1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When u sleep over never boss me around in bed unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If u don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” of “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If u want sex, just ask. (In case u didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
10. Only models are able to wear most of the stuff u see in fashion magazines.
11. No guy will complain if he comes home pagina and sees u in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, of just plain naked.
12. u don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank top, boven are fine door us.
13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that u may enjoy, just let us know.
16. Every so often no matter whether it is true of not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
17. If were not getting love we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
22. u shouldn’t be flattered of grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
23. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
24. We masturbate, usually meer when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach u not to quit.
26. Giving head is never a bad idea.
27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so douche with us.
28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) u on top, boven of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
29. We don’t mind going to gay films with u but don’t tell our friends.
30. u can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports films of “Old yeller.”
31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
33. You’re probably not as funny as u think.
34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one meer girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced door a Maxim article)
36. Cooking makes a girl that much meer attractive especially if she can use a grill.
37. u can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
38. For every fart that slips out when u are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
39. If we want to take naked pictures of u it is because we are proud and want to toon u off to our friends.
40. The red light means the video camera is off.
41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether u want to do it with the lights on of off.
42. Whip cream and chocolate syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
43. Nothing u will ever do will entitle u to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
44. The only thing left to be zei after sex is “goodnight.”
45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play meer often.
46. Critiquing our driving is only seconde to critiquing our love making.
47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer vragen we could be castrated.
48. If u ask us to go shopping u have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
49. The jeans don’t make your ezel look fat. Your fat ezel makes your ezel look fat.
50. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When u sleep over never boss me around in bed unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If u don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” of “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If u want sex, just ask. (In case u didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
10. Only models are able to wear most of the stuff u see in fashion magazines.
11. No guy will complain if he comes home pagina and sees u in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, of just plain naked.
12. u don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank top, boven are fine door us.
13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that u may enjoy, just let us know.
16. Every so often no matter whether it is true of not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
17. If were not getting love we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
22. u shouldn’t be flattered of grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
23. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
24. We masturbate, usually meer when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach u not to quit.
26. Giving head is never a bad idea.
27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so douche with us.
28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) u on top, boven of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
29. We don’t mind going to gay films with u but don’t tell our friends.
30. u can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports films of “Old yeller.”
31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
33. You’re probably not as funny as u think.
34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one meer girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced door a Maxim article)
36. Cooking makes a girl that much meer attractive especially if she can use a grill.
37. u can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
38. For every fart that slips out when u are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
39. If we want to take naked pictures of u it is because we are proud and want to toon u off to our friends.
40. The red light means the video camera is off.
41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether u want to do it with the lights on of off.
42. Whip cream and chocolate syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
43. Nothing u will ever do will entitle u to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
44. The only thing left to be zei after sex is “goodnight.”
45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play meer often.
46. Critiquing our driving is only seconde to critiquing our love making.
47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer vragen we could be castrated.
48. If u ask us to go shopping u have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
49. The jeans don’t make your ezel look fat. Your fat ezel makes your ezel look fat.
50. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.
#9 Have one of your vrienden hit u on the back and spit out a piece of white gum of a tic-tak, this will make people think they broke your tooth.
#8 Go to the mall and ask people if they have change for the payphone. Don't stop until u have $20 of more.
#7 If u have to write a story for English class, write: Once upon a time, The end, and turn it in.
#6 After a lesson, if the teacher ask if there are any questions, ask something completely randon like "Where do babies come from?"
#5 If the teacher leaves during the middle of a movie, get up and change the channel to Spongebob of muziek videos.
#4 Go around singing the Free Credit Report.com songs.
#3 Go around hitting people on the head and say: "Could've had a v8."
#2 Get a bra and use it to shoot eggs at people.
#1 When the intercom comes on, drop to your knees and yell, "NO! It's those voices again!
