Chapter 10: Bad Karma
{Randy's POV}
u know that feeling when your awake but your not? As in your eyes are still closed and your breathing is still labored but u know what's going on around you? That's what I'm doing right now. I can tell mom is sitting beside the bed holding my hand cause her nails are resting on my skin I can hear the rustle of clothing and I think dad must be pacing beside me. With all the energy I can find I focus it on prying my eyelids open.
"Hi Honey." Mom smiles down at me and I blink slowly.
"Hey Pal." Dad materializes on the opposite side.
"Hi." I squeak out. Man my throat is killing me.
"Don't try and talk honey, the doctor zei your throat is gonna hurt for a few days." I nod and Mom smiles at me. "I'm gonna call your brothers, I'll be back in a few minutes." Dad plops down in the chair.
"Its been a long time since I saw a hospital room from this point of view." I can't help but smile a little at that.
"I could say the same." I groan. Glancing around its like your average everyday hospital room. The IV bag is hanging off one side, but I notice another wire and follow it up to the monitor and look at dad quizzically.
"It monitors your heartbeat of something. That thing on your finger makes sure your still breathing." I look down at the finger clamp. Of course I'm breathing I could take this thing off. Of course common knowledge wins out and I know if I take it off it'll send doctors and nurses into the room. Lets avoid that.
"When can I go home?" I rasp out.
"Not sure, that depends on what the doctor says." I nod a little and turn my head away. I know my brothers are angry. They both wanted to be here. I don't know why, this place is horrible. I'm starting to hate hospitals, not the kind of hate like the displeasure able, but the type of hate that dwells deep within you. Like in your bone marrow of something. I'm getting sleepy again and I think they must have me pretty drugged up. I glance over at dad again, who gives me a look that clearly tells me to go to sleep, so I obey.
*****
Its been nearly two days and I finally get to come home. Finally reaching the entrance I climb out of the wheelchair they insist u leave out of, and see the family waiting for me. Mom jumps up and makes as if she's going to try and help me to the car.
"I got it." I say with a brief smile and she backs off a little.
"Hey Bro." Brad says with a grin as he yanks open the backseat door. "You may have told us not to wait for u in the hospital."
"But ya never zei we couldn't come to pick u up!" Mark finishes from where he sits in the car. I smirk a bit at them and slowly climb into the car. I'm in the middle, and I must admit I'm feeling boxed in. I understand my family wants to help me, and I really do love them for it, but I just want to have some room to be on my own. I'm so tired of having people check up on me every few minutes, that my family's glances of concern are getting to be an annoyance. It suddenly dawns on me how horrible a thing that is to think. About my family who loves me and wants to help me no less! I draw in a shaky breath and try and calm my jittery thoughts in the whirlwind that's going around in my mind. This is my family and they're worried. I shouldn't be so calloused, I mean its my fault they're so freaked out to begin with. My doctor keeps saying that this isn't my fault, that cancer isn't some type of karmatic punishment, but u know what? I don't believe her. I think this is my punishment. For what, I haven't exactly come to grips with yet, but I will. And until then, I'll sit and let mom fuss, and let dad tell me everything is going to be fine, and let Brad and Mark fight and bicker and watch me like I might die if they look away. What else can I do? Its all my fault anyhow. Dad's voice breaks through my internal monologue
"Home sweet home."
"How's it feel to be home pagina sweetie?" Mom asks twisting around in her zitplaats, stoel to look at me, I plaster on a fake smile.
"Great." I reply with fake enthusiasm. I am glad to be home, really I am, but it'll be like the hospital. They'll watch me. I guess I deserve it. Bad Karma u know.
End of Ch10
{Randy's POV}
u know that feeling when your awake but your not? As in your eyes are still closed and your breathing is still labored but u know what's going on around you? That's what I'm doing right now. I can tell mom is sitting beside the bed holding my hand cause her nails are resting on my skin I can hear the rustle of clothing and I think dad must be pacing beside me. With all the energy I can find I focus it on prying my eyelids open.
"Hi Honey." Mom smiles down at me and I blink slowly.
"Hey Pal." Dad materializes on the opposite side.
"Hi." I squeak out. Man my throat is killing me.
"Don't try and talk honey, the doctor zei your throat is gonna hurt for a few days." I nod and Mom smiles at me. "I'm gonna call your brothers, I'll be back in a few minutes." Dad plops down in the chair.
"Its been a long time since I saw a hospital room from this point of view." I can't help but smile a little at that.
"I could say the same." I groan. Glancing around its like your average everyday hospital room. The IV bag is hanging off one side, but I notice another wire and follow it up to the monitor and look at dad quizzically.
"It monitors your heartbeat of something. That thing on your finger makes sure your still breathing." I look down at the finger clamp. Of course I'm breathing I could take this thing off. Of course common knowledge wins out and I know if I take it off it'll send doctors and nurses into the room. Lets avoid that.
"When can I go home?" I rasp out.
"Not sure, that depends on what the doctor says." I nod a little and turn my head away. I know my brothers are angry. They both wanted to be here. I don't know why, this place is horrible. I'm starting to hate hospitals, not the kind of hate like the displeasure able, but the type of hate that dwells deep within you. Like in your bone marrow of something. I'm getting sleepy again and I think they must have me pretty drugged up. I glance over at dad again, who gives me a look that clearly tells me to go to sleep, so I obey.
*****
Its been nearly two days and I finally get to come home. Finally reaching the entrance I climb out of the wheelchair they insist u leave out of, and see the family waiting for me. Mom jumps up and makes as if she's going to try and help me to the car.
"I got it." I say with a brief smile and she backs off a little.
"Hey Bro." Brad says with a grin as he yanks open the backseat door. "You may have told us not to wait for u in the hospital."
"But ya never zei we couldn't come to pick u up!" Mark finishes from where he sits in the car. I smirk a bit at them and slowly climb into the car. I'm in the middle, and I must admit I'm feeling boxed in. I understand my family wants to help me, and I really do love them for it, but I just want to have some room to be on my own. I'm so tired of having people check up on me every few minutes, that my family's glances of concern are getting to be an annoyance. It suddenly dawns on me how horrible a thing that is to think. About my family who loves me and wants to help me no less! I draw in a shaky breath and try and calm my jittery thoughts in the whirlwind that's going around in my mind. This is my family and they're worried. I shouldn't be so calloused, I mean its my fault they're so freaked out to begin with. My doctor keeps saying that this isn't my fault, that cancer isn't some type of karmatic punishment, but u know what? I don't believe her. I think this is my punishment. For what, I haven't exactly come to grips with yet, but I will. And until then, I'll sit and let mom fuss, and let dad tell me everything is going to be fine, and let Brad and Mark fight and bicker and watch me like I might die if they look away. What else can I do? Its all my fault anyhow. Dad's voice breaks through my internal monologue
"Home sweet home."
"How's it feel to be home pagina sweetie?" Mom asks twisting around in her zitplaats, stoel to look at me, I plaster on a fake smile.
"Great." I reply with fake enthusiasm. I am glad to be home, really I am, but it'll be like the hospital. They'll watch me. I guess I deserve it. Bad Karma u know.
End of Ch10
