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posted by CullenProperty
60 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

1) For all we talk about how hot guys are. We mostly care about there personality. Though a hot body is a plus

2) We are just as shy as u are about relationships

3) Many of us don't let u see us cry, unless we want u to comfort us

4) We like dropping small flirts, to see if u are interested. But we will later deny it of make it into a joke

5) Most of us prefer to be call beautiful than hot of sexy. But not all of us

6) We only wear mini skirts, tank tops and skimpy cloths for u (unless it's REALLY REALLY hot outside). So if u don't like what we wear say something likely look really nice today, but u know...I think I like u in jeans better'

7) We travel in groups for one of two reasons 1) because we want to share some form of gossip with each other of get advice on something 2) B/c we don't want to get caught door ourselves with u because we won't know what to say and are afraid we'll make a fool of ourselves

8) MOST girls spend about 15% of the time thinking about specific guys, 20% thinking of guys in general, 25% thinking of how to get guys to notice us and what to say when we do, 30% of the time TALKING about guys (even if someone else isn't listening), and 10% of the time doing something else

9) Girls automatically assume that all guys are ***** and only want to get into our pants until u prove otherwise (and even then some small part of us still thinks that)

10) Most girls are under the impression that guys only want skinny 'hot' girls

11) Most girls enjoy being paraded around once in awhile in front of your friends. We enjoy having u toon us off to your friends, kind of like, 'Hey, look at my hot ezel girlfriend! Aren't u jealous?" But we don't enjoy being nothing but a trophy girl

12) Nicknames like "Babe, of darling" are veilig to call just about any girl. But beware of "Princess of Angel". Some girls will take offense to this thinking u are calling them to innocent of incapable of taking care of themselves.

13) Speaking of nicknames, almost every girl has ONE nickname that they just love to be called

14) Most girls will drop lots of hints to tell u that they like you, but won't come right out and say" I like you" of "I love you". If u think they like you, there is a good chance they do.

15) Scenario time! -You like a girl named Ashley, Ashley has a friend named Brenda. Brenda comes up u in the hall and asks "Do u like Ashley?"

meer often than not in this scenario Ashley asked Brenda to ask u because she is to shy to ask u herself. And even if she didn't the first thing Brenda is going to do with your answer is tell Ashley. Now u are thinking "WHAT!? NO!! DON"T TELL HER THAT!!!" but in reality, this is a good thing. Because there is a good chance she already likes you. And if she doesn't, she will now be looking at u in a different way, and let me tell you. It's a lot easier to fall for a guy if u already know they like you. So its safe. So go ahead and tell Brenda that u like Ashley. Take a chance.

16) Girls hate it when guys say perverted things.

17) Girls love to feel special, even though they might not toon it

18) Girls talk about everything with their girl friends. So unless u tell us not to tell them about something, they WILL know about it within 3 days. And if u are the girl's boyfriend, that means, you're possibly 90% of their conversation. And believe me, trash talking takes up most of it, unless you're a Greek god, which you're not...

19) Girls hate guys with bad hygiene.

20) Girls love it when a guy pulls them close door the waist

21) Most girls like a guy that will willing dance with them, even if he doesn't know how

22) Usually, when a girl is sarcastically mean to you, it means they're attracted to you, but are afraid that they'll be tonen too much

23) A kiss on the hand with the right timing can be a REAL TURN-ON

24) Some girls can think about their crushes for 18+ hours straight. No exaggeration

25) When a guy says something really sentimental, girls will remember it forever

26) Girls get embarrassed easily, even if guys don't know what the hell just happened.

27) Girls daydream about their crushes ALL the time. They just don't toon it.

28) When a girl is upset and wants u to listen, she wants u to listen. She doesn't need u to fix it of tell her how to. She just wants u to listen.

29) When a girl is crying, she feels a lot safer if u pull her close and tell her that everything is going to be all right. And meer likely than not, it will endear them to u meer than anything else.

30) Girls love it when guys say their name

31) Girls love confidence

32) When a girl cooks for you, u know u mean a lot to her

33) Girls hate it when other girls flirt. Yet they flirt themselves too. Ah, the beauty of irony

34) We don't enjoy talking dirty to u as much as u enjoy listening.

35) Saying something sweet might get u off the hook; doing something sweet will always get u off the hook.

36) Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.

37) No matter what u say, your ex-girlfriend is a schoffel, hoe to us. Not because we don't like your taste in women, because believe me WE do! its just that...we don't want to have to wonder if she is better than us. And if she is a hoe, we are better. So it makes things simple for us.

38) We are self-conscious door nature; we can't help it. But we CAN try and hide it.
39) Even if u think it is cool to burp, fart, of emit other strange gases from your body, it is not. Though we sometimes will tell u it is.

40) As far as u are concerned, we are beautiful at all times, and don't tell us different, unless u make it sound like a compliment (even if it isn't) Like, "You were really pretty yesterday when u wore -insert clothing/accessory here-, I think u should wear that meer often"

41) Whatever u do, don't just toon up at our house unexpected of at least without ringing the door bell...we run around in our underwear just like u do. And no matter how much u would like to see that, we will likely never talk to u again

42) DON'T CHEAT ON US. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and u will be dirt.

43) We want u to beware of every male relative and all guy friends. All of them would kick your ezel at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat. We just don't want u to be too obvious.

44) We enjoy being kissed door u in front of your friends. It makes us feel like u care a lot about us.

45) u don't have PMS; so don't act like u know what it's like. Don't try to understand...believe me u never will.

46) Violent statements like "If that guy keeps looking at you, I'm going to tear his head off" are appealing

47) We don't want u to say u love us if u don't mean it

48) We love it when u make eye contact with us while we talk.

49) Most girls are afraid of losing our independence to guys (for some unknown reason)

50) If u ask a girl out directly, meer likely than not, she will say yes to you. Even if she only has lukewarm feelings for you, because it will give her the chance to get to know u better and get to like u even more.

51) Most girls love it when guys ask them for advice.

52) Girls like it when u tell us what u are thinking, even if u don't understand it yourself

53) After you've been dating for a while, realize that we really have started to trust you. When u have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, u have a lot meer responsibility, privilege and control than u would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond

54) There is nothing wrong with being attentive and sensitive. However, this behavior can be carried too far. u don't have to hang on our every word of give in to our every whim. The thrill of the chase doesn't end after the first successful pick-up line. If u don't present us with some minor challenges, we're likely to get bored, of worse, feel that you're creepy and obsessive.

55) Variety is the spice of life. There are patterns underlying what your woman says she likes and doesn't like. It would benefit u far meer to try and discern the nature of these than to repeat everything she admits to enjoying until she no longer does

56) Most men think the chase ends once they have us, but truly it has only just began.You must work even harder to keep us then u do u earn us. We not some trophy u can earn,put on a shelf and admire. u have to care for us like the living human beings we are.(see 54)

57)WHEN WE SAY NO ITS NO, SO STOP ASKING!!!

58)If someone flirts with you, its a complement. If you're not interested, accept it but dont flirt back.

59)The woman in your life needs to hear how u feel about her, and often. Tell her now

60)All women are complicated, and it is doubtful any man will ever fully be able to understand us.But we know that, so its going to be ok.
posted by bizeshnakarki
I found this artikel on the internet.

1. Insist that u are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say u know nothing about them.
2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors door your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as u can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards,...
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I got really bored last night and decided to look these up. So...yeah. Some small roles are included.


Italy and Kid

Narrator and Liz

Greece and Spirit

Chibitalia and Yumi

America and Justin

England and Harvar

France and Giriko

Russia and the clowns

HRE and Jack the Ripper
Austria and Dr.Stein

Hungary and Medusa

Liechtenstein and Patty

Belarus and Tsubaki

Lithuania and Ox

Sweden and Mifune

Sealand and Crona

Rome and Eibon

......Yep. I'm most likely missing some, though.
posted by Juilet1234
Mittens.
They warm your hands, protect u from the cold. They're not a bad thing.
But imagine if for your whole life u wore heavy mittens. If u dial a phone, try to use a remote control, of try to play a board game, you're still wearing mittens. Practically everything is much meer difficult.
Right there.
Practically everything is much meer difficult.
Remember that.
Now imagine this.
You're in a room with the TV on full volume. The radio is blaring loud, screeching music. The lights are flickering on and off. Everything u see is magnified, is a much bigger deal than it normally would...
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Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.


Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable door the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby...
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474 Things To Do When You're Bored


- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a bed of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your hoofdkussen, kussen X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of...
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posted by dannylynn92
link

Childbirth is the seconde most painful thing in the world, right volgende to being burned alive.

You are meer likely to get struck door lightning than to be attacked and killed door a bear.

It is unlawful to sit on the floor anywhere in the US Capitol building. It is considered to be protesting.

The chicken is the closest living relative to the T-Rex.

Elephants are the only animal that have 4 knees. They also are the only animal that can't jump.

The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.

Vaccinations contain dead bacteria cells. The bacteria cells are inserted into your body so that...
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posted by Tamar20
1. WRITE EVERYTHING IN badges LOCK OVERUSE badges LOCK! WHEN u REALLY SHOULD WRITE SOMETHING IN ALL badges THOUGH, USE ALL LOWERCASE LETTERS!

2. Don't use any punctuation.

3. Purposely spell things wrong and then get really upset when people don't understand you.

4. Overuse the comma, for example: "today, I, really, had, a, bad, day."

5. Use Sticky badges Capitalize every other letter.

6. Forget the grammar And when someone asks u what u mean just repeat it the exact same way.

7. Capitalize each word This annoys some people very, very much.

8. Use absolutely no vowels.

9. Answer every thing they say...
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posted by Thecharliejay
100 Ways to Annoy People
1.Get to know a vrienden bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
2.Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
3.Call other people "Champ" of "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
4.Drum on every available surface.
5.Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
6.Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
7.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
8.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
9.Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
10.Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
11.Insist on giving...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Useful Hawaiian Phrases
On the Plane
My how your perfume fills the entire cabin!
'A'ala maoli keia wahi o kakou i kau wai 'ala kuikawa!


If I snore, I would like to apologize in advance
Ke nono au, e kala mua mai, i keia manawa ho'i.


I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal
Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.


Only six dollars for a headset? Why thats only three dollars per ear!
Eono kala no ka ho'olohe lekio? 'O ia ho'i, 'ekolu wale no kala o kahi pepeiao!


Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name
E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia 'o Severe...
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1. Go to www.google.com and look up funny things that most people would hate.
2. Draw on Justin Beibers face.(french guy, hearts, ect.)
3. sit and watch tv then call ur friend and tell her every detail of what u were watching. dont forget quotes.
4. Yell at a sibling then scream across the house to ur mom tht ur sibling yelled @ u bcuz u called her a midget.
5. Scream to ur friend that u had fun in Montanna and that uve nvr been there.
6. Run around thhe neighborhood until u get dizzy
7. Look up how to play a sport u have no interest in then tell ur parents all about the sport and say u dont like it. then change ur mind and ssay u love it. then change it again and do that untill your parents get anoyed.
8. Tell ur sister of brother that she/he's a brat then give them a hug.
9.scream to the computer that u miss your dad. even if he's standing right there.
10. tell justin beiber's pic on the internet that he's a jerk, then apologize.
posted by smileypop9
Million has 6 zeros
Billion has 9 zeros
Trillion has 12 zeros
Quadrillion has 15 zeros
Quintillion has 18 zeros
Sextillion has 21 zeros
Septillion has 24 zeros
Octillion has 27 zeros
Nonillion has 30 zeros
Decillion has 33 zeros
Undecillion has 36 zeros
Duodecillion has 39 zeros
Tredecillion has 42 zeros
Quattuordecillion has 45 zeros
Quindecillion has 48 zeros
Sexdecillion has 51 zeros
Septendecillion has 54 zeros
Octodecillion has 57 zeros
Novemdecillion has 60 zeros
Vigintillion has 63 zeros
Googol has 100 zeros.
Centillion has 303 zeros (except in Britain, where it has 600 zeros)
Googolplex has a googol of zeros
Gazillion has 86430 zeros
---------------------------
posted by spunkyonyx
If u have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, u have $1.19. u also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest random speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: I found these online, and they made me smile. As u can see, I clearly didn’t make them up. Thought of course, If I had, I wouldn’t be claiming they were someone elses…Never mind..

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
-A. Whitney Brown

When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter.
- Stephen Wright.

Did u ever walk in a room and forget why u walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.
–Sue Murphy

I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak...
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posted by EllentheStrange
I am anti emo,because I don't the idea of them

mutilating themselves for no reason.I mean

sure,you have bullies at school and your mom

hates you,but I have those same problems.But I

don't cut,or dink,or do drugs.Emo Kids are just

pissing their life away cutting and killing

themselves over their little problems.You live in

a small town,nobody feels sorry for you.get a

haircut.There's no point to get

yourself.Everybody has problems.Deal with

them,but don't cut.Write of draw.Listen to music.

Do something else besides cut.And the posers are

even worst so I dislike them even more.They think

it will...
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posted by cutiegirl01
1. Pretend that your bureau is a drum and ur pencils are drum sticks.

2. Randomly hypervenlate out of no where.

3. when ur teacher asks if there are an questains on the testhomework shout out 'WHAT'S THE ANSWER TO # 10!'

4. break your pencil on purpse in front of them when there talking then get up and sharpen it.

5. If they ask u to guess theyre age (no they wont) guess 10 years older then u really think.

6. On ur paper write a random jaar and someone elses name and write ur name on a smart kids.

7. Talk to people u hate in class constently then when they tell u to stup up say 'they're bugging me!'...
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posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can u tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The bedieningshendel, joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her meer attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do u say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are u boys all in the same band?
A3: Do u guys all play for the Green baai, bay Packers?

Q: How do u make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde...
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posted by karpach_13
101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minuut intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people u can get
to kom bij in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department door sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as u see fit.

9. When there are...
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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If u have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal door conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what u think."

7. Claim that u must always wear a bicycle helm as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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So you've just traveled to a foreign country, taken a subway u never take, of teleported to medieval England due to a time travel mishap. Your surroundings are strange, confusing, and possibly haunted. But instead of freaking out—due to frustration, confusions, and ghosts, respectively—you should follow these expert pointers to get yourself from lost to un-lost.

1) DO ask for directions. DO NOT ask an axe murderer for directions.
People who see u crying over a crumpled map are almost always helpful (axe murderers being a notable exception). Look for some official-seeming person of kindly...
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posted by yoshifan1976
Doctor Mario was in his office when suddenly there was an urgent phone call. It was Daisy. "Mario, come quick. Luigi's very sick." "I'll be there right now, Daisy", Mario told her. Nurse perzik was very concerned. "What's wrong, Mario?" "Luigi's sick", he answered with worry. "Go", perzik told him kindly. "I can take care of things here." "Thanks, Peach". He gave her a kiss and then rode over to Luigi and Daisy's house. madeliefje, daisy hugged Mario and led him upstairs. "Hey little brother", he smiled at Luigi. Luigi smiled back. He loves his big brother Mario. No one understood the brotherly bond between...
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