My life with Prince (part 2)

I think you've got a pretty good storyline going.But there are a few things u should consider changing.

*First,you have some really short paragraphs.Try adding some meer details and vivid descriptions.it always makes the readers enjoy it a bit meer if they can picture whats happening door the details the auteur gives.
*Second,try not to put things in parantheses.
-Instead of saying (I return to my room),try, After my parents leave I go back upstairs to my room.
*Third,When your characters are having a conversation,it's important to put quotation marks around what they say and who zei it.
-Instead of putting -OMG...!- I told my sister try, "Oh my gosh!" I say to my sister,unable to keep my excitement a secret.
-Also,when you're writing a story,don't use text like omg of brb of wtf.Spell out the words.Yeah,it does take a little longer to type out but unless u are tonen a conversation people are having on the computer of text messages,it's best to type the words.It'll give the story meer of a story like feel.

I hope this helped.I'm a writer so I figured I'd give u some advice.Don't listen to people who put bad stuff saying "Your story sucks!" of "This blows!Stop writing!" because that will only lower your self esteem in writing.You realy do have a good story and with a little revising u can make it better.

I'd Tell u what man, don't leave to much spaces and make the stories bigger cause volgende jaar probably we will be in chapter 5 so u know. I think if u can do what recommended would help, good luck!