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added by thetacoman
posted by thetacoman
CDT--- This is my brother Torren, Tydus said. And this is his wife, Artemis. Dragoob just stared at us. Come off it Ryan, zei Dragoob. Even though Ive never met him, Ive followed u enough to know your name is Tyler. Besides, your too young to get married. This got Artemis mad. The king of Nimea criticised us recently, despite our service. He sacrificed himself for the nation, but lately, hes become really arrogant. WAIT! FOCUS TORREN! She kneed Dragoob between the legs. Lemme explain something to you, she zei quietly. I am married to TORREN, Tydus is his brother, and I am carrying TORRENS...
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posted by thetacoman
We normally dont talk about skool here, because its boring accept for the occaisional brainwashing (and a ceartin mortal whos name starts with J) but today is special.
Mrs Optima, our political history teacher at Peacbridge High, was holding a brain lasor to a kids head. I ASKED YOU, she zei all psycho, WHO YOUR favoriete TEACHER IS! the boy whimpered.m-Mrs Optima? he guessed. Mrs Optima was so heavily brainwashed when she went to the skool, she is forced to smile for the rest of her life. So when she threatened her life, u didnt know she was serious, and BAM! Death. Good, she answered. GO...
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posted by thetacoman
Paparatzi everywhere. Do u know how HARD it is to sleep withs cameras going off every five seconds?
Like I said, were now the posterchildren for the war effort, and now have no privacy. Several things have come to light. Like the fact Torren and Artemis arent married. We currently are planning a wedding, but it wont be until volgende month. Not good for the press, apparently. I am a chaplin, and because I am the babys uncle, I am wanted to do the service on a battlefeild. Oh, yeah. Nothing says romance like a soldier and a pregnant princess getting married door a warring chaplin on bloody battlefeild...
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posted by thetacoman
Ahh war. Normally, itd be wrong, but since the Konfederacy uses AI instead of human soldiers, its fine.
Ever since Athena ordered Artemis be captured, Nimea has been at war with the Konfederacy. Itll be fun to rip President Cybroyns CPU out of his brain (actually, everyone in the Konfederacy is AI).
What is the Konfederacy? History says it was the first (and only) civil rebellion to topple the Nimean monarchy. It lasted for 3X777 years before toppling under its own weight. Now that the breeding stock, what Dhears (the old) Konfederacy consislders the perfect race, is gone, they must use AI.
So,...
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posted by thetacoman
Im fighting of sleep, hunger, and thirst. I am getting dizzy, and even though I know Tydus and Torren are onboard, Im losing faith. I hear bootsteps coming down the hallway. But I wont let them win. I slash with my nails at the attackers, hitting flesh. I continue the rampage until someone strong grabs my shoulders. I keep fighting until I hear his voice. Artemis, Artemis, its okay, Im here, says Torren. I look into his eyes for a seconde and then sob into his chest. When Im done, Tydus puts his hands on my abdomen and chants a prayer in Nimean a couple of times before signing himself. Tydus,...
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posted by thetacoman
I guess this is either a very vivid dream, of a live battle with a monster.
I stand in a starry night with a baby in my arms. Hes so cute. I love him so much already. Even though I just met him, he feels familiar. I just hold him close. But then, a shadow person walks up to me. It points to the baby, and holds out its hand, as if expecting me to give it up. I hold the little one tighter and run away. But the shadow person will have none of it. It shoots something from its hand, and when it strikes me, my limbs turn to lead. I hold the baby even tighter, though. It seems like I cant let it go....
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posted by thetacoman
A word of advice: girls, DONT GET PREGNANT! Ugg, do u KNOW how terrible it is? Allow me to speak from my current experience; its not fun. In case u are one of the many Torrens (dont get me wrong, I still love him) I am Artemis. Weve been able to hide this fact from Tydus using the memory lasor and my promenade dresses (think bed comforter over steel scaffold) for now, but it may not be so easy to hide in a couple months.
So, yeah, its been rather typical for me. Ive had cravings for Tydus' flesh, desires to kill Torren for our situation, and Ive thrown up meer than once.
But thats not what...
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posted by thetacoman
Mr Tydus, I say from the commanders chair. brand all LASORS on the enemy. Were in our new battle cruiser, and I got shotgun. Right away, Captian Jerk, zei Tydus from the control panel. We were being attacked door the Greconians, an evil cult in the criminal underbelly of Nimea. Why are we being chased? Artemis. Aparrently, her name suggests that she is a godess, and they want to capture her. I already knew u were a godess Artemis, I zei as Tydus fired the lasors. Maybe I should get my priorities in order. 1 Dont die 2 Flirt. Anyway, we won (that seems to happen a lot, huh?) and were landing...
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posted by thetacoman
I woke up before Tydus today. Stupid me, the one up first has to do the chores. Artemis has recently started living with us, but I dont really think this is a good thing (dont worry, Ill tell later). Anyway, I walk in all sweaty and stuff, and I see Artemis eating cereal in the keuken-, keuken with a knife, and normally, I wouldve stared at her in her nightie (which isnt creepy cause were dating). But I noticed.. ahem.. her waist was... Well, lets just say Tydus would have a nephew earlier than planned. And, just to my luck, Tydus walks in. I grab a blanket from the pantry, throw it on Artemis, and...
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posted by thetacoman
Yep. Just sitting on the couch. Watching tv with my girlfriend Artemis (oh yeah, its me Torren narrating). GOSH Im bored. Wanna make out? I ask Artemis. In case u havent noticed, I have a very small attention span, and have to much time on my hands. Sure, she answers. So, there we are, kissing on the divan, bank with the tv on, and I notice something. Hey, I say, coming up for air. Tydus isnt complaining about us making out on his couch. In fact, I dont think hes even here. Oh no. Torren, u idiot, u left your brother in Alaska. Cmon, Artemis, we gotta go back to Alaska. She pushes herself up...
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posted by thetacoman
OMYFUDGINGJELLYITSFUDGINGGIR! I yell like a fangirl as I see Gir. OMYFUDGINGJELLYITSFUDGINGPERSON! yelled Gir back. i I squeeze Gir tight. CAN WE KEEP HIM? I do an epic cute face which is cute to Artemis. And take him away from everyone else Tydus? asked Artemis. Do u really want to do that? I has guilty face. Nooo, I answer, squeezing Gir one last time. Aww, its okay little boy, HAVE SOME TAQUITOS! TAQUITOS! And a clown with no head! Gir is so awesome. With my taquitos and headless clown, we wander the streets. So Torren, asks Artemis through some taquitos. Where do we go next? Torren flips...
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posted by thetacoman
Ahh, vortexes. Ya gotta love'em. 5 minuten of dropping later, we were INSIDE of my tv. Were in a giant hall with a lot of doors. Can u say Alice? asks Torren. Dangit, he stal my joke. Hey, I say as I examine the doors. All these doors have channel names on them, with shows underneath. And the only one thats open is the one that says Nicktoons. We all moved toward the door. Torren took out a channel guide. Hey, Danny Phantom is on! he said. He can be such a fangirl sometimes. We all jumped through the door when a rabbit in a tux screamed something about being late. We appeared during the...
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posted by thetacoman
Monsters. Not pretty. Goo comes out of them when they explode. Me, Torren, and his girlfreind Artemis, were COVERED in the stuff. Naturally, they teleport home, leaving me to clean up the mess before the mortal police found it. 50 minuten later, I get back home pagina to see Torren and Artemis making out on the divan, bank whilst covered in goo. Freaking goo (and not even the good kind that comes from bees) is FREAKING EVERYWHERE! So, to recap, I have a gooey couch, goeey brother, gooey princess (oh yeah, my brothers dating a princess, woot woot) and since I was gone for 50 minutes, possibly a nephew. Lady...
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added by thetacoman
Source: MEEE! thetacoman
added by thetacoman
Source: MEEE! thetacoman
added by scar_two
Source: fortress forever, me, futoids
added by scar_two
Source: me and thecowman
added by scar_two
Source: thetacoman
posted by thetacoman
Jak T. Rypper- Sociopathic child and accuantince of Tydus. He regurally attempts to conquer the Earth, and this dimension, but is often foiled door Janus Bach (see below)
Jacob A. Rypper- Brother of Jak, and accuantince of Tydus. He participates in Jak's plans for conquest regurally, but is often foiled door the Mortal League and Janus Bach (see below)
Tydus Nereus Oceanius- Friend of Jak and Jacob. He is the archnemesis of Janus Bach, and would do anything to stop him, but does not have the hart-, hart to hurt mortals.
Janus Bach- Leader of the Mortal League, and archnemesis of Tydus. He foils the plans of Jak and Jacob. Until recently, he denounced Tydus as insane.
Mrs. Optima- The teacher at Peacebridge Jr. High.
She is brainwashed into a state of constant happiness.