How did I get here?
Damn. It hurts just thinking about it.
That walk, was the longest of my life. My feet hit the pavement with the most horrible sound I'd ever heard in my life....
What was the best thing? Hearing her whisper in my ear. Whether it was real of not.
But how could it not be?
I was there. Lifting her clothes slowly off of her, holding her, kissing her. I saw the way she looked at me. How could that have not been real?
I remember the pain that surged through my leg the moment I carried her..It was brief but it was still there...If it wasn't real, I wouldn't have felt it. Would I?
I distinctly remember that pain. I remember throwing up. I remember being in desperate need for vicodin. I remember her face when I tensed out on the couch. And how she compensated door holding my hand. How could I have hallucinated that?
I still remember her face. Her laying along my arm asleep, breathing fast asleep in my ear...
It must have been real. I couldn't have--
Could I? I have no control over my body anymore. I don't know my body anymore.
How did this happen?
House lied awake in his bed. The sheets were rough. A bleach white blanket, that wrapped around him. He tossed and turned, staring at the blank walls before him. The only thing that felt alive were the shadows that were cast throughout his room. Shadows from the branches and boughs all around. The moonlight shined across the linoleum floor. Being the only light to glow.
___
The team sat nearly lifeless in House's outer office. They rubbed their faces in exhaustion over a patient they've had for four days. It was nearly two, so they decided to head out.
Taub went his way and Foreman and Thirteen went theirs, but holding a conversation in the process.
"We can't do this without him," Thirteen uttered hopelessly. Foreman sighed.
"He's got his personal problems to deal with. We shouldn't have been so dependent on him. Now that he's gone, we feel useless."
"I know. So what do u suppose we do?"
___
Tonight. God. The guilt. It rested, like a boulder in my stomach. She needed to know why he did what he did. What he was doing it for. What direction he was going in. What he thought happened. She needs to know. Now.
His timing was perfect. Cuddy had knocked on Wilson's door repeatedly before he managed to answer it.
"Couldn't sleep either," he asked as he opened the door.
"Couldn't even close my eyes," she replied, walking in.
She fell back on his couch, ready to talk. Wilson joined her after he closed the door.
"What time is it?" Her head was thrown back and her eyes were shut. Her hands were fists on the divan, bank as she sat in agony.
"Quarter to four."
"Oh--My--God-ah!"
"Take a breather Cuddy."
She got up from the divan, bank and began pacing a few inches back in forth in front of him.
"I don't see how that is even possible. I literally feel like I'm about to explode--"
Wilson had cut her off her rambling door pulling her back down on the couch. She stopped talking and threw him a look.
"You--need to--breathe and listen to me for a second."
"If you're going to pull calming techniques on me I am so leaving," she zei blankly.
"No, this has nothing to do with how you're reacting--well no. It has to do with House's problem."
Her face softened. She had not expected this.
"We--He hasn't--mm. How should this go..."
"Spit it out Wilson."
"It--his hallucinations. Did he tell you--what they--were?"
"I don't think we had time for that," she zei sarcastically.
"They were all about you. Everything. What he thought happened was.."
And he explained to her everything. What happened in the hallucinations, what he thought was real and what really wasn't. Why he was acting so weird and why he proclaimed to the world they slept together.
"He--to him it seemed so real. And it sounded like it. That's the first hallucination that he's ever hallucinated that was so--in depth. And appearing, slightly meaningful."
She knew he was bound to pose a vraag soon.
"He hallucinated what he wanted. He wants to detox off vicodin. He wants his pains to go away. And, he wants to be with you."
She couldn't find the words. Her mouth felt empty and dry. All she could do was slikken and inhale large amounts of breaths.
"Are you--do you--what are you--?"
She finally caught the words.
"So what exactly are u saying here?"
"I--Ha. I'm not really sure why I'm saying these things to you, and I don't know what you're thinking but, all I know for the time being is--ha um. My assumption is that he's in love with you."
She made a face and he began to explain fairly quickly.
"I--know it sounds crazy but. Have u not heard what I've been telling you? House--can't, his mind can't come up with what he hallucinated. The only thing his mind's good for is to analyze things. Because that's what he's been trained to do, but not create things. Not create a completely in depth scenario of u two--I hm. I don't know, but it just doesn't make sense to me. He can't--not love u and just come up with--No."
At right as he uttered the last word, the clock clicked to four o'clock a.m.
Damn. It hurts just thinking about it.
That walk, was the longest of my life. My feet hit the pavement with the most horrible sound I'd ever heard in my life....
What was the best thing? Hearing her whisper in my ear. Whether it was real of not.
But how could it not be?
I was there. Lifting her clothes slowly off of her, holding her, kissing her. I saw the way she looked at me. How could that have not been real?
I remember the pain that surged through my leg the moment I carried her..It was brief but it was still there...If it wasn't real, I wouldn't have felt it. Would I?
I distinctly remember that pain. I remember throwing up. I remember being in desperate need for vicodin. I remember her face when I tensed out on the couch. And how she compensated door holding my hand. How could I have hallucinated that?
I still remember her face. Her laying along my arm asleep, breathing fast asleep in my ear...
It must have been real. I couldn't have--
Could I? I have no control over my body anymore. I don't know my body anymore.
How did this happen?
House lied awake in his bed. The sheets were rough. A bleach white blanket, that wrapped around him. He tossed and turned, staring at the blank walls before him. The only thing that felt alive were the shadows that were cast throughout his room. Shadows from the branches and boughs all around. The moonlight shined across the linoleum floor. Being the only light to glow.
___
The team sat nearly lifeless in House's outer office. They rubbed their faces in exhaustion over a patient they've had for four days. It was nearly two, so they decided to head out.
Taub went his way and Foreman and Thirteen went theirs, but holding a conversation in the process.
"We can't do this without him," Thirteen uttered hopelessly. Foreman sighed.
"He's got his personal problems to deal with. We shouldn't have been so dependent on him. Now that he's gone, we feel useless."
"I know. So what do u suppose we do?"
___
Tonight. God. The guilt. It rested, like a boulder in my stomach. She needed to know why he did what he did. What he was doing it for. What direction he was going in. What he thought happened. She needs to know. Now.
His timing was perfect. Cuddy had knocked on Wilson's door repeatedly before he managed to answer it.
"Couldn't sleep either," he asked as he opened the door.
"Couldn't even close my eyes," she replied, walking in.
She fell back on his couch, ready to talk. Wilson joined her after he closed the door.
"What time is it?" Her head was thrown back and her eyes were shut. Her hands were fists on the divan, bank as she sat in agony.
"Quarter to four."
"Oh--My--God-ah!"
"Take a breather Cuddy."
She got up from the divan, bank and began pacing a few inches back in forth in front of him.
"I don't see how that is even possible. I literally feel like I'm about to explode--"
Wilson had cut her off her rambling door pulling her back down on the couch. She stopped talking and threw him a look.
"You--need to--breathe and listen to me for a second."
"If you're going to pull calming techniques on me I am so leaving," she zei blankly.
"No, this has nothing to do with how you're reacting--well no. It has to do with House's problem."
Her face softened. She had not expected this.
"We--He hasn't--mm. How should this go..."
"Spit it out Wilson."
"It--his hallucinations. Did he tell you--what they--were?"
"I don't think we had time for that," she zei sarcastically.
"They were all about you. Everything. What he thought happened was.."
And he explained to her everything. What happened in the hallucinations, what he thought was real and what really wasn't. Why he was acting so weird and why he proclaimed to the world they slept together.
"He--to him it seemed so real. And it sounded like it. That's the first hallucination that he's ever hallucinated that was so--in depth. And appearing, slightly meaningful."
She knew he was bound to pose a vraag soon.
"He hallucinated what he wanted. He wants to detox off vicodin. He wants his pains to go away. And, he wants to be with you."
She couldn't find the words. Her mouth felt empty and dry. All she could do was slikken and inhale large amounts of breaths.
"Are you--do you--what are you--?"
She finally caught the words.
"So what exactly are u saying here?"
"I--Ha. I'm not really sure why I'm saying these things to you, and I don't know what you're thinking but, all I know for the time being is--ha um. My assumption is that he's in love with you."
She made a face and he began to explain fairly quickly.
"I--know it sounds crazy but. Have u not heard what I've been telling you? House--can't, his mind can't come up with what he hallucinated. The only thing his mind's good for is to analyze things. Because that's what he's been trained to do, but not create things. Not create a completely in depth scenario of u two--I hm. I don't know, but it just doesn't make sense to me. He can't--not love u and just come up with--No."
At right as he uttered the last word, the clock clicked to four o'clock a.m.