tell me a joke please?

I love this one:

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.

One dag the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF u STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE meer TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

The Teacher fainted.

How do crazy people travel?
They take the psycho-path!


I know it sucks....lol

Knock... Knock
Who's there?
apple
appel, apple who
apple
appel, apple who
apple
appel, apple WHO?
BANNANA!
ok...
*eyeryone laughs*

There were 5 people on a plane.
The president. The first lady. A Boy Scout. The pilot. And a random guy, I guess he could be the security guard.

Something went wrong with the controls so the pilot zei they would have to jump off the plane with the parachutes.

The problem was that there were only 4 parachutes and 5 people.
So the first lady grabs a parachute and jumps. The president grabs one and jumps. After they are off the plane, the pilot looks on the floor as he and the Boy Scout are about to hook up their gear together and says,
"Wait a minute. There were only 4 parachutes and the first lady and the president both took one, so why are there 3 parachutes and not 2?"
The Boy Scout looks up at the pilot and smiles, "The president took my backpack."

That awkward moment when Selena Gomez tells "Who Says your not perfect" and Miley antwoorden with "NOBODY'S PERFECT"

The icecream joke

I scream
U scream
then the cops come
Why r u screaming?
Cuz of Icecream
then the cops arrest the icecream