He sat there with her letter in his hand thinking over every moment they had spent together. The night she came to him and confessed her love still etched in his mind. The tenderness with which she cleaned his wounds and the passion that filled many of the volgende hours of that dag was over.

THe relationship was over, "but not in his heart.” He had told her that he believed in shooting something in the head to put it to rest. She had broken it off so abruptly but in reality it was twenty-five years of love, tolerance and faith. Maybe old wounds really had not healed and maybe she really did remember all the things he had done. They both had approached the relationship waiting on something to go wrong. Still, "how did it get to this place?"

He had made mistakes but nothing he could really believe that would have brought her to the conclusion to end this and nothing could ever have predicted he would spiral so far out of control.
There was a knock at the door, and as he sat there trying to make sense out of this still he was beginning to know that this was always going to hurt. He folded the letter and put it down in the chair.

House, “Open the door”; I want to talk to you.
It was Wilson and as he limped to the door he opened it and they both stood there for a moment. Wilson saw the tears and redness that filled his old friend’s eyes.

House turned and as Wilson followed House began to speak. I am sorry about your wrist. I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt. I saw her with her hand on another man’s shoulder and everything went black. She wanted to verplaats on and all I wanted was another chance. I………………… and he just broke down.

House, “Come back to work.” We will just go from here. We are not vrienden bu tyou are a good doctor and we need u at the hospital. u will have to drug tests weekly and maybe we can get u some counseling.

I have thought about it House, and we were pushing u and trying to make u accept something u just weren’t ready to accept. I just didn’t want u to destroy yourself but u were not ready to deal with things and we tried to force you. From now on your life is yours to live, to destroy, of to make it work.

“Wilson u asked me one time if she was a vicodin substitute.” I put Cuddy in many roles. She was my mother, my employer, my addiction. What she wanted was to be my partner.

I take it the letter she wrote provoked a lot of thought. Why don’t u write her a letter House? I don’t know if it will help but maybe it will get all your feelings out on the table.

“She doesn’t want to hear anything I have to say Wilson and I don’t blame her.”

Maybe she doesn't. Maybe the letter is just for u to express how u are feeling. Maybe u will find a piece of yourself to salvage.

“House what would u say to her if she was standing in front of you?“ "Write." Put it down on paper and maybe she will contact me and I can get it to her.

“And House,” tomorrow come back to work and let’s do some x-rays on that leg and make sure there is no infection and that it is healing and get u back with your team. We will meet with the board and see if we can get u back to work.

Wilson, "you know no one will want to manage me."
House, “I am the temporary in Cuddy’s place.” We will work it out. Meanwhile, write the letter.

When Wilson left House sat back down with the letter in hand Cuddy had written. He picked his own pen up and decided to try and put some feelings on paper.


Cuddy,

As I sit here and I start this letter I wonder if I ever will see u again. I didn’t see the break-up coming but at the same time I think I always thought u would leave me. I didn’t see what was happening to me, to you, to us. I craved you. All I thought of was the volgende time that I would hold you, touch you, feel your lips. I didn’t realize that I was treating u as an addiction instead of the woman I loved.
I would have done anything for u to keep you. I would have lied; I would have gegeven up my career; vicodin, etc.

At that moment he put the pen down and the light bulb went off. He had substituted her as a vicodin addiction. He had approached his relationship with her just as he had his relationship with his vicodin. He would have done anything to get her; anything to keep her; anything to have that volgende high with her. He had always counted on her to give him borders in his life. He had put her in the role of his parent instead of his partner.

He would do anything but open himself up. Anything but letting her see who he was inside. He knew how to make love to her but he didn't know how to "love" her.
"Why was he so afraid to let someone see who really was?" Why was that meer than he could give? He had always chose to hide behind logic, drugs, sarcasm, and alcohol.

"As he picked the pen back up he tried his best to finish this and let her go."

Lisa, I have been fueled my entire life door approaching everything in a logical manner, making an assessment, searching for the cause and effect and finding a solution, "all the while keeping myself at arms length distance." Always careful not to let my hart-, hart get too involved of never get too close.
u were not a puzzle for me to figure out; u were not a pill for me to take and get high but there were times I treated u that way. I think u felt like u were an addiction, a parent, and a rule enforcer and not my partner.
Lisa I am so sorry that I used this relationship the way I did; and for what I did that dag I regret so much.
I am sorry for all the times u needed a shoulder and I wasn’t there. I wanted to be. I still don’t know how to let u go and I guess u already knew that and that is why u left.
There are no words to tell u how much I miss u and Rachel and how much I love u both. I can’t say goodbye. Every memory of love of even a good feeling I have includes you. How do I say goodbye?
I have spent months trying to answer that vraag and I have as of yet to come to a conclusion.

Greg

He set the pen down and he just stared out into space as the memories of her washed over him in waves. There were so many regrets and thoughts of what could have been; of what should have been. He shed many tears that night as he tried to let go of the pain and remember the “beauty” of this woman.
He opened the letter and added one meer line.

P.S.“You are the most incredible woman I have ever known.” u are always going to be the most incredible woman I have ever known.

The volgende dag House walked into what was Cuddy’s office as Wilson was sitting there. For a moment he was quiet as he stood there overwhelmed door the presence of her that he could still felt. He could remember so many encounters in this office. He stood there as the memories flashed quickly through his mind.

He approached Wilson with the letter he wrote and told him that if he saw Cuddy of could get it to her to please try.

I think I am ready to come back to work if the hospital will have me.
Wilson nodded and they headed toward “Human Resources.”
"As they walked it seemed as every step held a memory of them."

"Wilson looked over at his friend," and he put his hand on his shoulder for just a moment. Wilson could tell House was lost and overwhelmed walking the corridors of the hospital.

"Baby steps House." "Baby steps."