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posted by coolkatstar
I found this on the internet :P

part I
Everybody who has a dog calls it "Rover" of "Boy"; I called mine "Sex". Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I wanted to have a license for Sex. He zei "I'd like to have one too." Then I zei "But this is a dog". He zei he didn't care want she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He zei I must have been quite a kid.

Then when I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He zei every room in the hotel was for sex. I zei "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at nights." He zei "Me too."


Part II
One dag I entered Sex in a contest, but before before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was hanging around. I told him that I planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold tickets of my own. "But u don't understand," I said, "I hope to have sex on TV." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and me separated, we went to court to fight over the custody rights of the dog. I zei "Your honor, I had Sex before we were married." The judge zei "me too." Then I told him that after I married Sex left me. The judge zei "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking for him around town. A cop came over and asked me, "What are u doing in this dark alley at 4 in the morning?" I zei "I'm looking for sex." My case comes up on Friday.
added by sapherequeen
added by shiriny
added by IDDfan
Source: google
added by fatoshleo
added by Avatarzan
Source: a few meer to go, heehee!
added by Saint_and_Fang
posted by nmdis
"Remember December"


I feel a seperation coming on
'Cause I know u want to be moving on
I wish it would snow tonight
You'd pull me in, avoid a fight
'Cause I feel a seperation coming on
Just prove, that there's nothing left to try
'Cause the truth, I'd rather we just both deny
u kissed me with those open eyes
It says so much, it's no suprise
To you, but I've got something left inside

Don't surrender, surrender, surrender
Please remember, remember, December
We were so in love back then,
Now you're listening
To what they say
Don't go that way
Remember, remember, December
Please remember,...
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posted by Draculaura10
HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?




This is hysterical. u have to try this. It is absolutely true. I guess there
are some things that the brain cannot handle.




HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?



You have to try this please, it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe this!!!

It is from an orthopedic surgeon................This will boggle your mind

and it will keep u trying over and over again to see if u can outsmart
your foot, but, u can't. It's pre-programmed in your brain!


1). Without anyone watching u (they will think u are GOOFY....) and
while sitting at your bureau in front...
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posted by Gangster-Girl
- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a bed of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your hoofdkussen, kussen X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of water
- Calmly have a nervous...
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posted by spunkyonyx
Your right lung is smaller than your left lung to make room for your heart.

No piece of square dry paper can be folded meer than 7 times in half!

A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein!

Over 2500 left handed people a jaar are killed from using products made for right handed people!

There are meer than 10 million bricks in the Empire State Building!

If u counted 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion!

Taphephobia is the fear of being buried alive!

A krokodil always grows new teeth to replace the old teeth!

The sun is 330,330 times...
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posted by Tayloraddict-1
On tons of clubs i see a vraag saying "Can u plz be a fan of me?" Its was ok at first then i just saw it everywhere and i thought it was just getting annoying.All I see on random is Can u plz be my fan? Just filling up my updates meer and meer everyday.
Ive seen people with 200 of meer fans asking Can u fan me plz i really need some meer fans. Like this is not a competition to see who will get the meer fans its just life XD And u gotta earn your fans because i had to earn my fans and look at me now i have over 600 fans. I earned all of em.
Its not fair to us other fanpoppers who werked...
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posted by Jeffersonian
Of 8th grade through College 'student reports':


Ancient Egypt was inhabited door mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an appel, apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

Moses led the hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened brood which is brood made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments....
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added by HarleyQuinn1
added by Ranty-cat
Source: Doge meme
added by Blaze1213IsBack
posted by SilentForce
A very sad event has happened today.Lefteris Theodosios Notaras(why must his name be so long?) has died heroically while protecting a hot blonde girl with huge tits from demonic forces.
He was a lot of things:The meme god,the waifu overlord,the martial artist,the chivalrous pervert but above all a good fellow that will be missed forever
REST IN spaghetti NEVER FORGETTI

'Now lets all sing this song in honour of him like he would want us to do.*Breathes deeply*:
''I'm like yo
They took my long lost bro Lefteris
Like no
Oh my god woah
You shot bae
"Lefteris! Are u okay Lefteris?"
No he was dead
You took...
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added by ShadowFan100
added by SilentForce