My Little pony Friendship is Magic Club
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Date: January 3, 1960
Location: Cheyenne, Wyoming
Time: 9:00 AM
Railroad: Union Pacific

Pete was in his office reading a newspaper. Hawkeye, and Stylo entered the office to see him.

Hawkeye: We heard very good news from Snowflake.
Stylo: Tell us it's true.
Pete: *Sad* It's true. Gordon quit the Union Pacific.
Hawkeye: Why are u sad about it?
Stylo: This is a time to celebrate.
Pete: Have u forgotten that we need engineers on this railway? We're running low on ponies that can drive trains, and Gordon made things worse for us!
Hawkeye: He actually made things better. You're forgetting who you're talking about.
Pete: Yeah? Well take a look at this. *Shows Pierce, and Stylo the newspaper* Gordon blew his own brains out, and all of a sudden, his suicide makes the front page.
Hawkeye: *Sees the newspaper* HAHA! Yes! This is the greatest dag ever!!!
Stylo: Now we really need to celebrate!
Pete: Do u realize what this will do to us? Read the paper.
Hawkeye: An oranje unicorn formerly working on the Union Pacific quit his job in anger, then went to his house, and shot himself in the head.
Pete: Now everypony is going to assume that all of us that work on this railway are suicidal nut jobs.
Hawkeye: There is one thing u can do.
Pete: What's that?
Stylo: Ask some help from the Southern Pacific.
Pete: *Thinks* There is one pony I can get from the SP to help us.

In Los Angeles, Nikki just finished driving an express train. She was waiting for it to depart, and while doing so, she was playing poker with three stallions inside the station.

Nikki: I am going to raise the stakes to ninety.
Stallions: *Put in 90 dollars*
Stallion 1: There are thousands of dollars in here gentlecolts, *Looks at Nikki* And lady. Now, *Shows his hand* Three of a kind, aces.
Stallion 2: u beat me, two pairs. Eights, and Kings.
Stallion 3: Four of a kind Jacks.
Nikki: *Shows her hand. Four of a kind kings* My kings beat your Jacks.
Stallion 3: *Pushes the money to Nikki* Well done. *Hears the phone ringing* Excuse me. *Goes to the phone* Bruce Arvantidas. *Listens to the phone* Yes. She's here. She is? Well, I'll let her know right now. *Hangs up* Nikki, u got a call from your boss in Ogden. u are working in Cheyenne for the Union Pacific.
Nikki: For how long?
Stallion 3: Michael did not tell me. All I know is that somepony named Pete is running short on engineers. He needs more.
Nikki: I'm on my way.

Meanwhile in Cheyenne.

Pete: *In the train yard* Gonzo!
Mike: *Arrives* Yes sir?
Pete: You're getting a temporary promotion. Can u drive a train?
Mike: Of course I can sir.
Pete: Good. Go to Ogden, and deliver a freight train of livestock, and metal.
Mike: Okay sir.
Pete: It's all set up for you. Climb into that diesel over there, and get going pronto.
Mike: *Runs to the freight train*
Pete: And follow the speed limits. If u go too fast, your train will crash, and if u crash your train, I'll brand you.
Mike: Don't worry sir. I won't crash your train. *Drives the train passing a red signal*
Mirage: *Blows the horn on his train, and applies the brakes, nearly hitting Mike's train*
Pete: *Sighs nervously, and looks at the sky* Why aren't u helping us?
Snowflake: *Opens a window in her yard tower* Sir, are u talking to yourself?
Pete: Nope, I'm trying to get an answer from god. He's screwing us over, and we haven't done a damn thing wrong. Except for the swear word I just zei out loud. *Walks away*

2 B Continued
added by tinkerbell66799
Source: Original Owners (NOT ME!!)
added by LavenderLily
Source: To their rightful owners
added by tinkerbell66799
Source: Original Owners... NOT ME
posted by Canada24
Two weeks after we last left off.

Today was the day, Ditto was suppose to come.

"I still can't believe we have to do this" Dash groaned, her nose still bandaged and she hovered over them.

"Hey, it's not our call, it's Celestia's" Twilight told the young Pegasus.

"Fine" Dash groaned.

"Lets just hope he dosen't try anything" She added.

Everyone agreed.

Eventually Celestia flew down in her carriage, carrying Ditto in it as well.

"Ahh, there u are" Twilight said.

Celestia noded and got out of the carriage, and took Ditto out of it also, who looked not at all pleased about being here.

Twilight and the others...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con, and Ms. Bonjour were on top, boven of the train while Fenix was in his car calling the police.

Fenix: That's right. They're on top, boven of a train, and one of them is an agent of the C.I.E. Please, you've got to help him.
Police: Ok, we'll send some units to try, and stop whoever is killing your friend.

On the train.

Ms. Bonjour: *kicks Con*
Con: *Nearly falls off*
Ms. Bonjour: Au Revoir Mr. Mane.
Con: *Climbs back on*
Ms. Bonjour: Grrr. *Hits Con*
Con: *Punches Ms. Bonjour*
Ms. Bonjour: *lays on roof*
Con: *Kicks Ms. Bonjour*
Ms. Bonjour: Signal!
Con: *gets hit door signal*
Ms. Bonjour: Hahahaha!
Con: *Falls...
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Welcome back, everypony. The last we saw our heroes, they were receiving recognition from the four princesses of Equestria. We then turned to deep within the Everfree Forest, where King Sombra lay dormant. Red Rose, who aided in the killing of King Cobra, brought the news to her fallen fiancee. Queen Chrysalis has allied with King Sombra, and we kom bij them making their way through the forest.

King Sombra: How many do u have in your army, Chrysalis?

Queen Chrysalis: (cackling) Thousands, not including the ones currently hidden within Canterlot and the Chrystal Empire.

King Sombra: Excellent! How...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
Dan : but... but... but... JADE!
Jade : hell yea...
Shadow : wait a second... but... u was in Africa
Jade : I heard that guys kicking your ezel soo...
Shadow : oh well...
Dan : but... how... where... WHAAAT!
Jade : no time to lose lets GO!
Yes its her, best double agent in the world, If she wants to kick our corp. asses... she gonna DO IT... but she with us now...
Dan : u right!
Everypony start running to the small hallway and they jump into truck
Jade : GO GO GO!
Driver : *move truck*
The truck goes to the city then to the black alley
Dan : Jade... where w-
Jade : *put gun to Dan Head* shut up! now...
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My Little Pony, My Little Pony,
What is friendship all about?
My Little Pony, My Little Pony,
Friendship is magic!
My Little Pony,
I used to wonder what friendship could be,
My Little Pony,
until u all shared it's magic with me!
When I was young I was too busy to make any friends, some silliness did not seem worth the effort it expands,
but my little ponies. u opened up my eyes,
and now the truth's crystal clear, as splendid as summer skies,
and it's such a wonderful surprise,
My Little Pony,
I used to wonder what friendship could be,
My Little Pony,
until u all shared it's magic with me!
When danger...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Sunset Shimmer's car, stolen door Braeburn
Sunset Shimmer's car, stolen by Braeburn
Braeburn was out of the tournament, and was very angry.

Sergi: *parks car*
Braeburn: *walks toward Sergi's car*
Apyr: We got company
Braeburn: *carrying baseball bat*
Sergi: Well, we're outta here *floors it*
Braeburn: Oh no u don't!! *runs to car* Give me your car!!
Sunset Shimmer: No, get lost!
Braeburn: *hits Sunset Shimmer with bat*
Sunset Shimmer: *Knocked Out*
Braeburn: *steals car*

Sergi was driving toward the highway out of Canterlot

Braeburn: *gets behind Sergi*
Apyr: Are u kidding me?
Sergi: What's the matter?
Apyr: Braeburn is following us!
Braeburn: GET BACK HERE!!
Police: *sees car chase*...
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posted by NeonInfernoLord
Funny how a town filled with so much joy could befall to such a deadly game…

It was total darkness in…wherever she was. Her eyes adjusted somewhat to it but as far as she knew she was in a hole. She tried to verplaats but she realized her entire lower body was encased inside of something. It was so snug until the point that she couldn't even feel her lower body.

"H-hello!? Rarity!? Scootaloo!?" Sweetie Belle screamed out but couldn't make anything out in the vacant abyss. She let out little whimpers as another voice rang from her side.

"S-sweetie Belle, I'm right here!" The voice of Scootaloo rang...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
A lot of people think Moonraker is the worst Bond film, but what about Nightmare Moonraker?

We begin in western europe, as an airplane with ponies that are learning to skydive is flying 30,000 feet above the air

Russian pony: I have never done this before. Have you?
Con: No.
Russian pony: Oh u from United States of Equestria?
Con: Yeah. So is this pony
Luna: Hi.
Russian pony: Hello *casts a spell*
Con: What are u doing?
Russian pony: *turns luna evil*
Nightmare moon: *grabs parachutes*
Con: What did u do?
Russian pony: I turned Luna evil!
Con: u sick asshole *hits russian*
Russian pony:...
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Hello. I have been hearing from a lot of bronies that Princess Celestia is a troll. There are a lot of reasons to mark that, so I will toon u them.

Reason one: In The Ticket Master, she gave Twilight Sparkle only two tickets when she already knew that she has 5 friends. Twilight Sparkle was stressing out for nothing in the end.

Reason two: When Twilight Sparkle was talking to Princess Celestia about when she banished Luna to the moon, Celestia tried to change the subject, saying, ''Go make some friends!''. This redirected her attention.

Reason three: In the episode Bird In A Hoof, Mrs. Cake...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
They reached the house, but it seemed vacant.

Harry: Let's check in the alley. *goes in*
Peter: *follows*
Harry: *looks in house*
Peter: u see anyone?
Harry: Yeah *looks at mare* And she's naked.
hobos: *hit Harry* What do u think you're doing perv? We oughta call the cops on you!
Harry: I am the cops
hobos: *beat up Harry*
Peter: That's enough! San Franciscolt Police Department!
hobos: *stand near wall*
Harry: Let them go. We gotta check somewhere else.
operator: Inspector 71, u there?
Harry: Yeah. What's up?
operator: We've got a meld of a pony trying to commit suicide on the TransEquestria...
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*This story shall be divided into two parts, both of them bearing a similar aspect to the seconde story of Cinderella II: Dreams Come True. I hope that u will all enjoy this. I apologize for it being too long.*

It was a great sunny dag in Ponyville. Everyone was doing their usual business, whether it be doing work, talking to others, of just relaxing their dag away. As we get to the schoolhouse, we see the little colts and fillies come running out of the door. But why? Because school was out for the summer! Everyone there was very happy to leave so they could hang out with each other meer often....
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
In case u are wondering, ani is korean for no.

Three old blind stallions were walking alongside a straat to a club. They were all walking with canes making sure they weren't going to hit anything. They kept walking until they saw a pony get in a red sports car. Yes, the stallions were old, but they weren't blind. As the pony was getting in his sports car the stallions shot him. Then they got in a old hearse, and drove away. "One agent down two to go." the driver said. "Who are we killing next?" the oranje stallion asked. "Our volgende target is a yellow Alicorn that lives right here." The driver...
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Stormy: That's enough Discord!!
Discord: nothing is enough for me!
Score: (picks up Nikki and takes her behind some bushes) I'm so sorry Nikki, *sniff* hang on there! (Goes back to fight)
Stormy: Your never gonna get away with this!
Discord: I already got away with this! BWAHAHAHAHA!!
Score: Well? What are u waiting for? Stab me if u can.
Discord: Very Well, (picks up Score) ready?
Score: Rea-
Stormy: WAIT!!!!
Score: Stormy?! What are u doing?!?
Stormy: Listen Discord, u are-
Discord: So powerful? So Handsome? So evil?
Stormy: uhhh..no
Discord: Then what am I?
Score: Don't listen to her! Stab me!...
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posted by savana89
"rain bow dash!!!"
"hu pinky? what is it?"
"your sister is back"
"WHAT BUT HOW!!!!"
"i dont know shes coming-(passes out on grond)
"hello dashy my little sister WHO PUT A CURS ON ME AND BAND ME WITH YOUR vrienden but i forgive u now"
"uh.....i missed you?"
"aw i missed u to do u need any help dashy"
"ya can u um(looks aroud) can u clear all the clouds for me?"
"oh yes dashy(flys away)"
"i need to tell that egg head"
LATER
"SPIKE,take a leter"
"ok"
"D-"
"ill do it"
"ok"
"dear princesses, my sister is back u must come save us befor it happens from rain bow"
"hmm that was sort"
"whatever"
"oh dear sister whats going on ARE u SENDING A LETTER TO THE PRINESSES!!!"
"no no not at all(spikes sends the leter) its a letter to my... docter"
"ok dashy ill be back!"
Back with the story......

Pixel: So what u- Ow!
Score: What happen?
Pixel: A stupid TW scratched me...
Score: *gasp* Are u okay?
Pixel: Yea....but it's bleeding..
Score: Don't worry, I know somepony who can help
Pixel: Really? Who?
Score: AZURA!!!
Azura: yes?
Score: Do u have any bandages?
Azura: yes, I do. Do u need some?
Score: Yep

After Azura put some bandages on Pixel, Score explained everything that was happening, and asked him if he wanted to join, he zei he was. Later, Score introduced her vrienden to Pixel.

Brawny: Welcome to the herd brother
Pixel: *laughs*
Stormy: okay, now what?
Cotton Swirls:...
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Greetings, fellow Bronies, it's me again, writing another piece of my thoughts. Today, it's going to be about the stuff made door Hasbro.

That's right! I'm going to tell about the toys! Now, don't get me wrong, I understand why they made them. This toon was targetted to little children, so it was obvious that there were going to be toys based of that. But, that's what it means for me.

I'm not going to condem you, Bronies who have toys of the Mane Six and others, but I'm going to talk about my opinion about it.

For me, it's a little akward to see grown men playing with 5 Centimeter long bright colored...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor