Funny Letter Maker

Dear Eva,
I don't really know how to tell u this, but You're a leprechaun. I think I realized it When your dog humped my leg At the mental hospital and I saw u Drive over Your "My Little Pony" collection. I'm sure you're Cowardly enough to understand How awful u are. I'm returning The divan, bank cushions to you, but I'll keep Your neighbors dog as a memory. u should also know that I Get sick when I think of your feet and Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird.
Go melk a cow
Elli

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xDDD

Dear Spencer,
I don't really know how to tell u this, but you're a leprechaun. I think I realized it when I tripped on pinda boter in your car and I saw u pull the clothes off the Catholic Priest.
I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that your driving sucks. I'm returning the divan, bank cushions to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. u should also know that I never will forget that night and the apartment building is on fire.Go melk a cow,
Tess

dear Louisa
I don't really know how to tell u this, but our romance is over
I think I realized it When your dog humped my leg At the mental hospital.
and I saw u hit on my boyfriend.
I'm sure you're sterile enough to understand How awful u are.
I'm returning Your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep Your glass eye as a memory.
u should also know that I Hate your cooking and u ruined my attempts at another world war.
Go drown yourself!

Dear Freddy,
I don't really know how to tell u this, but the regenboog hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think I realized it when u smacked my ezel in your apartment and I saw u pull the clothes off the catholic priest. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that u need a sex change. I'm returning the divan, bank cushions to you, but I'll keep your mom as a memory. u should also know that I im scratching my but as u read this and go melk a cow.

Dear leah,
I don't really know how to tell u this, but Our romance is over. I think I realized it Last jaar when u peed your pants At the mental hospital
and I saw u Hit on Your "My Little Pony" collection. I'm sure you're shamed enough to understand That u need a sex-change. I'm returning Your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep Your virginity as a memory. u should also know that I am better off without u and I'm scratching my butt as u read this.
Best of luck on the sex change
ami

dear the voices in my head
I don't really know how to tell u this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it Last jaar when u peed your pants At the Elton John concert and I saw u Carve your initials into My salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're Scarred enough to understand That your driving sucks. I'm returning The divan, bank cushions to you, but I'll keep Your neighbors dog as a memory. u should also know that I Love your sweet, sweet @$$ and The apartment building is on fire.

Dear,Mom (XDD Oh lord)
I don't really know how to tell u this, but The mafia wants you. I think I realized it When we skinny dipped in the bathtub At the mental hospital and I saw u Sit on Your "My Little Pony" collection. I'm sure you're Middle-class enough to understand That your driving sucks. I'm returning The divan, bank cushions to you, but I'll keep Your virginity as a memory. u should also know that I am better off without u and u ruined my attempts at another world war.
Best of luck on the sex change,
Aydan :3

Dear Jeff,
I don't really know how to tell u this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when your dog humped my leg under a straat light and I saw u hit on the Catholic Priest. I'm sure you're high enough to understand that u need a sex-change. I'm returning your pet rock to you, but I'll keep your neighbors dog as a memory. u should also know that I will try to forget that u broke my hart-, hart and your cucumber-fetishism is weird.
Best of luck on the sex change

Dear Mother, I don't really know how to tell u this, but I'm in love with your cat I think I realized it When u put cuffs on me Outside of your office, and i saw u Drive over The Catholic Priest. I'm sure you're a Cowardly enough to understand That your driving sucks. I am returning Your toe ring to you, but i'll keep Your neighbors dog as a memory. u should also know that I Get sick when I think of your feet and u should stop picking your nose.

Love always

Rosel

Dear My weird friend
I don't really know how to tell u this, but The mafia wants u I think I realized it When your dwarf bit me Outside of your office and I saw u Hit on My illegitimate child in Ghana . I'm sure you're Sterile enough to understand That I get turned on only door garbage men. I'm returning Your toe ring to you, but I'll keep Your credit cards as a memory. u should also know that I Mocked u behind your back constantly and u ruined my attempts at another world war.
Go melk a cow

Dear Mom,
I don't really know how to tell u this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me in your car and I saw u castrate the olifant in the corner. I'm sure you're masochistic enough to understand that your driving sucks. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your neighbour's dog as a memory. u should also know that I told my psychiatrist about the bruises and u should stop picking your nose.
Go melk a cow.

OMG, she has a romance with me? O_O
*is in double shock and faints*

Dear Jaden,
I don't really know how to tell u this, but the regenboog hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in the bathtub at the mental hospital and I saw u pull the clothes off my illegitimate child in Ghana. I'm sure you're high enough to understand the middle-east is planning their revenge on u . I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. u should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ezel and u ruined my attempts at another world war.
Please, don't lick my inner thighs anymore
Ivan

Dear Dominick,
I don't really know how to tell u this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it When I saw the purple monkey At the Elton John concert and I saw u sit on My salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're sterile enough to understand That I may pee my pants. I'm returning the divan, bank cushions to you, but I'll keep The results of that blood-sample as a memory. u should also know that I Told in my confession today about the moose poaching and I love Oprah.
Please, don't lick my inner thighs anymore,
Ass-Kicker

Dear Austin,
I don't really know how to tell u this, but our socks don't match. I think I realized it when I quoted Forrest Gump in your car and I saw u carve your initials into your "My Little Pony" collection. I'm sure you're masochistic enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. u should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ezel and I love Oprah.
Please, don't lick my inner thighs anymore.
Taylor-Rae

mine : dear harry i dont really know how to tell u this but your a leprechaun , i think i realised it when we skinny dripped in the bath tub , at the mental hospital . And i saw u drive over the olifant in the corner , i'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that santa doesn't exist . im returning the pictures from vegas to u , but i'll keep the results of the blood-sample as a memory . u should also know that i love your sweet sweet ezel . And u should stop picking your nose . go melk a cow,
crona .





some person i met : dear nathan i dont really know how to tell u this but our socks dont match . i think i realised it when we skinny dripped in the bathtub at the mental hospital and i saw u sit on your my little pony collection , im sure you're open enough to understand how awful u are , im returning the pictures from vegas to u , but i'll keep u foto with the moostace drawn on it as a memory . u should also know that i love your sweet sweet ezel . and u ruined my attempts at another world war , please dont hurt me,
chloe .

what?

Dear Journee,

I don't really know how to tell u this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when I finally changed my underwear in a clown suit and I saw u put whipped cream on the olifant in the corner. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand That I get turned on only door garbage men. I'm returning your car to you, but I'll keep your glass eye as a memory. u should also know that I told in my confession today about the moose poaching and I have a passionate interest for mice.
Go melk a cow,
Panda-Hero

to much complining