Random Club
kom bij
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
DEMENTED POEMS

Roses are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And toon me your tits

Roses make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And u love it up the shitter

Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

Roses are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

Roses are shit
Violets are crap
toon me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

Roses are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And slikken it down

Roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
posted by slytherin360
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minuut intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people u can get to kom bij in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department door sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...
continue reading...
I never thought I would be doing a lijst like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this lijst with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please commentaar but be polite. Also, always commentaar because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
continue reading...
This was definitely the most difficult lijst I've made so far. I even made a few changes when I was deciding the ranking. u can obviously tell that this wasn't easy and took A LOT of dedication in order for me to figure it out. First of all, I will only be talking about the top, boven 10 and just listing the other women and tonen pictures. I figured that it not only makes it easier for me to make but also makes it easier for u guys to read and not be overwhelmed. I hope u enjoy it and keep in mind this is just my personal opinion. Please don't forget to commentaar and I can't wait to hear what...
continue reading...
We're all familiar with the term damsel in distress and we usually think about a female character that's tied to the train tracks door a villain with a curly-q mustache, and has to be saved door the dashing hero. I wonder where the idea first came from. We've always seen this with female characters because female damsels in distress have been around since the dawn of literature itself. However, during the mid of late 1900's, we've discovered that there are male characters that have to constantly be saved as well. What's the term for male damsel's in distress? There isn't one, even though some people...
continue reading...
These are my top, boven 15 LEAST favoriete beroemdheden and just like with my top, boven 15 favoriete beroemdheden lijst I'm only basing this off who they are as a person, but I will talk about their talent as well. I will also tell u how attractive I think these people are because there are very few on here I find ugly and some I find very attractive, I'm just going to mention it just to toon that I'm not biased like some people. This one person who did a lijst like this pretty much just zei they were all ugly and even compared them to animals. Anyway, this is my lijst and please keep in mind this is just my...
continue reading...
posted by FlufflyHands
Everyone is putting stuff up about Walmart, I was smart enough to think of CVS :D (I made these up on my own with no one elses help btw)

1. Resort the medicine aisle

2. Run around like an idiot until u are told to stop, once the person who stopped turns around do it again, repeat this process until your told to leave, then run out like an idiot

3. Go up to the cash register and tell the clerk that someone is "poaching" medicine, then run out of the store

4. Take the magazines u see and tear them to pieces, then go up to the front (were the cash register is) and throw the pieces up the air and...
continue reading...
posted by OmegaLeader
(Found it on the internet thought it was pretty interesting.)

You call your victim and u want to confuse them. No laughing of anything, just a normal voice like someone would call you. Me and my vrienden do this a lot.


Script:
You call the person...

Person: Hello?
You: Hello?
Person: Uh, hi. Who is this and what do u want?
You: What? Oh no no no no no! It is u who is calling me. Ok, so what did u need?
Person: No no I didn't call you. u called me. Wait, who is this??
You: NO! I didn't call you! u are the one who called me! Now i ask one meer time who are u and why did u call my at this...
continue reading...
posted by awesomeblossom1
Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope u like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when u heard someone talking on the intercom, u fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give u a ride home pagina and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a paddestoel and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...
continue reading...
posted by Jasonfan44
It's an iPod app.

1. Men are 6 times meer likely to get struck door lightning then women

2. On average, adults watch double the amount of TV as teenagers do

3. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA".

4. At the height of its power(400 BCE) the Greek city of Sparta had 500,000 slaves and only 25,000 citizens

5. The state of Florida is bigger than England

6. Approximate number of facial expressions dogs can make: 100

7. A slak can sleep for 3 years

8. It is illegal for tourists to enter Mexico with meer than 2 CD's

9. Muhammad is the most common first name in the world...
continue reading...
posted by Me_Iz_Here
There are a lot of creeps on Omegle. Whether you're just bored, trolling, of being a creep, u will definitely run into a pervert on Omegle. So here are some comebacks u can use.

Stranger: Horny?
You: Yes.
You: BECAUSE I'M A UNICORN!

Stranger: ASL.
You: Sorry, I don't speak American Sign Language.

Stranger: 17 M looking for horny females
You": 85, M, looking for other gay men.

Stranger: Wanna chat with hot girls? Go to "Babesofomegle . com"
You: No thanks I don't feel like seeing whores like you.

Strangers: Wanna fuck?
You: How the fuck are we gonna fuck if you're so fucking far away and I'm not gonna fucking tell u where I fucking live so we can fuck random strangers.

Stranger: u like dick?
You: Yes, I do like Dick. He's very nice. I don't get why people make fun of him for his name.
You: u ARE talking about the person, right?

Other ways are to just repeat the same thing over and over again, of copy everything they say.
posted by fanfly
A while back I wrote an artikel about link. I've decided to follow it up with a tutorial on how to make icons! They're actually much the same- the major difference is size.

You will need an image editing program. I use Corel Paint koop Pro but I think most people use Photoshop.

There's also the following online programs but I've never used them and this tutorial isn't necessarily meant to be used with them because I have no idea what these programs are capable of doing.

link
link
link




the Size of Your icoon Matters


Now this part is extremely important and I can't tell u how many iconen I've seen that...
continue reading...
posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF u DON'T PASS THIS ON u DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All dag long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
continue reading...
Ok so me and my friend love the mall but what makes it meer fun are the following

-When your lost looking for a store ask them in a british accents! here's an example "Pardon me, could u please point me in the direction of ______" (if u are british do it in a differnt accent like american austraian ect.)

-When u go into a store adress your friend door a differnt name and have a weird personality

-if u go into one of those store that plays the muziek REALLY loud, sing along like there's nobody else in the store but u and ur friend.

-Have weird conversations about random things. like terrorists of something

Have fun with vrienden at the mall!
1. Q."Can I screw you?"
A.I would say: "No..."

2. Q/M."Would u mind if I read this?"*Holds up some porn magazine*
A. I would say: "I don't give a da**..."

3. Q/M. *Hugs u and takes a little something off u would like him not to*
A.I would slap him and say "Don't do that, da** it!"

4. Q. "Are u sure we can't f***?"
A. I would say: "If u say that agin...I swear I'm going to get ticked..."
5. Q. "That somehow arouses me..."
A. I would say:"Get aroused all u want, not like I care if u are of aren't...As long as u don't jump around..."

6. Q. "I want to sign your shirt..."
A. I would say:...
continue reading...
posted by TDAPlayer158
link

60. Matthias
59. Thaddeus
58. Asia
57. Ananias
56. Syria
55. Ephesus
54. Esau
53. Mt. Zion
52. An-ti-och
51. King Nebuchadnezzar
50. Macedonia
49. Jacob
48. Moses
47. Judah
46. Abraham
45. Kerith
44. Sapphira
43. Ahab
42. Rehoboam
41. Jeroboam
40. Baasha
39. Mahar-shalal-hash-baz
38. Maale-akrabbim
37. Isaiah
36. Je'ho'sha'phat
35. Ahaziah
34. Queen Athaliah
33. Pastor Eric
32. Zechariah
31. Joel
30. Pastor Ian
29. Jeremiah
28. Brad
27. Abijah
26. Ahijah
25. Uzziah
24. Thessalonians
23. Jerusalem
22. Titus
21. Tabitha
20. Thaddeus
19. Pastor Kerry
18. Tirshatha
17. Dalmatia
16. Simon-Peter-Leaka-tepha-lika
15. Hezekiah
14. Barrabas
13. Tarpelites
12. Demetrius
11. Deuteronomy
10. Exodus
09. Leviticus
08. Ezekiel
07. Gethsemane
06. Mary
05. Gabriel
04. Matthew-Mark-Luke-Johnaliqua
03. Gettah Hepher
02. Kadesh Barnea
01. JESUS
not door me n thnx for readinnnnnnnnnn........♥♥

ll around us, everyday, there are two groups of people that many believe to be different. Not so! Teen-agers and Seniors have a lot in common. If it's accidentally putting their shoe on the wrong foot of putting their foot in their mouth, there are instances of conduct that are very similar in both groups.

For example:

Both groups like to hang out at fast food restaurants and shopping malls.

Both groups have developed their own "walk."

Both groups like to wear clothing that doesn't fit well.

Both groups seem to have questionable facial hair.

Both...
continue reading...
posted by ilovepenguins
I didn't write this!


Sell used bus tickets. Claim they are for half the price.

Get on the bus, grinning widely. As soon as the bus begins to move, burst into song. When u arrive at the volgende stop, stop singing. Step off the bus backwards, still grinning widely.

If u are seated between two passengers, yawn loudly, strech, and put your arms around them.

Greet passengers with a big hug, handshake, smile and say ³Hi, call me Norman²

Put a leash on a friend and walk him/her onto the bus. Insist he/she is a dog and should go for half fare.

When arriving at your stop, do not push the button to...
continue reading...
1. u can do whatever u damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. u can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. u can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. u don't having to think about birth control, calendars of ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. u can go out and flirt as much as your hart-, hart desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet zitplaats, stoel issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...
continue reading...
posted by Mallory101
" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All u Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's hart-, hart is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...
continue reading...