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posted by x-menobsessed26
Bill Gates Goes to Heaven
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up door St. Peter.

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send u to Heaven of Hell. After all, u enormously helped society door putting a computer in almost every home pagina in America, yet u also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let u decide where u want to go."

Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?"

St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let u visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."

"Fine, but where should I go first?"

"I'll leave that up to you."

"Okay then," zei Bill, "Let's try Hell first."

So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy strand with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.

"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I really want to see heaven!"

"Fine," zei St. Peter, and off they went.

Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.

Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.

"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.

"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as u desire."

So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured door demons.

"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.

Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???

"That was a demo," replied St. Peter
(THIS artikel IS A JOKE. CALM DOWN MATES. ENJOY :D)

*Cough* I WANNA HANG MYSELF

SO how's it goin' Internet, everyone getting along? It's good to be home pagina again. :)

Typical Internet Douche: WHO U CALLIN' A WINY BICH U BICH >:(

I was right.....I AM home. :P

So I'm pretty sure that it's common fucking sense at this point that a hilariously large minority of the internet seem to either be five years old, have never gone to school, of are just mindless retarded sadists who jack off to others pain using grammar worse than that of a goddamn cheese grater.

And today, I'm going to be one of those sadists....
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#1: BLACK FIN:
30 years ago, Seaworld wasn't exactly at it's brightest of lights. As a film known as "Black Fin" reveals the tragic truth of the largest known, captive Orca.. tilikum.
The film reveals Tilikum was captured near Iceland in November of 1983, over 30 years ago. At only 2 years old, when he was approximately 13 feet long, he was torn away from his family and ocean home.
And, long story short, he might of been bullied door the other Orcas.
This eventually leading to Tilikum killing 3 trainers.
The most famish being the violent death of Dawn Brancheau.
It's believed Tilikum was acting very...
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added by ace2000
I'm no good at writing artikels so I decided to just make a lijst from the pictures. I made a lijst like this once before when I used to be on Deviantart but some of my opinions have changed since then. Remember that this is a countdown, meaning that number one is the most beautiful. I hope u like it but this is just my opinion so be polite.
 10. Judy Garland
10. Judy Garland
 9. Grace Kelly
9. Grace Kelly
 8. Yvonne DeCarlo
8. Yvonne DeCarlo
 7. Natalie Wood
7. Natalie Wood
 6. Marilyn Monroe
6. Marilyn Monroe
 5. Gene Tierney
5. Gene Tierney
 4. Ava Gardner
4. Ava Gardner
 3. Capucine
3. Capucine
 2. Pier Angeli
2. Pier Angeli
 1. Sharon Tate
1. Sharon Tate
added by nmdis
added by 0YouCanFly0
added by Mollymolata
added by tanyya
added by kicksomebut23
added by tanyya
added by shaneoohmac13
Don't mess with this monkey.

Footage from a security camera is zei to toon a young man in Shimla, India, giving the finger to one of the area's famously belligerent monkeys. And as u might expect, the monkey is having none of it.

It drop kicks the man right in the head, knocking him to the ground.

The man, however, appears to be OK after the attack as he gets up and walks off.

Shimla's monkeys are known to cause problems for both tourists and locals visiting the Jakhoo temple, which is dedicated to the monkey god Hanuman.

"The monkeys of Shimla are not pleasant animals, they roam around in gangs...
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added by tanyya
#5: PRINCESS LUNA:
Princess Luna has a problems that a lot of us have. Family problems for the most part. She's always in the shadow of her sister. She's not appreciated for what she does. She's an lone wolf, alone for the most part. Lot of ponies judge her from her past and not what she is now. Unable to except her new self..

#4: TWILIGHT SPARKLE:
I never noticed at the time.
But she reminded me a bit of myself.
Never really having the time for friends.
Till I met them..

#3: ZUKO: THE LAST AIRBUNDER:
Zuko feels like an real person who goes through a lot in the world. His father abandoning him from...
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posted by GDragon612
1) Go into a phone store, look at the sales person, hold out a banaan and tell them u want to upgrade to an apple.

2) On New Years Eve at 11: 55 order a pizza then at 12:01, New
Year's day, call and complain I ordered this last year!

3) Go into a public restroom then after a few seconds, yell "LET IT GO! LET IT GO! CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE!" then drop something heavy into the toilet.

4) Order a pizza 3 minuten before new jaar and when it comes say "I ordered this a darn jaar ago" and scream in frustration.

5) Go into a supermarket, and in the produce section, find a pineapple. Grab it and shake...
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#1: JASON BRODY:
Starting off as your average immature dare devil. But then Vaas kidnapped him and his brother Grant.. And during their escape Vaas coldly murders poor Grant and Jason is unable to save the poor guy. This being being one of them main reasons Jason tracks down and kills Vaas, though not too many sympathize the death of Vaas, despite how badass he is.
Not only that but Jason becomes a unstoppable force do to the harsh ways of the island destroying both his innocence, and even his sanity.
But Jason uses this, not for bad, but for the sole purpose of rescuing his vrienden and family...
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(Hello there! If you're new to this series, here's the basics. I take commentaren asking vragen from the last episode and answer them in the volgende article, but with Robotnik! As a result you'll see some pretty funny stuff. XD Hope u enjoy our first episode of Ask Dr. Robotnik!)

But before we begin, special shout-outs to the people who left commentaren in the last article! (Link to the artikel is here: link)

RainSoul, kicksomebut23, PlazmaKiller59, sonicfan94, windwakerguy430, LGYCE, stella2015, MalloMar, ntmfan0707, and of course, me! Thanks for commenting guys!

And now, our feature presentation!...
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added by new2