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posted by CullenProperty
60 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

1) For all we talk about how hot guys are. We mostly care about there personality. Though a hot body is a plus

2) We are just as shy as u are about relationships

3) Many of us don't let u see us cry, unless we want u to comfort us

4) We like dropping small flirts, to see if u are interested. But we will later deny it of make it into a joke

5) Most of us prefer to be call beautiful than hot of sexy. But not all of us

6) We only wear mini skirts, tank tops and skimpy cloths for u (unless it's REALLY REALLY hot outside). So if u don't like what we wear say something likely look really nice today, but u know...I think I like u in jeans better'

7) We travel in groups for one of two reasons 1) because we want to share some form of gossip with each other of get advice on something 2) B/c we don't want to get caught door ourselves with u because we won't know what to say and are afraid we'll make a fool of ourselves

8) MOST girls spend about 15% of the time thinking about specific guys, 20% thinking of guys in general, 25% thinking of how to get guys to notice us and what to say when we do, 30% of the time TALKING about guys (even if someone else isn't listening), and 10% of the time doing something else

9) Girls automatically assume that all guys are ***** and only want to get into our pants until u prove otherwise (and even then some small part of us still thinks that)

10) Most girls are under the impression that guys only want skinny 'hot' girls

11) Most girls enjoy being paraded around once in awhile in front of your friends. We enjoy having u toon us off to your friends, kind of like, 'Hey, look at my hot ezel girlfriend! Aren't u jealous?" But we don't enjoy being nothing but a trophy girl

12) Nicknames like "Babe, of darling" are veilig to call just about any girl. But beware of "Princess of Angel". Some girls will take offense to this thinking u are calling them to innocent of incapable of taking care of themselves.

13) Speaking of nicknames, almost every girl has ONE nickname that they just love to be called

14) Most girls will drop lots of hints to tell u that they like you, but won't come right out and say" I like you" of "I love you". If u think they like you, there is a good chance they do.

15) Scenario time! -You like a girl named Ashley, Ashley has a friend named Brenda. Brenda comes up u in the hall and asks "Do u like Ashley?"

meer often than not in this scenario Ashley asked Brenda to ask u because she is to shy to ask u herself. And even if she didn't the first thing Brenda is going to do with your answer is tell Ashley. Now u are thinking "WHAT!? NO!! DON"T TELL HER THAT!!!" but in reality, this is a good thing. Because there is a good chance she already likes you. And if she doesn't, she will now be looking at u in a different way, and let me tell you. It's a lot easier to fall for a guy if u already know they like you. So its safe. So go ahead and tell Brenda that u like Ashley. Take a chance.

16) Girls hate it when guys say perverted things.

17) Girls love to feel special, even though they might not toon it

18) Girls talk about everything with their girl friends. So unless u tell us not to tell them about something, they WILL know about it within 3 days. And if u are the girl's boyfriend, that means, you're possibly 90% of their conversation. And believe me, trash talking takes up most of it, unless you're a Greek god, which you're not...

19) Girls hate guys with bad hygiene.

20) Girls love it when a guy pulls them close door the waist

21) Most girls like a guy that will willing dance with them, even if he doesn't know how

22) Usually, when a girl is sarcastically mean to you, it means they're attracted to you, but are afraid that they'll be tonen too much

23) A kiss on the hand with the right timing can be a REAL TURN-ON

24) Some girls can think about their crushes for 18+ hours straight. No exaggeration

25) When a guy says something really sentimental, girls will remember it forever

26) Girls get embarrassed easily, even if guys don't know what the hell just happened.

27) Girls daydream about their crushes ALL the time. They just don't toon it.

28) When a girl is upset and wants u to listen, she wants u to listen. She doesn't need u to fix it of tell her how to. She just wants u to listen.

29) When a girl is crying, she feels a lot safer if u pull her close and tell her that everything is going to be all right. And meer likely than not, it will endear them to u meer than anything else.

30) Girls love it when guys say their name

31) Girls love confidence

32) When a girl cooks for you, u know u mean a lot to her

33) Girls hate it when other girls flirt. Yet they flirt themselves too. Ah, the beauty of irony

34) We don't enjoy talking dirty to u as much as u enjoy listening.

35) Saying something sweet might get u off the hook; doing something sweet will always get u off the hook.

36) Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.

37) No matter what u say, your ex-girlfriend is a schoffel, hoe to us. Not because we don't like your taste in women, because believe me WE do! its just that...we don't want to have to wonder if she is better than us. And if she is a hoe, we are better. So it makes things simple for us.

38) We are self-conscious door nature; we can't help it. But we CAN try and hide it.
39) Even if u think it is cool to burp, fart, of emit other strange gases from your body, it is not. Though we sometimes will tell u it is.

40) As far as u are concerned, we are beautiful at all times, and don't tell us different, unless u make it sound like a compliment (even if it isn't) Like, "You were really pretty yesterday when u wore -insert clothing/accessory here-, I think u should wear that meer often"

41) Whatever u do, don't just toon up at our house unexpected of at least without ringing the door bell...we run around in our underwear just like u do. And no matter how much u would like to see that, we will likely never talk to u again

42) DON'T CHEAT ON US. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and u will be dirt.

43) We want u to beware of every male relative and all guy friends. All of them would kick your ezel at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat. We just don't want u to be too obvious.

44) We enjoy being kissed door u in front of your friends. It makes us feel like u care a lot about us.

45) u don't have PMS; so don't act like u know what it's like. Don't try to understand...believe me u never will.

46) Violent statements like "If that guy keeps looking at you, I'm going to tear his head off" are appealing

47) We don't want u to say u love us if u don't mean it

48) We love it when u make eye contact with us while we talk.

49) Most girls are afraid of losing our independence to guys (for some unknown reason)

50) If u ask a girl out directly, meer likely than not, she will say yes to you. Even if she only has lukewarm feelings for you, because it will give her the chance to get to know u better and get to like u even more.

51) Most girls love it when guys ask them for advice.

52) Girls like it when u tell us what u are thinking, even if u don't understand it yourself

53) After you've been dating for a while, realize that we really have started to trust you. When u have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, u have a lot meer responsibility, privilege and control than u would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond

54) There is nothing wrong with being attentive and sensitive. However, this behavior can be carried too far. u don't have to hang on our every word of give in to our every whim. The thrill of the chase doesn't end after the first successful pick-up line. If u don't present us with some minor challenges, we're likely to get bored, of worse, feel that you're creepy and obsessive.

55) Variety is the spice of life. There are patterns underlying what your woman says she likes and doesn't like. It would benefit u far meer to try and discern the nature of these than to repeat everything she admits to enjoying until she no longer does

56) Most men think the chase ends once they have us, but truly it has only just began.You must work even harder to keep us then u do u earn us. We not some trophy u can earn,put on a shelf and admire. u have to care for us like the living human beings we are.(see 54)

57)WHEN WE SAY NO ITS NO, SO STOP ASKING!!!

58)If someone flirts with you, its a complement. If you're not interested, accept it but dont flirt back.

59)The woman in your life needs to hear how u feel about her, and often. Tell her now

60)All women are complicated, and it is doubtful any man will ever fully be able to understand us.But we know that, so its going to be ok.
I've been planning to do this for a long time and now I'm finally doing it. I have voices of different variety and though some get a lot of criticism but I don't care. To me these women have such jaw dropping voices that never sises to amazing me. I'm going to name the singer, describe why I love her voice so much, and leave a link of where I think their voice sounds the best, whether if it's live, studio, of movie. Please commentaar and please keep in mind this is just my opinion.

10.Liz Callaway
I've loved her voice ever since I was little and watched her in The zwaan-, zwaan Princess, Anastasia,...
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posted by OmegaLeader
(Found it on the internet thought it was pretty interesting.)

You call your victim and u want to confuse them. No laughing of anything, just a normal voice like someone would call you. Me and my vrienden do this a lot.


Script:
You call the person...

Person: Hello?
You: Hello?
Person: Uh, hi. Who is this and what do u want?
You: What? Oh no no no no no! It is u who is calling me. Ok, so what did u need?
Person: No no I didn't call you. u called me. Wait, who is this??
You: NO! I didn't call you! u are the one who called me! Now i ask one meer time who are u and why did u call my at this...
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posted by awesomeblossom1
Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope u like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when u heard someone talking on the intercom, u fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give u a ride home pagina and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a paddestoel and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...
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posted by xxemogirl101xx
For people that hate stereotypes.


1. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic

2. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

3. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

4. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

5. I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

6. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

7. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

8. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

9. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

10. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

11. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

12. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

13. I'm an ATHEIEST, so I WILL go to hell

14. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST have no values...
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posted by reb1009
The Original Rejection Hotline®: 212-660-2245

Psychiatric Hotline: 973-409-3277

Santa Hotline (Not for Kids!): 772-257-4661

It Could Always Suck More!: 401-992-4050

Bad Breath Notification Number: 631-960-7187

The "Make It 18" Hotline: 772-257-4488

The "Human Resources" Hotline: 786-837-9893

Marijuana Legalization Line: 781-452-0647

How To Keep an Idiot Entertained: 401-285-0696

Outsource-A-Friendship To India: 267-436-5128

(i need to have a longer artical so... lalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

Rebecca Roll: 781-452-2079
posted by KilledbyanAngel
Tomorrow is Valentines Day, so here's an artikel - How to Say "I love you!" in 51 different languages!

1. "I love you!" (English



2."Ek is lief vir jou" (Afrikaans)



3. "أحبك" (Arabic)



4a. "Ես սիրում եմ քեզ" (Armenian)



4b. "Yes sirum yem" k’yez (Armenian - Phonetics)



5a. "Я кахаю цябе" (Belarusian)



5b. "JA kachaju ciabie" (Belarusian Phonetics)



6a. "Обичам те" [i](Bulgarian)




6b. "Obicham te" (Bulgarian - Phonetics)



7. "Et vull" (Catalan)



8a. "我愛你" (Chinese [traditional])



8b. "Wǒ ài nǐ" (Chinese [traditional] - Phonetics)



9. "Volim te" (Croatian)



10. "Miluji tě"...
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posted by ilovepenguins
I didn't write this!


Sell used bus tickets. Claim they are for half the price.

Get on the bus, grinning widely. As soon as the bus begins to move, burst into song. When u arrive at the volgende stop, stop singing. Step off the bus backwards, still grinning widely.

If u are seated between two passengers, yawn loudly, strech, and put your arms around them.

Greet passengers with a big hug, handshake, smile and say ³Hi, call me Norman²

Put a leash on a friend and walk him/her onto the bus. Insist he/she is a dog and should go for half fare.

When arriving at your stop, do not push the button to...
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50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time u turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him of her that you’ve lost your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he of she has anything...
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Ways to annoy people in Wal-Mart



Hilarious Ways to be annoying!















"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the frozen food doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps u out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around Christmas time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if u can buy a shopping cart.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Ask Someone if they know were they sell little babies!...
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1. u can do whatever u damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. u can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. u can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. u don't having to think about birth control, calendars of ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. u can go out and flirt as much as your hart-, hart desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet zitplaats, stoel issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...
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posted by Mallory101
" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All u Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's hart-, hart is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...
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added by aromate
added by fatoshleo
Source: @fatoshleo
added by ilovekud
Source: ilovekud
posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him u met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do u listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him door his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your favoriete guy[If u hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson of some who u like ALLOT!]

9. Come home pagina saying u found your true...
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i didn't write this

1. Totally Ignore the first five people who say "Good Morning" to you.

2. Phone someone in the office u barely know, leave your name and say, "just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye".

3. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

4. When someone hands u a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "mmmmmm, that feels soooo good!"

5. Leave your fly's open for one hour. If anyone points it out say, "Sorry I really prefer it this way, it lets the smell out".

6. In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out YAHTZEE".

7....
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GET READY TO GET ANNOYED...ALL METHODS FOOL PROOFED door YOURS TRULY!! :)
ANNOYING THINGS 2 DO UR FRNDS!
1. Keep poking them until they scream in annoyance
2. Pull an Annoying oranje on them. Keep saying, "Hey,(insert name) (insert name)," as long as u want. Really effective!
3. Keep shouting swear words randomly. Like shout out, "Shit!" when they're eating pizza of something. :)
4. Sneeze, HARD, whenever they're around. Continue again and again and again and again and again!
5. Keep repeating, "What? What? What?" whenever they ask a question.
6. Keep calling them ELEGANT names, like if you're friend...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
1. paint everything in your sisters room black see what happens

2. get your sister of brother a drink put pepper in it....

3. play all your muziek really load

4. blackmail them O.o

5. act like a cow.

6. lick them O.o

7. give them a brood belegd broodje, sandwich

8. set their alrm for two in the morning

9. bite them

10. flush the toilet when their in the shower

11. ding ding ditch their room

12. eat their food

13. be right in their face when they wake up

14 sit on them

15. put your cat of dog on their face see if the animal farts in their face XD
added by PoddoChan
Source: F0rg0tz :P