TDL's note: I'm making a Zombieland spoof with the POM characters. This chapter is the introductoin (the action and awesomeness won't come till later). And some of the character's personalities have changed a bit to fit the storyline. WARNING: RATED PG-13 to R FOR VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE.
I have been through a lot of crap these past few months. 50% it's because a new plague suddenly broke out in the Big appel, apple a few years ago, and still spreading across the state, and will eventually consume all of America and then the whole world. A 25% chance it's because I haven't seen my vrienden in a year. A 15% chance it's because I was tranferred to the zoo in Buffalo and have been living with a bunch of stuck-up skanks. The other 10% is because I haven't had anyone door my side during these dark times.
It's me, Kowalski. I've changed a lot. The only object I keep in hand is my pistol, which is very useful when I come across a herd of you-know-what. My dialogue has drastically changed, too. I'm a lot meer carefree, simply because I have nothing to lose. No friends, no family. No matter how hard I try, I can't get a girl. I'm a major klutz. I still caculate problems in my head, but less and less. But that doesn't matter because life sucks, anyways. I'm just another fucked up penguin.
One jaar ago, a huge zombie break out occured. One jaar ago, people have been turning into fucked up brain-eaters. Out of ideas, my team seperated due to the fear of traveling in groups, which attracts zombies. I haven't heard from Skipper, Rico, Private, of any of our neighbors in one jaar - I don't even know if they're still alive and... normal. Anyways, being smart, I left for the city. Human zombies only go after other humans. So being in the world of humans was a lot safer. This was when less then half of New York was populated door zombies. A policeman saw me, and after much struggling, got a hold of me and transferred me to the zoo in Buffalo.
There, I was thrown into a new pinguïn exhibit, which was the home pagina to at least ten other penguins. It was large and nice, and very suitable for a penguin. Nothing like home. I tried to make vrienden with the others, but they just ignored me, and snickered at me behind my back. The girls there were really good looking. I gained some courage to confront them, but they just gave me the 'Why is this loser talking to me?' look.
So over the volgende few months, I kept to myself. I had my own room, which was great. But it was really lonely. I would take out my clipboard and sketch out the blueprints of what would make really cool inventions. I couldn't actually make these things because I had no lab. So I would just sit around and daydream about what these machines could turn out to be. I also watched the news to get the latest info on the zombie uprising. I would take notes and work on completing my Zombie Survival Guide.
This is where things start to get weird (well, weirder). I was lying in bed one afternoon, reviewing my drawings and outlines over a cup of coffee, when I got a knock on my door. This was strange, because I never get visitors. I lazily got up, thinking it was one of the idiot guys ding-dong ditching me. I opened the door, and surprisingly, there stood Sam, the prettiest of the group of girls. She was pale and looked scared to death.
"What happened?" I asked.
"It's B-Bruce!" She quivered.
Bruce was the toughest and most stuck-up pinguïn in the zoo. He was the one who would always pick on me - he would try to stick my head into the toilet, push me into the water surrounding our exhibit, lock me up in the closet, and so on with his fucking idiot vrienden laughing in the background. He was also Sam's long-term boyfriend.
"What about him?" I questioned, rolling my eyes. Maybe karma happened. Maybe he slipped, and his head got stuck in the toilet. I tried not to snicker at the thought.
"I saw him r-running up to me, and he was covered in cuts and bruises, and blood was falling off his face. I thought he got into a fight!" She took a breath, "I freaked and asked him what he did. He didn't answer me. He ran at me, full speed. I thought he's gone mad! I turned and ran, and he caught up to me. And... h-he bit me!"
I have just noticed the bloody beak marks on her hip.
She continued, "I just barely escaped. I don't know what's gotten into him! I ran to tell my friends, but they weren't here! Eveyone left!" She started sobbing, "What's happening?!"
I knew what happened. The zombie plague is spreading. It came here. And it's not going to end. door then, it was veilig to say we are now living in a world known as Zombieland.
Insert the dramatic muziek here.
All the sudden, Sam jumped into me arms, and wrapped me into a hug. I blushed and hugged her back. I felt her tears running down my back.
"Thank God u are still here!" She cried. "Can I stay over?"
Her pleading blue eyes looked up at me. Damn, she was hot.
I nodded like an idiot.
"Thank you!!" She yelped, "I... I'm sorry for ignoring u these last few months. You're really cool."
I breathed heavily, taking in the compliment. Am I dreaming?
That night we slept on the sofa. She leaned against me, her head on my shoulder, her flippers around my waist.
I was uncomfortable in my position, but I didn't adjust because I didn't want to disturb her slumber. Eventually I fell asleep, knowing I'm going to be waking up with some pretty bad shoulder and hip pains.
Little did I know, I was going to be waking up to a much bigger problem then that.
I have been through a lot of crap these past few months. 50% it's because a new plague suddenly broke out in the Big appel, apple a few years ago, and still spreading across the state, and will eventually consume all of America and then the whole world. A 25% chance it's because I haven't seen my vrienden in a year. A 15% chance it's because I was tranferred to the zoo in Buffalo and have been living with a bunch of stuck-up skanks. The other 10% is because I haven't had anyone door my side during these dark times.
It's me, Kowalski. I've changed a lot. The only object I keep in hand is my pistol, which is very useful when I come across a herd of you-know-what. My dialogue has drastically changed, too. I'm a lot meer carefree, simply because I have nothing to lose. No friends, no family. No matter how hard I try, I can't get a girl. I'm a major klutz. I still caculate problems in my head, but less and less. But that doesn't matter because life sucks, anyways. I'm just another fucked up penguin.
One jaar ago, a huge zombie break out occured. One jaar ago, people have been turning into fucked up brain-eaters. Out of ideas, my team seperated due to the fear of traveling in groups, which attracts zombies. I haven't heard from Skipper, Rico, Private, of any of our neighbors in one jaar - I don't even know if they're still alive and... normal. Anyways, being smart, I left for the city. Human zombies only go after other humans. So being in the world of humans was a lot safer. This was when less then half of New York was populated door zombies. A policeman saw me, and after much struggling, got a hold of me and transferred me to the zoo in Buffalo.
There, I was thrown into a new pinguïn exhibit, which was the home pagina to at least ten other penguins. It was large and nice, and very suitable for a penguin. Nothing like home. I tried to make vrienden with the others, but they just ignored me, and snickered at me behind my back. The girls there were really good looking. I gained some courage to confront them, but they just gave me the 'Why is this loser talking to me?' look.
So over the volgende few months, I kept to myself. I had my own room, which was great. But it was really lonely. I would take out my clipboard and sketch out the blueprints of what would make really cool inventions. I couldn't actually make these things because I had no lab. So I would just sit around and daydream about what these machines could turn out to be. I also watched the news to get the latest info on the zombie uprising. I would take notes and work on completing my Zombie Survival Guide.
This is where things start to get weird (well, weirder). I was lying in bed one afternoon, reviewing my drawings and outlines over a cup of coffee, when I got a knock on my door. This was strange, because I never get visitors. I lazily got up, thinking it was one of the idiot guys ding-dong ditching me. I opened the door, and surprisingly, there stood Sam, the prettiest of the group of girls. She was pale and looked scared to death.
"What happened?" I asked.
"It's B-Bruce!" She quivered.
Bruce was the toughest and most stuck-up pinguïn in the zoo. He was the one who would always pick on me - he would try to stick my head into the toilet, push me into the water surrounding our exhibit, lock me up in the closet, and so on with his fucking idiot vrienden laughing in the background. He was also Sam's long-term boyfriend.
"What about him?" I questioned, rolling my eyes. Maybe karma happened. Maybe he slipped, and his head got stuck in the toilet. I tried not to snicker at the thought.
"I saw him r-running up to me, and he was covered in cuts and bruises, and blood was falling off his face. I thought he got into a fight!" She took a breath, "I freaked and asked him what he did. He didn't answer me. He ran at me, full speed. I thought he's gone mad! I turned and ran, and he caught up to me. And... h-he bit me!"
I have just noticed the bloody beak marks on her hip.
She continued, "I just barely escaped. I don't know what's gotten into him! I ran to tell my friends, but they weren't here! Eveyone left!" She started sobbing, "What's happening?!"
I knew what happened. The zombie plague is spreading. It came here. And it's not going to end. door then, it was veilig to say we are now living in a world known as Zombieland.
Insert the dramatic muziek here.
All the sudden, Sam jumped into me arms, and wrapped me into a hug. I blushed and hugged her back. I felt her tears running down my back.
"Thank God u are still here!" She cried. "Can I stay over?"
Her pleading blue eyes looked up at me. Damn, she was hot.
I nodded like an idiot.
"Thank you!!" She yelped, "I... I'm sorry for ignoring u these last few months. You're really cool."
I breathed heavily, taking in the compliment. Am I dreaming?
That night we slept on the sofa. She leaned against me, her head on my shoulder, her flippers around my waist.
I was uncomfortable in my position, but I didn't adjust because I didn't want to disturb her slumber. Eventually I fell asleep, knowing I'm going to be waking up with some pretty bad shoulder and hip pains.
Little did I know, I was going to be waking up to a much bigger problem then that.
(HQ)
skipper:alright men we have traing today
Private:can't we have a dag off please
Skipper:no
Kowalski:please
Skipper:No!
Rico:PLEASE!
skipper:FINE
penguins:YAH!!!!
(3 hours later and TV turns on)
Skipper:hey what's going on?
Private:I don't know
Dr.Blowhole:pen-guy-ins
Skipper:BLOWHOLE
blowhole:miss me I know I did
Kowalski:no we didn't
(ringtails cames in)
Julien:hello silly penguins
Skipper:RINGTAILS
kowalski:well what do u want
Blowhole:oh nothing is that I have one of your teammates
(private shows on the screen)
Skipper:whoa did not see that caming
Kowalski:PRIVATE!!!!!
Rico:grrr bark bark
skipper:alright men we have traing today
Private:can't we have a dag off please
Skipper:no
Kowalski:please
Skipper:No!
Rico:PLEASE!
skipper:FINE
penguins:YAH!!!!
(3 hours later and TV turns on)
Skipper:hey what's going on?
Private:I don't know
Dr.Blowhole:pen-guy-ins
Skipper:BLOWHOLE
blowhole:miss me I know I did
Kowalski:no we didn't
(ringtails cames in)
Julien:hello silly penguins
Skipper:RINGTAILS
kowalski:well what do u want
Blowhole:oh nothing is that I have one of your teammates
(private shows on the screen)
Skipper:whoa did not see that caming
Kowalski:PRIVATE!!!!!
Rico:grrr bark bark
Harry:Alex today is your special dag
Alex:fun-sized dag
Harry:yeah I guess and we get to do whatever u want
Alex:aw your a nice boyfriend
Harry:yeah I guess
Mars:where are u going can I come
Alex:yes and I don't know where were going
Mars:how about laser tag I love laser tag so do u Alex
Alex:true and we could also go to the zoo
Harry:so laser tag first?
Alex and mars:YEAH!
(at laser tag)
Alex:me,mariella and Hermy are one team and u and Ron on another
Ron:wow u vs your girlfriend
Harry:SHUT UP!
Alex:GO!
(alex shot Ron)
Alex:BOOMBA!!!!
mariella:now Harry
(after laser tag)
Alex:I bet your team hahahahaha
Harry:hahahahaha okay Alex u won know to the zoo
End of part 1 wonder if skipper falls for Alex
Alex:fun-sized dag
Harry:yeah I guess and we get to do whatever u want
Alex:aw your a nice boyfriend
Harry:yeah I guess
Mars:where are u going can I come
Alex:yes and I don't know where were going
Mars:how about laser tag I love laser tag so do u Alex
Alex:true and we could also go to the zoo
Harry:so laser tag first?
Alex and mars:YEAH!
(at laser tag)
Alex:me,mariella and Hermy are one team and u and Ron on another
Ron:wow u vs your girlfriend
Harry:SHUT UP!
Alex:GO!
(alex shot Ron)
Alex:BOOMBA!!!!
mariella:now Harry
(after laser tag)
Alex:I bet your team hahahahaha
Harry:hahahahaha okay Alex u won know to the zoo
End of part 1 wonder if skipper falls for Alex
So we decided to play hide and seek I was the seeker first so the first pinguïn i found was Rico and then Skipper and Kowalski and Lily.
Rico was mad when he was the seeker and thought it will be fun if he murdered someone of a lots of someones.
so i hid it the hotdog cart.kowalski was hiding in the olifant habitat and skipper and lily hid together.
Rico held a bat and hit kowalski and he ran off and he was so happy because he never felt so good before. It started to rain cats and dogs it was nasty out we all went in the HQ without Kowalski following in and we started to worry where he was and we went back out nowhere to be found and we found the bat and the body
But the king still fearful for his girls life decred that all spining weels shall be burned.and so it was done.the 3 good sorsoris know a bonfire was not going to stop jane so they made a plan. the plan was to raice the child themselfs without magic.and so the king and qween wacthed as there only child disappered into the night.
28 YEARS LATER
marlene keeped her name and grow up to be the most bueatifulist otter in the land.she was loved door all she know.at the forbiddin pcik jane had not yet found marlene.it was marlene's 28th bday.the dag jane's corese was to come true.meanwile tamon was takeing his horse for a storel when he heard marlene's singing he sing along.
28 YEARS LATER
marlene keeped her name and grow up to be the most bueatifulist otter in the land.she was loved door all she know.at the forbiddin pcik jane had not yet found marlene.it was marlene's 28th bday.the dag jane's corese was to come true.meanwile tamon was takeing his horse for a storel when he heard marlene's singing he sing along.