Movie: Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Year: 2007
Role: Sweeney Todd
1. Sweeney Todd: I can guarantee the closest shave you'll ever know.
2. Sweeney Todd: [holding up one of his razors] At last! My arm is complete again!
3. Sweeney Todd: Alright! You, sir? How about a shave? Come and visit your good friend Sweeney! u sir! Too, sir. Welcome to the grave... I will have vengeance. I will have salvation... Who, sir? u sir!No one's in the chair. Come on, come on! Sweeney's waiting. I want u bleeders. u sir? Anybody? Gentlemen, now don't be shy. Not one man... No, nor ten men... Nor a hundred can assuage me. I will have you! And I will get him back even as he gloats; In the meantime I'll practice on less honorable throats... And my Lucy lies in ashes, and I'll never see my girl again. But the work waits! I'm alive at last, and I'm full of joy!
4. Sweeney Todd: Noooooo! Would no one have mercy on her?
Mrs. Lovett: So it's you. Benjamin Barker
Sweeney Todd: Where's Lucy? Where's my wife?
Mrs. Lovett: She poisoned herself, arsenic from the apothecary round the corner, I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen to me, and he's got your daughter.
Sweeney Todd: He? Judge Turpin?
Mrs. Lovett: [nods] Adopted her like his own.
Sweeney Todd: 15 years sweating, and living hell, for a false charge. 15 years dreaming I might come home pagina to a wife and child.
Mrs. Lovett: Well, I can't say the years have been particularly kind to you, Mr. Barker. Sweeney Todd: No, not Barker. That man is dead. It's Todd now. Sweeney Todd... and he will have his revenge.
5. Sweeney Todd: [sung] They all deserve to die. Tell u why, Mrs. Lovett, tell u why! Because in all of the whole human race, Mrs. Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two. There's the one staying put in his proper place and one with his foot in the other one's face. Look at me, Mrs Lovett! Look at you! No, we all deserve to die... Even you, Mrs Lovett, even I! Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief. For the rest of us death will be a relief. We all deserve to die... And I'll never see Johanna, no I'll never hug my girl to me... FINISHED!
6. Mrs. Lovett: You're barking mad! Killing a man what done ya no harm!
Sweeney Todd: [polishing his razor] He recognized me from the old days. Tried to blackmail me. Half me earnings.
Mrs. Lovett: [relieved] Oh, well that's a different matter then.
7. Sweeney Todd: [to Mrs. Lovett while looking at his razor] The Judge! When will we get to him?
8. [Judge Turpin leaves from the barbershop thanks to Anthony's blundering]
Sweeney Todd: [quietly] Out.
Anthony Hope: Mr. Todd... u have to help me!
Sweeney Todd: [louder] Out.
Anthony Hope: [persistent] Mr. Todd, please, I...
Sweeney Todd: [roars] *Out*!
[Anthony runs out, and Mrs. Lovett hurries in]
Mrs. Lovett: [arriving] All this running and shouting, wot's going on?
Sweeney Todd: [sings] I had him! His throat was bare, beneath my hand!
Mrs. Lovett: There, there, dear, calm down...
Sweeney Todd: No! I had him! His throat was there, and now he'll never come again!
Mrs. Lovett: [sings to calm him] Easy now. Hush, love, hush. / I keep telling you,
Sweeney Todd: *When*?
Mrs. Lovett: What's your rush?
Sweeney Todd: Why did I wait? / u told me to wait! / Now he'll never come again!
[he goes toward the window and looks at it]
Sweeney Todd: There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, / And it's filled with people who are filled with shit, / And the vermin of the world inhabit it, / But not for loooong!
9. Anthony Hope: Is everything alright, Mister Todd?
Sweeney Todd: I beg your indulgence, Anthony. My mind is far from easy. In these once familiar streets I feel shadows... everywhere...
Anthony Hope: Shadows?
Sweeney Todd: ...Ghosts.
10. Sweeney Todd: And who may it be zei is your intended, sir?
Judge Turpin: My ward... and pretty as a rosebud.
Sweeney Todd: Pretty as her mother?
Judge Turpin: [confused] Wha... what was that?
Sweeney Todd: Nothing, sir. Nothing. May we proceed?
11. Sweeney Todd: The history of the world, my pet...
Mrs. Lovett: Oh, Mr. Todd! Ooh, Mr. Todd! Leave it to me!
Sweeney Todd: Is learn forgiveness and try to forget!
Mrs. Lovett: door the sea, Mr. Todd we'll be comfy-cozy / door the sea, Mr. Todd, where there's no one nosy!
Sweeney Todd: And life is for the alive, my dear / So let's keep living it.
Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett: Just keep living it! Really living it - !
Sweeney Todd: [Throws Mrs. Lovett into the oven]
12. Judge Turpin: How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit.
Sweeney Todd: With fellow tastes... in women at least.
Judge Turpin: [unsettled] What's that?
Sweeney Todd: The years, no doubt, have changed me, sir. But then I suppose the face of a barber, the face of a prisoner in the dock, is not particularly memorable.
Judge Turpin: [with immense shock] Benjamin... Barker...
Sweeney Todd: [shouts] Benjamin Barker!
13. Mrs. Lovett: Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
Sweeney Todd: What was his crime?
Mrs. Lovett: Foolishness.
14. Sweeney Todd: u have a room over the shop, don't you? If times are so hard, why don't u rent it out?
Mrs. Lovett: People think it's haunted.
Sweeney Todd: Haunted?
Mrs. Lovett: Yeah. And who's to say they're wrong? u see, years ago, something happened up there. Something not very nice.
15. Sweeney Todd: I do. I'm Mr. Sweeney Todd from Fleet Street. I have opened a bottle of Pirelli's Elixir and I say to you, it is nothing but an errant fraud, concocted from piss and ink. And furthermore, "Signor", I have serviced no kings, yet I wager that I can shave a cheek with ten times meer dexterity than any straat mountebank.
16. Sweeney Todd: What may I do for u today, sir? A stylish trimming of the hair? A soothing skin massage? Sit, sir, sit.
Judge Turpin: [singing] u see, sir, a man infatuate with love, her ardent and eager slave. So fetch the pomade and pumice stone and lend me a meer seductive tone, a sprinkling perhaps of French cologne, but first, sir, I think... a shave.
Sweeney Todd: The closest I ever gave.
17. Sweeney Todd: [with a smile] These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett and desperate measures are called for...
18. Sweeney Todd: [sings] There was a barber and his wife, / And she was beautiful. / A foolish barber and his wife. / She was his reason and his life, / And she was beautiful. / And she was virtuous. / And he was... naive. / There was another man who saw / That she was beautiful, / A pious gier of the law, / Who with a gesture of his claw / Removed the barber from his plate. / Then there was nothing but to wait / And she would fall, / So soft, / So young, / So lost, / And oh, so beautiful.
Anthony Hope: And the lady, sir, did she succumb?
Sweeney Todd: [sings] Oh, that was many years ago... / I doubt if anyone would know.
[turns and speaks to Anthony]
Sweeney Todd: I'd like to thank you, Anthony. If u hadn't spotted me, I would be lost on the ocean still.
Anthony Hope: Will I see u again?
Sweeney Todd: u might find me, if u like, around Fleet Street, I wouldn't wonder.
[looks down the street]
Anthony Hope: [holds out his hand for Sweeney to shake] Until then, my friend.
[Sweeney ignores Anthony and walks down the street]
19. [last lines]
Sweeney Todd: There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful. A foolish barber and his wife. She was his reason and his life, and she was beautiful. And she was virtuous. And he was...
20. Sweeney Todd: "Don't I know you?" she said. u knew she lived!
Mrs. Lovett: I was only thinking of you!
Sweeney Todd: [angry] u lied to me!
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] No, no, not lied at all! / No, I never lied!
Sweeney Todd: [sings] Lucy...
Mrs. Lovett: zei she took the poison, she did, / Never zei that she died. / Poor thing, she lived...
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] I've come home pagina again...
Mrs. Lovett: But it left her weak in the head, / All she did for months was just lie there in bed...
Sweeney Todd: [unison] Lucy...
Mrs. Lovett: Should've been in hospital, / Wound up in Bedlam instead, / Poor thing!
Sweeney Todd: [unison] Oh, my God...!
Mrs. Lovett: Better u should think she was dead. / Yes, I lied 'cause I love you!
Sweeney Todd: [unison] Lucy!
Mrs. Lovett: I'd be twice the wife she was!
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] What have I done?
Mrs. Lovett: [in unison] I love you! Could that *thing* have cared for u like me?
[he turns toward Mrs. Lovett in anger]
Sweeney Todd: Mrs. Lovett, / You're a bloody wonder, / Eminently practical and yet / Appropriate as always. / As you've zei repeatedly, / There's little point in dwelling on the past!
Mrs. Lovett: Do u mean it?
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] No, come here, my love... / Not a thing to fear, my love...
Mrs. Lovett: [in unison] Everything I did, / I swear, / I thought / Was only for the best!
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] What's dead is dead!
Mrs. Lovett: [in unison] Believe me! Can we still be married?
21. [Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett buy what appears to be Pirelli's Miracle Elixir]
Sweeney Todd: [opens the lid] What is this?
Mrs. Lovett: What is this?
Sweeney Todd: Smells like piss.
Mrs. Lovett: [sniffs] Smells like, eww!
Sweeney Todd: Looks like piss.
Mrs. Lovett: [unison] I wouldn't touch it if I was you, dear.
Sweeney Todd: This is piss. / Piss with ink.
22. Judge Turpin: [arriving at the barbershop] Mr. Todd?
Sweeney Todd: At your service... an honor to receive your patronage, my lord.
Judge Turpin: Do u know me, sir?
Sweeney Todd: Who in this wide world does not know the great Judge Turpin?
Judge Turpin: These premises are hardly prepossessing. And yet the Beadle tells me you're the most accomplished of all the barbers in the city.
Sweeney Todd: That is gracious of him, sir
23. Sweeney Todd: And though I'll think of you, I guess, until the dag I die, I think I miss u less and less as every dag goes by!
