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posted by i_luv_Pelon_xxx
Its not finished yet but I'm gonna continue it...this is (will be) also avadable on my DA account

One day, a little girl named kaluri was at the zoo. She loved monkeys, she loved throwing the chips for them, but mostly attrackted seagulls and other un-monkey like flying pests. She loved turtals too, untill one farted on her and turned her insane. Right now, she is sitting in a mental heatbox in a mental home pagina for mental hoes and can't stop shaking her head from side to side and moving it round it a cirkel like some retarded freak. She also eats air, don't do drugs kids. This child is in here cos she got farted on stay away from turtal arses. This can fuck u up for life. The stench of the gas never leaves you. That's why she is insane and is a mental freak. She only eats chips now. And plays with a straw and has races with the straw to see who can shake the quickest. Of corse the retarded spazzek wins each time. All thanks to that zoo, stay away from there, its filthy. But meer likely all thanks to that turtle, jeez he must be proud. What did he ate? The kid is mental still, sat there shaking her head and eating fuckin chips. meer chips. meer chips. Lifes stock of chips. Then plays with her straw and runs at the uithangbord thinking she is getting somewhere and see's flying brains flying around and trys to catch them and she also "rides a snail" she is also known as mental jerkins. She also tried to eat an iphone 4 but failed, it didn't digest properly..now it rings from inside her and scares her. Doorbell. Nothing worse. Nothing meer to this child..jee..sounds like me when I have pancakes. She is always hyper, wow. Kaluri must be my sister..EEEEK..and the term bouncing off the walls is literal. She pysicly bounces of walls. She has one friend.its a tedy that's a headless pinguïn called flabbs pinguïn hahahehe.all the children are like this, demented chickens running round the corridoors screaming everytime some schoffel, hoe approches them. Spoon. If your not scared yet u should be. These children are capable of mass distruction. If the world ends later this jaar and your still alive, u know how it ended. Poor turtals..wait..NOOOOO XD o.O lolwut.

•they used to do school trips to this place before they realised that they found out that 13 of there students had turned insane.
Oh shit
Hold on
I think I'm insane
No I'm fine

Although being addicted to chips, kaluri can only draw carrots with glasses. Who owns this kid?! Wtf am I going on about?!?!
Kinda reminds me of one of my vrienden
....*evil laugh*....
Back to the muthafucka story!!!!!!!!!!!!!
XD o.O

Although kaluri does have one human friend. Pokalilly.
What u don't like the name pokalilly?...

*nyan cat music*
Stfu u
*shoots cat*

Pokalilly is a long gone friend. She's underground..somewhere. u see she liked moles..so she..*ahem cough cough ha ha*...dug a hole and didn't find her way back out cos the stuid mental schoffel, hoe popijerry filled the hole in. So pokalilly lives like a mole..digging tunnels..why doesn't she just dig up u ask? Cos she doesn't do up. We don't need to focus on her anyway she's. Your problem she's in the closet that's closest to you!!!! Say hi to her for me

Did I forget to tell you? Kaluri has a demon in her mental heatbox for mental hoes that only she can see. :) what has the world come to seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :•) OMFG that face looks like a snowman!!!!
Yes!! This songs scaring me
Ahhhahahahaha crys
Sometimes I like to lie on the floor and pretend I'm a carrot :D
Whoops wasn't ment to say that :#
Mwahhahaahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahhah evil laugh smog evil laugh hhahhahahahahahahahhaha

OMFG its jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!! on southpark :) hahahahaha I goottt chhoooooooo :D

This is getting randomly out of hand..brb I want a cookie..
Tik tok tik tok

Ok something needs to happen...
We now go over to cheesyTOTs332 for a live update on the mental home pagina for mental hoes with mental heatboxs to calm the mental hoes down. Over to u cheesyTOTs332

Yes thank u abby we will now go inside.
*knocks on mental home pagina door, little cute child answers*
Little child: HI IS u THE CANDYMAN!!?!!?!!


Not a good start. *walks in* well as u can see its very nice in here, we are in a normal room for now...
*walks into the mental corridoor*
Oh my good god *beep* I'm getting the *beep* out of this *beeeep* place!!!!!!!
Just joken
*approches young lonely child* hello there.

Young child:
Oyajsksaekbiomgkfiogvjghiwoeuivbdfalcowoeribgngwogvibhutrswlckghjelwiogtuvbjslkalfltiwujrtuy jdnfkaslgvkrei

((That was fun to type))

Why do they all blow up?! Well let's go and see kaluri....
I am stood outside kaluri's mental heatbox for mental hoes. Let's knock on her door
*knock knock*
*kaluri answers*
Ohh well arnt u cute!

Kaluri: come bla bla come in see my drawflings blablabla meet flabby pinguïn hahahehe hahahaahahahahahaha bla bla bla prrrrrrbabaaaaaa. Weeee! *points at paper*

Isn't she adorbs?!
*looks at paper*
Awww is that your teddy..with..no head..


Yeah! Flabby pinguïn hahahehe!!! I chewed his head off then ate it!!
*ringing noise*
Excuse me
*burps and iphone comes out of her mouth*

*gets hit door slobber covered flabby pinguïn hahahehe*

Me and muma
*shows drawing of 'her' and 'her mum'...sick figures*

Oh..that's cut- huh?!

*kaluri puts drawing in her mouth and chews it and spits it back out*

*smiles and walks sideways to the uithangbord and carrys on walking even tho she is at the wall*

So kaluri..how old are u sweetheart?

Ninety eight million five thousand sixty three trillion gazabillion with a snotty nose *sneezy and a different species of snot comes out of her nose*

Insane children....ahhhhh

CheesyTOTs332: I have to go now kaluri! Say bye to the world.
*kaluri pulls out shotgun and shoots cheesyTOTs332 and the camera falls on the side*


what u want us to wait for you?


*camera goes back to kaluri and she is holding up two puppy teddys that she has sewn the ears together on*

Look at my creation world!! If u sew to puppies ears together it can cause head truma's, STD's, explosive dhiaria and a sudden attraction to llama's. I drink torine!!
*drinks torine*
Now I'm pregnant!

*camera goes off*

And that was the recen-
*news theme tune*
*i come back on the screen*
As I was saying its our recent update on kaluri...I don't think we will ever get another update from CheesyTOTs332
Oh well
Now u can do it
*news theme tune, screen goes black and me in the background*

*skips to an old granny watching the news show*

What they say?

((Skips back to the origenal story))

Oh yeah I forgot to tell u that she has a shotgun whoops..oh well u will live hopefully!!!!!!!!!

Kaluri loves chips, she is- oh I have already told you? Well its time for the adver-
*news toon goes off*
hallo I was talking
*adverts come on*

((Advert 1))fudge...fudge...FUDGE...FUUDGE...FUUUUUDGEEE...FUUUUUUUUDGGGEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not fudge
On sale now

((Advert two))
Come to mc donalds!!! Its the best on the highway!!!
*person walks in*
Uh yeah, burger dude, I want a burger and chips please
*throws burger at man*
Oi!! I'm not having that service!!! Ah..where's me chips?
*throws chips at person*
Thank u
Mc Donalds! Best place to eat in the universe!!!!!!

((Advert 3))
*duck from almost naked animals comes on the screen with a shed*
I heard u were looking for a shed. Buy a shed then. This is my shed. Where all of your dreams come true. If they involve a shed.

((Advert 4))
*mister hankey comes on the screen*
hallo kids
I'm mister hankey
The christmas poo
Small and brown
I come from you

Don't forget to flush the toilet when u use it! Very important information this kids!

((Advert 5))
Are u planning to take over the world? If u are then u will need this started pack.
It inclueds
A nuclier bomb the size of venus
108642256248 brand crackers and 1 lighter for them
And your very own invader zim from invader zim!

No subject entended, don't actully set the bomb off and be aware that when u touch the bomb it goes off, shaken up in the delivery ya know.
*woman touches bomb and the earth blows up*


*on the moon*
Alien no 1: did u hear that?!
Alen no 2: no...

*you turn your tv off thinking the toon is pathetic u say the toon is pathetic*

You: the toon is pathetic

*good! Now u turn around and.......wait I need a cookie....*
posted by x-menobsessed26
Useful Hawaiian Phrases
On the Plane
My how your perfume fills the entire cabin!
'A'ala maoli keia wahi o kakou i kau wai 'ala kuikawa!

If I snore, I would like to apologize in advance
Ke nono au, e kala mua mai, i keia manawa ho'i.

I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal
Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.

Only six dollars for a headset? Why thats only three dollars per ear!
Eono kala no ka ho'olohe lekio? 'O ia ho'i, 'ekolu wale no kala o kahi pepeiao!

Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name
E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia 'o Severe...
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posted by WildTiger
GIrls only (or gay guys..) yea both So u have to read this now....haha for girls eyes only here all girls! hallo girls! IF YOU'RE A BOY, LEAVE THIS CUZ IT RUINS EVERYTHING GIRL TALK: Did u know kissing is healthy. It's good to cry. Chicken soep actually makes u feel better. 94% of boys would love it if u sent them flowers. Lying is actually unhealthy. Only apply mascara to your top, boven lashes. It's actually true, boys DO insult u when they like you! 89% of guys want u to make the 1st move. Ya but 99.99% of girls want guys to make the first move. Chocolate will make u feel better! Most...
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posted by BlackSunshine
Something I got in an e-mail. Still pretty funny. Especially since I've done a few...

1. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open door themselves.

2. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call u Admiral.

3. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until u hear the penny u dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

4. Do Tai Chi exercises.

5. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

6. Meow occasionally....
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posted by TruBerries
Reminder: Please don't misunderstand my tone when I write things. If I were being smart of yelling, I'd be killing the badges right now(lol) but I'm just being real. That's just who I am.

All right, it seems as though every maand there's someone posting a picture of themselves in a vraag asking 'am I pretty', 'rate me from 1-10', of whatever and I must admit, it's extremely annoying. Fanpop is not the place to be posting pictures of yourselves on here knowing that everyone's profiel is vulnerable for the taking. I mean it's your decision if u want to do that, but I believe it's not safe...
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posted by smileypop9
Million has 6 zeros
Billion has 9 zeros
Trillion has 12 zeros
Quadrillion has 15 zeros
Quintillion has 18 zeros
Sextillion has 21 zeros
Septillion has 24 zeros
Octillion has 27 zeros
Nonillion has 30 zeros
Decillion has 33 zeros
Undecillion has 36 zeros
Duodecillion has 39 zeros
Tredecillion has 42 zeros
Quattuordecillion has 45 zeros
Quindecillion has 48 zeros
Sexdecillion has 51 zeros
Septendecillion has 54 zeros
Octodecillion has 57 zeros
Novemdecillion has 60 zeros
Vigintillion has 63 zeros
Googol has 100 zeros.
Centillion has 303 zeros (except in Britain, where it has 600 zeros)
Googolplex has a googol of zeros
Gazillion has 86430 zeros
posted by nikki5516
Your BFF become your worst enemies. Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Cell phones are used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Underwear turn into thongs. Kisses turn into sex….Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things u could get from boys were cooties? When dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and mom was your hero? Race issues were about who ran the fastest, war was only a card game of a made up fairytale in your...
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posted by JoannaVonDoom
Im sorry if this has been geplaatst before
If not, do not give me credit

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with vrienden in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If u have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours door hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat...
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posted by spunkyonyx
hallo guys, found some interesting and strange facts, some are just facts I have known a long time ago(school, wandering around websites), others are ones that I have found, I apply the bron if available. Any others u may want to add up feel free to do so. Enjoy!

1) Coca-cola was once green.
It was green because it was accidentally carbonated when a clerk squirted syrup into the wrong glass.

2)Barbie doll measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. Wow... she's cut from the team.

3)Intelligent people have meer zinc and copper in their hair. *Checks... Woot!

4)You blink about 84 million times...
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1) wacg alote of T.V. of be on the computer a long time
2) don't eat food that can make u sleepy
3) drink a lot of soda of crush
4) gety near load stuff of equipment
5) kepp your lights on
6) try not to close your eyes at a late uur
7) don't lay down
8) wach a scary movie
EX: Cucky Nightmare on elms straat orphan
10) eat choclat and other stuff to make u hiper

those are some ways to stay up till midnight on New years eve.

plz writ a commet to tell me what u did on the list

posted by kitkat709477
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I found this from one site, so I thought it was cool so i decided to post it here.. What do u think ?

When u break her heart- [ the pain NEVER really goes away ]
When she misses u - [ she's hurting inside ]
When she says its over - [ she STILL want u to be hers ]
When she reposts this bulletin - [ she wants u to read it ]
When she walks away from u mad - [ Follow her]
When she stare's at your mouth - [ Kiss her ]
When she pushes u of hit's u - [ Grab her and don’t let go ]
When she start's cursing at u - [ Kiss her and tell her u love her ]
When she ignore's u - [ Give her your...
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posted by karpach_13
The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. u have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin

Even if happiness forgets u a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert

If u want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy

Happiness is never stopping to think if u are. ~Palmer Sondreal

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain

If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton

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posted by karpach_13

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minuut intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people u can get
to kom bij in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department door sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as u see fit.

9. When there are...
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posted by MrssBieber320
Ever met that one person that u just wanna stempel, punch in the face , then someohow , u end up in a relationship with them , u fall in love , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing u want to burn either (:]) Well if u still have feelings for that person im gonna help u get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap u guys (: , ohk so u could first start off door doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave u on brand ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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posted by karpach_13
New ways to order pizza
Are u tired of always ordering pizza the same way? Well, this lists will keep u entertained for over 90 pizza orders!!!

1. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

2. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh,...
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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:

1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If u have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal door conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what u think."

7. Claim that u must always wear a bicycle helm as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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So you've just traveled to a foreign country, taken a subway u never take, of teleported to medieval England due to a time travel mishap. Your surroundings are strange, confusing, and possibly haunted. But instead of freaking out—due to frustration, confusions, and ghosts, respectively—you should follow these expert pointers to get yourself from lost to un-lost.

1) DO ask for directions. DO NOT ask an axe murderer for directions.
People who see u crying over a crumpled map are almost always helpful (axe murderers being a notable exception). Look for some official-seeming person of kindly...
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1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up door singing strand Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say u taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

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Here are a series of Pointless questions.feel free to comment. :)
Whats the worst thing u have done in the bathroom?
L-Jack off to u :)
M-Lookd at u and puked. :p

What turns u on?
M-sadly.....lindsy lohan?

Worst thing to do In public?
M- get a boner cuz of ya ;x

Who's your Daddy?
M-Shud have been a smurf


Peanut boter and..?
L- lube
M- Smores :)

Dont trust a..?
L-preggo chicks bf

Worst thing a guy can do on a first date?
L-say "I rather do Edward Cullen"
M-pick his teeth and try to kiss you?

I wana..?
L-Fuck u :)

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1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up door singing strand Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say u taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
continue reading...