Here are my lijst of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let u know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything of eating anything u might spit it of something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the bezem late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baai, bay they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favoriete vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the paddestoel have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do u call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?

#9 What do u call a pencil without lead?

#10 How do u make an octopus giggle ten times?
u give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do u make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's favoriete composer?

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between u and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't u hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher zei it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the tomaat blush?
It saw the salade dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do u know if it's raining cats and dogs?
u step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do u know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do u get pikachu on a bus?
u pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't u dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do u call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
u boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton kruis the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do u call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's roze and fluffy?
roze fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
roze fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when u drink 7 coca colas?
u burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the vis say when he hit a concrete wall?

#41 Why can't u trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope u liked them. Make sure u check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...