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When you're happy and u know it bomb Iraq
If u cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.

If u never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If u think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
(And he tried to kill your dad),
Bomb Iraq.

If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think someone's dismissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.

If your corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.

It's 'pre-emptive non-aggression', bomb Iraq.
Let's prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see,
And that's good enough for me
'Cos it's all the proof I need
Bomb Iraq.

Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We'll call it treason,
Let's make war not love this season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.


Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars,
the beautiful sky and the endless horizon
and suddenly I thought where the fuck is my roof?

To all medics: As from may 2001 viagra will only be available from the pharmacy under its chemical name. Please ask for ……….
Mycoxaflopin    

Humpty dumpty fucked a fat whore,
Humpty dumpty fell on the floor,
All the kings horses
and all the kings men bent the teef over
and fucked her again

Sing a song of syphillis
a fanny fulla crabs
four and twenty blackheads twice as many scabs,
when the scabs pop open
the heads begin to sing
wasn't it a minging cunt to stick your penis in

It's not the length its not the size
its how many times u can make it rise

Roses are red Violets are blue
I have crabs and now so do you


(for Mobile phone)
Do u take me 2 b ur lawful wedded text m8,
2 have & 2 hold 4 dirty jokes & saucy quotes,
through poor reception & no signal,
until low battery do us part.

Last night i wanted u
I needed u so badly it hurt.
I wanted you
inside me to work your magic on me
but i couldn't find u
………… stupid paracetamol

Sex is a sin,
sins are forbidden,
sins are forgiven
so get stuck in

I love the way it rubs against my soft roze flesh
and creates a foamy liquid
as it thrusts in and out up and down
I can't wait for the volgende time
I love my toothbrush

Twinkle, twinkle, massive knob.
Mary likes it in her gob
but when she feels that certaim twitch
she pulls it out the spiteful bitch.

Three blond MEN are stranded on one side of a wide river, and don't know how to get across.
The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to kruis the river, so God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across.
The seconde man prays to God to make him even smarter, so God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boot and rows across.
Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turns him into a woman and he walks across the bridge

(for a mobile phone)
You're so sexy, u drive me insane.
u fuck me so hard I'm always in pain.
Your sexy voice puts in slumber.
Oh fuck I'm sorry I've got the wrong number...

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
whos the fairest of them all?
The mirror laughed and gave a grunt,
Its not you, u ugly cunt!
added by ShadowFan100
added by SilentForce
added by TheLefteris24
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see.


Frank: A trailer?
Martha: What do we need a trailer for?
Sonic: Advertising.
Sean: Sonic is right. I want people to know about my operations.
Frank: What operations?
Guy: Our operations to defeat the N.V.A!
U.S Ponies: *Holding M16's with bayonets* Oorah!
Sean: No no, a different type of operation. Observe.

Song: link

Coming soon to this very club.


Sean: *Going 75 miles an uur with seven coaches*

Be sure to check out Trainz on the Thomas The Tank Engine club.

Victoria: *Double heading a freight train with...
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added by TheLefteris24
posted by Windrises
Notes: Credit goes to the creators and owners of Game of Thrones. This fan story is meant for comedy so please don't take it seriously.

Sansa Stark walked outside the kingdom. It was late in the morning, but she was already tired.

Tyrion walked to her and zei "How's it going?"

She zei "Bad and I won't tell u why." Tyrion could tell she was in a bad mood so he walked away.

She felt like talking to nobody, but Jon Snow showed up. She growled.

Jon Snow zei "I have sad news. Grand Maester Pycelle got killed."

She sarcastically zei "I'm going to miss that creepy old guy."

Jon zei "Sister...
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added by PsychoTeddy
Source: Sugar Glider
I'm writing this artikel because this has been in my mind for so long that I need to bring this up sooner of later. Whenever people stated Shou Tucker as a worst father ever, I immediately thought of this guy. Meet Doctor Mar Londo, the father of Brin Londo, who is commonly known as Timber Wolf. Dr. Londo is from the comic book series called "Legion of Super-Heroes". I'm going to analyze his actions in the cartoon adaption and then I'll give my reason why he's worse than Shou Tucker, in my opinion at least.

In the episode "Timber Wolf", in the planet "Rawl", Dr. Londo dragged his own son, Brin,...
continue reading...
added by ace2000
added by AnxiousSoul
Source: tumblr-l8m0vmZ33o1qc2zn8o1-1280.jpg
added by ace2000
added by ace2000
posted by CokeTheUmbreon
 Motherfucking animals! -Martin Garrix
Motherfucking animals! -Martin Garrix
Hey, Fanpoppers! CokeTheUmbreon here, and I'm gonna tell u my favoriete yo mama jokes! Please note that I don't own most of these. The jokes I do own will have a random emoji door dem. I was bored thnx to the inactivity and my friend not being around to RP with me today.

P.S. The random emojis neither the Umbreon pics will fit the theme of the jokes.

Anyways, let's get it on!

Yo mama so fat when she walks her love handles hit the quan. 😎

Yo mama so stank they use her bathwater as chemical weapons.

Yo mama so fat when she outweighs Groudon. 😈

Yo mama so ugly she gave Darkrai nightmares.

Yo mama...
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added by Eula2003
added by ace2000
posted by pinkydoll
1-Dolphin sleeps with one eye open.

2-"silent" and "listen" use exactly the same letters.

3-An octopus has two hearts

4-Bull frogs do not sleep.

5-There are meer chickens than human in the world.

6-flamingos gets their distinctive color from the food they eat.

7-The hair of polar beer is not white it's transparent.

8-Turtles can breathe through their rear-rends

9-The sun comprises 99% of total mass of our solar system.

10-Butterflies taste with their feet.

11-Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

12-there are about 550 hairs in each of your eyebrow.

13-A slak can sleep for 3 years.

14-A human eye can distinguish 10 million different colors.

15-Women blink their eyes twice than men.
added by Mollymolata
added by Mollymolata
posted by alice1919119
This 15 jaar old girl used to maintain a common diary with her 13 jaar old best friend in which they wrote how they felt about each other and their friendship. When she discovered that her friend who had been a patient of clinical depression had tried to kill herself, she wrote this in the diary and it brought her best friend to tears...
The names have been changed as per author's request...


November 13

Dear Amira,

K so... without going on about any trivial stuff this time, u should know that I've meer than you'd expect to say about stuff I usually don't go on about on phone of in person......
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added by Mollymolata