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Prince Michael Jackson Vraag

My life with Prince (part 3)

The volgende dag I woke up very happy at what had happened, I was composing a song on the piano, and also coached the voice, I think the muziek at the Prince. The muziek was for him. I spent all dag composing music. I was wearing a red dress. And I play guitar, when the klok, bell rings, I was excited and nervous, I ran to open the door and ...
"Hello" zei Prince
"Hi" I zei very happy.
It gives me a red rose, and I zei "Thanks." And he zei "Come with me, I have something to toon u 'and I said" Ok. " I closed the door, he took me to a beautiful garden and romantic, full of red roses. Was there a guitar, he picks up the gitaar and started playing and singing for me. I was so happy. When he was finished, we both were smiling at each other, and he asked "what do u think you? and I smiled even meer and zei "I loved that song" and then give u a hand and took him to my garden where there was one of my piano, I put the red rose he gave me over the piano. I started playing a beautiful melody. At the end of a tune we were looking at each other smiling, shy, stayed that way for several minutes, until ...

Continued =)
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Sorry, there are some errors in this story.
batava posted een jaar geleden
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I know I should describe my feelings more.
batava posted een jaar geleden
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lame:/
magic001 posted een jaar geleden
 batava posted een jaar geleden
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Prince Michael Jackson Antwoorden

la-la-la-45 said:
This one was a lot better.A couple of meer things though.(They weren't really in this one but I feel the need to tell u this.)
-Try not to start sentences with and of but.If you're going to use them for the beginning of a sentence,try to find a way to combine that sentence with the one before it and put a comma before and of but.
-A while ago,my english teacher at school zei not to use it a lot,try to be meer specific.(I didn't notice that at all in this chapter but it might help in later chapters.)
This chapter was really good.There were meer details which helped.Keep up the good work!
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posted een jaar geleden 
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Thanks
batava posted een jaar geleden
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Thank u very mutch
batava posted een jaar geleden
paloma97ppb said:
I like this one! but lol try not to use much "...."
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agreed
dsgt5 posted een jaar geleden
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try to make the plot thicker.
pippi713713 posted een jaar geleden
PrinceMJluv said:
This is such a disney princess story.... lame
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posted een jaar geleden 
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No...
batava posted een jaar geleden
dsgt5 said:
this is cool but a little 2 romantic.... If a guy were to take me to a garden full of red roses, i would be blinded door the redness. And if a guy were to sing to me while in the blindness,i would say "no..no dude, just stop.." lol i would feel very uncomfortable having a guy just looking at me while singing, i would be looking the other way.. even if he was good looking (just something i would do)
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lol
PrinceMJluv posted een jaar geleden
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... =D
batava posted een jaar geleden
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