to look at me as I walked in. I said, "Hello, Colonel Mustang. What do u have for me? And who is the boy?"
《Ed's P.O.V.》
I turned as a person walked in. She looked no older than me. She had a black kap pulled over her head, a white stripe going down it. She also wore black jeans and brown boots. Her hands were covered with light gray gloves. Her hair was brown from what I could tell, and a dyed ponytail cascaded over her shoulder. Her eyes were two different colors, the right being deep blue and the left one red.. She said, "Hello, Colonel Mustang. What do u have for me? And who is the boy?" I stood up. "I'm Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist." She zei in the same quiet voice, "I am Audrey Himura, Nightmare Alchemist. Anyways," she turned back to Roy. "What's the case?"
《Audrey's P.O.V.》
Roy sighed. "There's a grave-robber in another town. Find out who it is, the motive, and bring him back." I nodded. "Alright. What is the name of the town?" "Uh, Aslya of something." "Aslyxia, u pyromaniac." (A/N: Aslyxia is made up door me for the story.)
~Five minuten Later~
I walked out with this Edward Elric guy. I asked, "How old are you?" He blinked and answered with a confused expression. "15..." I nod. "I am 13. Don't think because u are older and male, u can boss me around." "I wasn't planning to." I begin walking. "Let's go to the train station. I want to leave as soon as possible." He followed me.
~Train~
I sit down, zipping my coat. Ed looks out the window. I pull a book out and start reading. I shiver, which Ed notices. "Are u cold?" I look at him. "No. I'm fine." I pull my legs onto the zitplaats, stoel as I lean against the uithangbord of the train. I turn the page, whispering as I read.
《Ed's P.O.V.》
This girl seemed weird. She hadn't taken her kap off and it wasn't cold at all. I wonder why she shivered then... I sigh and look out the window at the scenery as the train rushes along. Audrey is engrossed in the book so I don't bother her.
《Audrey's P.O.V.》
I closed the book and put it back in my bag. "Ah... I need to call Nori-sensei..." I schommel, swing my legs off the zitplaats, stoel and sit normally. "I hope u are a good partner, Edward. I can discard u from my life as simply a person throws away a piece of trash." He looks angered door this. He shoots back, "What do u have against me? We just met, what did I do wrong?" I scowl. "It is not merely you, Edward. It's everyone."
《Audrey's P.O.V.》
I walked through Central, heading to the Command Center. I pulled my black and white jas kap tighter over my head. I held out my trademark pocketwatch to toon the guards I was a State Alchemist. I went into Roy's office. A golden-haired boy sat on the couch. He turned to look at me as I walked in. I said, "Hello, Colonel Mustang. What do u have for me? And who is the boy?"
《Ed's P.O.V.》
I turned as a person walked in. She looked no older than me. She had a black kap pulled over her head, a white stripe going down it. She also wore black jeans and brown boots. Her hands were covered with light gray gloves. Her hair was brown from what I could tell, and a dyed ponytail cascaded over her shoulder. Her eyes were two different colors, the right being deep blue and the left one red.. She said, "Hello, Colonel Mustang. What do u have for me? And who is the boy?" I stood up. "I'm Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist." She zei in the same quiet voice, "I am Audrey Himura, Nightmare Alchemist. Anyways," she turned back to Roy. "What's the case?"
《Audrey's P.O.V.》
Roy sighed. "There's a grave-robber in another town. Find out who it is, the motive, and bring him back." I nodded. "Alright. What is the name of the town?" "Uh, Aslya of something." "Aslyxia, u pyromaniac." (A/N: Aslyxia is made up door me for the story.)
~Five minuten Later~
I walked out with this Edward Elric guy. I asked, "How old are you?" He blinked and answered with a confused expression. "15..." I nod. "I am 13. Don't think because u are older and male, u can boss me around." "I wasn't planning to." I begin walking. "Let's go to the train station. I want to leave as soon as possible." He followed me.
~Train~
I sit down, zipping my coat. Ed looks out the window. I pull a book out and start reading. I shiver, which Ed notices. "Are u cold?" I look at him. "No. I'm fine." I pull my legs onto the zitplaats, stoel as I lean against the uithangbord of the train. I turn the page, whispering as I read.
《Ed's P.O.V.》
This girl seemed weird. She hadn't taken her kap off and it wasn't cold at all. I wonder why she shivered then... I sigh and look out the window at the scenery as the train rushes along. Audrey is engrossed in the book so I don't bother her.
《Audrey's P.O.V.》
I closed the book and put it back in my bag. "Ah... I need to call Nori-sensei..." I schommel, swing my legs off the zitplaats, stoel and sit normally. "I hope u are a good partner, Edward. I can discard u from my life as simply a person throws away a piece of trash." He looks angered door this. He shoots back, "What do u have against me? We just met, what did I do wrong?" I scowl. "It is not merely you, Edward. It's everyone."