37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines
1. I wish u were a door so I could slam u all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do u work for UPS? I thought I saw u checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy u a drink of do u just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted bed Thrasher: have u seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make u the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and u can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish u were a pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride u all dag long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how u look when I'm naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings of the stairway to heaven?
14. u might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
15. Are those real?
16. u must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing u do with your tongue.
18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be u door morning.
19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
20. u know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
22. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name sherry Titsbottom?
23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
25. Do u believe in love at first sight of should I walk door again?
26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone zei u were looking for me.
27. My friend wants to know if u think I'M cute.
28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
29. My name isn't Elmo, but u can tickle me anytime u want to.
30. I know melk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have u been drinking?
31. If u were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't u like pizza?
33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home pagina without me.
34. Do u sleep on your stomach? Can I???
35. Do u wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
36. I lost my puppy. Can u help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get u out of these wet clothes.
1. I wish u were a door so I could slam u all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do u work for UPS? I thought I saw u checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy u a drink of do u just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted bed Thrasher: have u seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make u the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and u can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish u were a pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride u all dag long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how u look when I'm naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings of the stairway to heaven?
14. u might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
15. Are those real?
16. u must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing u do with your tongue.
18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be u door morning.
19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
20. u know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
22. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name sherry Titsbottom?
23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
25. Do u believe in love at first sight of should I walk door again?
26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone zei u were looking for me.
27. My friend wants to know if u think I'M cute.
28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
29. My name isn't Elmo, but u can tickle me anytime u want to.
30. I know melk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have u been drinking?
31. If u were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't u like pizza?
33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home pagina without me.
34. Do u sleep on your stomach? Can I???
35. Do u wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
36. I lost my puppy. Can u help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get u out of these wet clothes.
This prank doesn't need anything but a friend who understands dirty jokes and yourself.
You: Okay, say the word 'addicted' every time I pause, alright?
Friend: Okay.
You: Money...
Friend: Addicted.
You: TV...
Friend: Addicted.
You: Candy...
Friend: Addicted.
You: Hitting people in the face with an iron...
Friend: ...addicted...
By this point u need to come up with several different others to get them to barely even notice what they're "addicted" to.
You: Soda?
Friend: Addicted...
You: What hit u in the face last night?
Friend: Addicted...
The look that will come over their face will be absolutely priceless.
Try it out!
-Ray
You: Okay, say the word 'addicted' every time I pause, alright?
Friend: Okay.
You: Money...
Friend: Addicted.
You: TV...
Friend: Addicted.
You: Candy...
Friend: Addicted.
You: Hitting people in the face with an iron...
Friend: ...addicted...
By this point u need to come up with several different others to get them to barely even notice what they're "addicted" to.
You: Soda?
Friend: Addicted...
You: What hit u in the face last night?
Friend: Addicted...
The look that will come over their face will be absolutely priceless.
Try it out!
-Ray
I run my fastest
But still get beat.
I land on my head
When I should be on my feet.
I try to verplaats forward‚
But I am stuck in rewind.
Why do I keep at it?
I won't be left behind.
The harder I am thrown‚
The higher I bounce.
I give it my all‚
And that's all that counts.
In first place‚
Myself‚ I seldom find.
So I push to the limit-
I won't be left behind.
Some people tell me u can't‚
Some say don't.
Some simply give up.
I reply‚ I won't
The power is here‚
Locked away in my mind.
My perserverance is my excellence‚
I won't be left behind.
Make the best of each moment‚
The future is soon the past.
The meer I tell myself this‚
The less I come in last.
Throughout my competitions‚
I've learned what winning is about.
A plain and clear lesson-
Giving up is the wasy way out.
So every night before I go to bed‚
I hope in a small way I have shined.
Tomorrow is a brand-new day‚
And I won't be left behind.
This is not mine‚ it was written door Sara Nachtman
But still get beat.
I land on my head
When I should be on my feet.
I try to verplaats forward‚
But I am stuck in rewind.
Why do I keep at it?
I won't be left behind.
The harder I am thrown‚
The higher I bounce.
I give it my all‚
And that's all that counts.
In first place‚
Myself‚ I seldom find.
So I push to the limit-
I won't be left behind.
Some people tell me u can't‚
Some say don't.
Some simply give up.
I reply‚ I won't
The power is here‚
Locked away in my mind.
My perserverance is my excellence‚
I won't be left behind.
Make the best of each moment‚
The future is soon the past.
The meer I tell myself this‚
The less I come in last.
Throughout my competitions‚
I've learned what winning is about.
A plain and clear lesson-
Giving up is the wasy way out.
So every night before I go to bed‚
I hope in a small way I have shined.
Tomorrow is a brand-new day‚
And I won't be left behind.
This is not mine‚ it was written door Sara Nachtman