Phantom of the Paradise Club
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posted by founten
PHILIBIN-Where are u going?

JUICY FRUIT-I gotta get out of here.

PHILIBIN-What sign are you?

JUICY FRUIT-Leo.

PHILIBIN-You're okay.

JUICY FRUIT-I gotta get out of here.

PHILIBIN-Come on, I wanna toon u something.

JUICY FRUIT-I swear to God.

PHILIBIN-Do u see zwaan-, zwaan up there? He doesn't toon it, but he's thinking: "Why isn't Harold in the car?"Do u really want me to tell him that it's not in the stars for you?

JUICY FRUIT-I don't feel good.

PHILIBIN-You'll feel worse
if u don't do what I say.

JUICY FRUIT-I hear this ticking.

PHILIBIN-Maybe something's loose up there.

JUICY FRUIT-There's something weird here.

PHILIBIN-Take one of these. (takes something out of his pocket)

JUICY FRUIT-I can't take pills...

PHILIBIN-Take the pills, swallow. Feel better?

JUICY FRUIT-Yeah, I feel better.

PHILIBIN-No meer ticking? Get out there. All right. I want big smiles now. Look at the audience. That's it. Big smiles. Sing the song!
posted by founten
BEEF-Man u better get yourself a castrato for this.
It’s a little out of my range.

SWAN-Something bothering you, Beef?

BEEF-This was scored for a chick! I'm not doing it in drag.

SWAN-You can sing it better than any bitch.

BEEF-You don't know how right u are, Goliath. Okay, boys, from the bridge. Hit it. (Beef sings part of “Old Souls”) Who says I can't sing it?

SWAN-I like it. Keep working on it. Drop an octave here,
change a line there. Make it completely yours.
(Swan exists)

BEEF-Far out. (Goes back and looks over the music.) Doesn't that kinda change the whole thing?

PHILIBIN-You heard him. Make it yours. If it sounds
good, nobody will care what it's about?

BEEF-Is that so?

PHILIBIN-Nobody cares what anything’s about.

BEEF-ls that right?

PHILIBIN-Who listens to lyrics anyway?

BEEF-Dry up, tubbo.
posted by founten
SWAN-At least u can talk. Plug yourself
into the console to sing. u really think she's that good?

WINSLOW-Too good for you.

SWAN-I'll hire her anyway.

WINSLOW-She could be my voice now.



SWAN-Could she? Really? Stop terrorising the Paradise
and rewrite your cantata...for Phoenix. We'll both win. u get your cantata sung door the right singer, I open Paradise. We can't waste time. Lock yourself up in here and write.

WINSLOW-I could write for her.

SWAN--it'll be performed here live. Phoenix will star.

WINSLOW-My cantata. For her.

SWAN-I'll get fantastic musicians.
The hall has...

WINSLOW-I don't trust...
continue reading...
posted by founten
PHILIBIN-My name's Arnold Philbin. I scout talent for Swan.
He's interested in your stuff.


WINSLOW-The Swan?

PHILIBIN-That's right.He zei your song could be big.

WINSLOW-Really?



PHILIBIN-I was right there.



WINSLOW-If he produced my music,
the world would listen.



PHILIBIN-The game plan exactly,
but u need a lot of work, polishing.



WINSLOW-I know. I have a long way to go.



PHILIBIN-Do u have any tapes of your stuff?

WINSLOW-No, but it's all written down here.



PHILIBIN-Give us two of three good up numbers.

WINSLOW-Two of three? This cantata is 200 of 300 pages,
and I haven't finished yet.


...
continue reading...
posted by founten
PHILIBIN-Next!What's your name, sweetheart?

PHOENIX-Phoenix.

PHILIBIN--Let's see what u got.

PHOENIX-Do I get to sing this time?

PHILIBIN--You mean you're really a singer?

PHOENIX-Yes, I'm a singer.

PHILIBIN-Try to forget it. We're not looking for
singers. We're looking for screamers.

PHOENIX-I'm not a screamer. I'm a singer.

SWAN-Phoenix. zwaan-, zwaan here. I want u to answer a question.

PHOENIX-Yes?

SWAN-What would u give me to sing?

PHOENIX-Anything u wanted.

SWAN-Anything? Would u give me your voice?

PHOENIX-Try me.