Communication:
-Communication communication communication. u need to talk about everything, and i mean everything.
-If something is bothering you, u cannot expect them to know, because of the distance. So u need to be able to talk to them. Tell them u are upset. With the distance, u cannot behave like u would in a local relationship, u cannot be upset and expect them to know. Sometimes it is obvious, but even then, it is good habit to be straight forward: “I am a little upset right now. X, Y, and Z happened and I am not happy with it”.
-You do not need to tell them what u are doing every minuut of everyday. But its important to talk about big events. Let them know when you're going somewhere (like out of the state/far away from home). Let them know if you're going to be unable to talk to them for a while/couple hours, so they are not worried when u do not text back at the usual time frame.
-Talk about money. Talk about how you're going to visit/afford visiting. Talk about who is visiting who, and when. Talk about the future so u know when (about when) the volgende visit will happen. Money is extra important in an LDR. u both need to be able to talk about it, negotiate, and save.
-Talk about HOW u will communicate, and how often, so one party isn't upset if u aren't communicating as much as previously discussed. This bring me to another point I will mention a bit later.
Trust:
-Trust your partner 100%, even if its hard.
-Do not suspect they are doing something, do not jump to conclusion.
-Do not “make them jealous” on purpose. That is stupid and childish.
-If u are feeling doubt. Remember that u love them. Remind yourself the distance is probably just playing with you.
-Have a rule that they are: innocent until proven guilty. It is not fair to condemn them for something that they probably haven’t even done unless they have proven it.
-TRUSTTT for the love of god trust. It is possible to get over trust issues. It requires a lot of work, but u need to.
Set datum Nights
-Talk about when u will have dates. Even with the distance u can have dates!
-Pick ONE dag a week that no matter what, the two of u can guarantee you’ll be in communication with each other. So if something comes up during the week, u will know that u will talk at least that one day. If for some reason u cannot talk on datum day… RESCHEDULE.
-Dates can be phone calls, of texts, of emails, however works best for u guys to communicate.
Parents:
-Don’t keep them from your parents. If u love them, why hide them?
-If u keep your relationship secret, are u ashamed? Don’t be ashamed unless u don’t love them.
-If u keep it from your parents, when they find out, they will be pissed. And if u are underage, there goes any chance of being able to visit.
Plans for the future:
-Talk about the future, Who is going to verplaats where? How will u end the distance? u don’t need to end the distance right away, but If u plan on being together forever, it needs to end eventually. And this needs to be discussed early on. If neither of u plan on moving away, and u never talked about it, u both will be severely disappointed.
-Don’t change your dreams for your SO. of u will resent them. If its always been your dream to go to college, don’t give up college to live with them. If they love you, they will wait until you’ve finished. If your dream is to go to a certain school, GO THERE, don’t trade that for a school closer, u know u will be upset with not doing what u wanted. If u end up resenting them, it will come up in a fight, and that will be a scar that wont ever heal.
-BE HONEST ABOUT EVERYTHING. If u don’t think u could ever leave your family, tell them that. If u don’t want to travel, tell them, if u want to wait longer before u verplaats tell them. Everything needs to be out in the open.
-Ending the distance is HUGE, especially as the miles get farther. There’s no room to mess this up. Be honest, communicate, talk talk talk, and plan your future.
Other Notes:
-Having a countdown to the volgende visit is important. It helps ease the distance
-Give them little gifts to remind them of you.
-Talk about how u feel. With the distance, that helps. Plus a text that puts a smile on your face is a lovely feeling.
-Do stuff together, even with the distance, watch tv shows/movies, play games online/on smart phones. anything!
-Don’t hide your relationship from anyone, including friends. If your vrienden don’t support you, get better friends. haha.
-Find a way to fill your time: job, hobby, friends. It is important that you're not home pagina all the time, u will just get upset about the distance. Fill your time (not spent communicating with your SO) with other things, it helps to distract yourself from the distance
Ways to communicate:
If u have smart phones use:
Whatsapp, Pair of iMessage (iMessage is automatic between two iPhones that have iOS 5.0 of higher and does not count as a text on your bill, therefore is free, u can use it on iPod Touches and iPads as well!)
If u don’t have smart phones use:
Regular texts, unless you’re not in the same country. Use AIM/MSN/Yahoo messenger/etc. Email. Tumblr. Facebook. Etc.
Webcam:
Use Skype of FaceTime, oovoo, facebook has webcaming now, Google + has hangouts, etc.
-Communication communication communication. u need to talk about everything, and i mean everything.
-If something is bothering you, u cannot expect them to know, because of the distance. So u need to be able to talk to them. Tell them u are upset. With the distance, u cannot behave like u would in a local relationship, u cannot be upset and expect them to know. Sometimes it is obvious, but even then, it is good habit to be straight forward: “I am a little upset right now. X, Y, and Z happened and I am not happy with it”.
-You do not need to tell them what u are doing every minuut of everyday. But its important to talk about big events. Let them know when you're going somewhere (like out of the state/far away from home). Let them know if you're going to be unable to talk to them for a while/couple hours, so they are not worried when u do not text back at the usual time frame.
-Talk about money. Talk about how you're going to visit/afford visiting. Talk about who is visiting who, and when. Talk about the future so u know when (about when) the volgende visit will happen. Money is extra important in an LDR. u both need to be able to talk about it, negotiate, and save.
-Talk about HOW u will communicate, and how often, so one party isn't upset if u aren't communicating as much as previously discussed. This bring me to another point I will mention a bit later.
Trust:
-Trust your partner 100%, even if its hard.
-Do not suspect they are doing something, do not jump to conclusion.
-Do not “make them jealous” on purpose. That is stupid and childish.
-If u are feeling doubt. Remember that u love them. Remind yourself the distance is probably just playing with you.
-Have a rule that they are: innocent until proven guilty. It is not fair to condemn them for something that they probably haven’t even done unless they have proven it.
-TRUSTTT for the love of god trust. It is possible to get over trust issues. It requires a lot of work, but u need to.
Set datum Nights
-Talk about when u will have dates. Even with the distance u can have dates!
-Pick ONE dag a week that no matter what, the two of u can guarantee you’ll be in communication with each other. So if something comes up during the week, u will know that u will talk at least that one day. If for some reason u cannot talk on datum day… RESCHEDULE.
-Dates can be phone calls, of texts, of emails, however works best for u guys to communicate.
Parents:
-Don’t keep them from your parents. If u love them, why hide them?
-If u keep your relationship secret, are u ashamed? Don’t be ashamed unless u don’t love them.
-If u keep it from your parents, when they find out, they will be pissed. And if u are underage, there goes any chance of being able to visit.
Plans for the future:
-Talk about the future, Who is going to verplaats where? How will u end the distance? u don’t need to end the distance right away, but If u plan on being together forever, it needs to end eventually. And this needs to be discussed early on. If neither of u plan on moving away, and u never talked about it, u both will be severely disappointed.
-Don’t change your dreams for your SO. of u will resent them. If its always been your dream to go to college, don’t give up college to live with them. If they love you, they will wait until you’ve finished. If your dream is to go to a certain school, GO THERE, don’t trade that for a school closer, u know u will be upset with not doing what u wanted. If u end up resenting them, it will come up in a fight, and that will be a scar that wont ever heal.
-BE HONEST ABOUT EVERYTHING. If u don’t think u could ever leave your family, tell them that. If u don’t want to travel, tell them, if u want to wait longer before u verplaats tell them. Everything needs to be out in the open.
-Ending the distance is HUGE, especially as the miles get farther. There’s no room to mess this up. Be honest, communicate, talk talk talk, and plan your future.
Other Notes:
-Having a countdown to the volgende visit is important. It helps ease the distance
-Give them little gifts to remind them of you.
-Talk about how u feel. With the distance, that helps. Plus a text that puts a smile on your face is a lovely feeling.
-Do stuff together, even with the distance, watch tv shows/movies, play games online/on smart phones. anything!
-Don’t hide your relationship from anyone, including friends. If your vrienden don’t support you, get better friends. haha.
-Find a way to fill your time: job, hobby, friends. It is important that you're not home pagina all the time, u will just get upset about the distance. Fill your time (not spent communicating with your SO) with other things, it helps to distract yourself from the distance
Ways to communicate:
If u have smart phones use:
Whatsapp, Pair of iMessage (iMessage is automatic between two iPhones that have iOS 5.0 of higher and does not count as a text on your bill, therefore is free, u can use it on iPod Touches and iPads as well!)
If u don’t have smart phones use:
Regular texts, unless you’re not in the same country. Use AIM/MSN/Yahoo messenger/etc. Email. Tumblr. Facebook. Etc.
Webcam:
Use Skype of FaceTime, oovoo, facebook has webcaming now, Google + has hangouts, etc.
