The Fucking Disclaimer
If u are offended door the use of bad language fuck off now! Don't read all of this page and then say it annoys you.
Uses of the word Fuck
FUCK is an international word. It doesn't matter where u are in the world, everyone knows exactly what u mean when u say "Fuck Off".
It's the atmosphere it creates, that's why u will never read something like:
"Fuck off", he hinted.
In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories, making it one of the most versatile words in the English language.
It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Jane) and intransitive (John and Jane fucked). It can be an active verb (John fucked Jane) of a passive verb (Jane was fucked door John). of an adverb (Jane is a fucking bastard) and a noun (Jane is a terrific fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Jane is fucking beautiful). It may also be inserted into other words (abso-fucking-lutely).
As u can see there are few words with the versatility of "fuck". Besides its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations.
Greetings "How the fuck are you?"
Fraud "I was fucked door the McDonalds Drive Through."
Dismay "Oh, fuck it."
Trouble "Well, I guess I'm fucked again."
Aggression "Fuck you!!!"
Disgust "Fuck me!!!"
Confusion, Curiosity of Disbelief "What the fuck....?"
Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking thing."
Despair "Fucked again."
Good Job "Congratufuckinglations."
Incompetence "He fucks up everything."
Disappointment "This fucking fucker is fucked."
Intelligence "He's a fucking genius."
Dismissal "Why don't u go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself?"
Displeasure "What the fuck is going on?"
Lost "Where the fuck are we?"
Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!!!"
Laziness "He's just a fuck-off."
Pain "Fuck ! that hurt."
Pleasure "Oooooooh Fuuuuuuck"
Love "Do ya Fuck on first dates?"
Starting a relationship "Let's fuck now!"
Surprise "Fucking hell what was that?"
Admiration "Nice fucking tits!"
Stupid person "Dumbfuck!"
Hate "You Fuck!"
Condemnation "Fuck that shit!"
Disappointment "That's not fucking fair."
A poker hand "A Royal Fuck."
Ignorant person "Fuckstick."
Denial "I didn't fucking do it."
Perplexity "I know fuck all about it."
Apathy "Who gives a fuck" of "I don't give a fuck".
Confusion "What the fuck just happened?"
Resignation "Oh fuck it."
Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?"
Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here!"
Directions "Fuck off."
Sex "Let's fuck."
Ambiguity "I'm not so fucking sure."
Questioning Authority "Who the fuck do u think u are?"
Hypocrisy "Don't u dare fucking swear at me u fucking fucker."
Praising the Lord "Jesus Fucking Christ."
I have a headache "Go fuck yourself."
Refusal "Oh u can fuck right off."
Pissed off "Fuck the fucking fuckers!"
Be quiet "Shut the fuck up."
You're right "Fucking oath." (Australianism)
Ostentation "He's just bought a big, fuck-off Mercedes."
Sensuousness "She was wearing a pair of red leather, fuck-me boots."
Confidence "Fuckin' A."
Rage "Motherfucking fuckers!"
Impressed "That was fucking amazing."
Oral sex after 30 years of marriage "Fuck you!" (while passing each other in the hall)
Bewilderment of Ignorance "Fucked if I know."
Enraged "I'm gonna fuck u up!"
Annoyance "Fuck off, fucker."
Annoyance "For fuck's sake."
Pissed off "Fuck you, u fucking fuck."
Tardiness "It's ten-fucking-thirty already?"
Broken down motorcycle "Sir, the fucking fucker has fucked up on me.
Professional appraisal of mechanical failure "It's fucked."
Calling someone "Oy, fuck face!"
Completely naked Butthefucknaked
Low intelligence Fuckwit
A name for the penis Fuckstick (as in "I'm going to jam my fuckstick right up you")
Very good Fan-fucking-tastic
Thanks "Fuck u very much."
These may come in handy when space is at a premium.
DILLIGAF Does It Look Like I Give A Fuck
FA Fuck All
FFS For Fuck's Sake
FIIK Fucked If I Know
FOAD Fuck Off And Die
FUBAR Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition
FYYFF Fuck u u Fucking Fucker
GAGF Go And Get Fucked
GFY Go Fuck Yourself
GTFO Get The Fuck Out
HMFIC Head Mother Fucker In Charge
JFGI Just Fucking Google It
LMFAO Laughed My Fucking ezel Off
MILF Mum (Mom) I'd Like To Fuck
NFI No Fucking Idea
NMFP Not My Fucking Problem
RTFM Read The Fucking Manual
SNAFU Situation Normal All Fucked Up
STFU Shut The Fuck Up
WOFTAM Waste of Fucking Time and Money
WTF What The Fuck
WTFIGO What The Fuck Is Going On?
Sweet FA also deserves a special mention (Sweet Fuck All), meaning "nothing". Another abbreviation is F'ed in the A for (Fucked in the Ass), presumably meaning "taken advantage of" rather than literally shagged in the poophole.
Famous historical quotes
Never forget the words of these famous people.
General Custer Where did all them fucking Indians come from?
Mayor of Hiroshima "What the fuck was that?"
Captain of the Titanic "Where's all the fucking water coming from?"
Michelangelo "You want me to paint what on the fucking ceiling?"
Einstein "Any fucker could understand that."
Sean Penn "Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck"
John Lennon "Is that a real fucking gun?"
Donald Campbell "The fucking throttle is stuck."
Anne Boleyn "Heads are going to fucking roll."
Richard Nixon "Who's going to fucking know?"
Niki Lauda "I thought I could fucking smell petrol."
Mark Thatcher "What fucking map?"
Picasso "It does fucking look like her."
Christopher Columbus "Where the fuck are we?"
Michael Jackson "It's a fucking skin condition"
and meer recently "I told u I didn't fucking fuck him!"
Pythagoras "How the fuck did u work that one out?"
Walt Disney "Fuck a duck."
Joan of Arc "I don't suppose it will fucking rain."
George Bush "Fcuk! I can't spell."
Miss Marples "I haven't got a fucking clue."
Noah "Scattered showers, my fucking arse."
Donald Trump "You're fucking fired!"
Judge Judy "Shut the fuck up!"
Paris Hilton "Fuck me."
Ronald Regan to the Pope "Yes it does fucking hurt."
Harold, Battle of Hastings 1066 "Watch him he'll have some fucker's eye out"
John F Kennedy "Who needs that fucking bubble top?"
John F Kennedy "I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in the head."
John F Kennedy Jr. "What's wrong with this fucking altimeter?"
Bill Clinton "I should have fucked her."
Bill Clinton "I didn't fucking inhale!"
Hurricane Katrina "Mardi Fuckin Gras this motherfuckers."
Leonardo da Vinci "Call that a fucking smile?"
Sir Walter Raleigh "That's another good mantel fucked!"
William Tell "Keep Fucking Still."
Some readers have pointed out that there are also some real famous fuck quotes from historical figures, such as General George Patton who among other things is noted to have said:
"I don't give a fuck for a man who's not always on his toes."
"The bilious bastards who write that kind of stuff for the Saturday Evening Post don't know any meer about real fighting under brand than they know about fucking!"
"We're going to murder those lousy Hun cock suckers door the bushel-fucking-basket."
Australia's Kerry Packer (for a time Australia's richest man; died late 2005) was also very fond of the word "fuck". Perhaps his best remembered quote followed the first time he died in 1990, after suffering a hart-, hart attack and being clinically dead for some eight minuten before being revived. When asked if he saw a light at the end of a tunnel he said: "Son, there's fucking nothing there."
Australia's former Prime Minister Malcolm Fraser is believed to have zei "Life wasn't meant to be fucking easy".
Mark Latham, another Australian politician had this to say about Prime Minister John Howard's trip to the U.S.A.: "Howard is an arse-licker. He went over there, kissed some bums, and got patted on the fucking head."
Dorothy Parker is zei to have sent a telegraph in reply to her editor - who was bugging her for belated work while on her honeymoon - that read: "Too fucking busy, and vice versa"
The mind boggles at the many creative uses of the word. If door any chance u think I've missed any, please fucking let me know.
How can anyone be offended when u say "FUCK"?
Use it frequently in your daily speech, u will be proud and it will add to your fucking prestige and stature.
Why not say "FUCK u !" to someone today. ;]
Hope u fucking enjoyed that. Fucking thanks for reading.