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posted by vlad_todd_fan
7
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF u DON'T PASS THIS ON u DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All dag long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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1. Q."Can I screw you?"
A.I would say: "No..."

2. Q/M."Would u mind if I read this?"*Holds up some porn magazine*
A. I would say: "I don't give a da**..."

3. Q/M. *Hugs u and takes a little something off u would like him not to*
A.I would slap him and say "Don't do that, da** it!"

4. Q. "Are u sure we can't f***?"
A. I would say: "If u say that agin...I swear I'm going to get ticked..."
5. Q. "That somehow arouses me..."
A. I would say:"Get aroused all u want, not like I care if u are of aren't...As long as u don't jump around..."

6. Q. "I want to sign your shirt..."
A. I would say:...
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posted by ilovepenguins
4
I didn't write this!


Sell used bus tickets. Claim they are for half the price.

Get on the bus, grinning widely. As soon as the bus begins to move, burst into song. When u arrive at the volgende stop, stop singing. Step off the bus backwards, still grinning widely.

If u are seated between two passengers, yawn loudly, strech, and put your arms around them.

Greet passengers with a big hug, handshake, smile and say ³Hi, call me Norman²

Put a leash on a friend and walk him/her onto the bus. Insist he/she is a dog and should go for half fare.

When arriving at your stop, do not push the button to...
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posted by KatiiCullen94
8
1. when i sneeze i sneeze again like straight after the first one, i cant just sneeze once!!

2. i don't tan. i burned, peel and then white again!

3. when i use new soap, my hands itch.

4. i like to read out load. reading in my head is a little unfocused for me.

5. i get zits on my arms!!! eww!

6. i have two freckles on my thighs that look my bites, (im a fangerbanger!! shh)

7. i really really really hate crocs (the shoes!)

8. i will scream down a building if i see toads! i am petrified!!

9. i constantly talk to myself, and i mean it!! ALLLLLLLLLLLL THE TIME!!!

10. I make funny noise when i drink, i cant help it!
Well, I opened up my mailbox the other dag and pulled out a letter adressed to me from some...person named "Kether Smith". And first thing I thought was "Kether.... that's a weird name!" but I opened up the letter anyway hoping that this "Kether" was a secret admierer of something sending me some money, but insted, the letter zei (word for word! I'm typing this strait out of the letter!)

Dahlia,
    I know that you’ll want to come looking for me, but don’t. I’m not worth it. u remember that halsketting, ketting I gave you? That holds some of my power within it, so it’s okay...
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1.They always smell good even if it's just shampoo

2.The way their heads always find the right spot on your shoulder

3.The ease with which they fit into your arms

4.The way they kiss u and all of a sudden everything is right in the world

5.How cute they are when they eat

6.The way they take hours to dress‚ but in the end it's all worthwhile

7.Because they're always warm‚ even when it's negative thirty degrees outside

8.The way they look good no matter what they wear

9.The way they vis for compliments

10.How cute they are when they argue

11.The way their hands always find yours

12.The way they smile...
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 Bob!
Bob!
Here are some things to do with the dummy Bob,

1. Practice karate on Bob
2. Dress Bob up
3. Use Bob as a boat
4. Use Bob to help u make a fort
5. Use Bob as a tree
6. Use Bob to lighten your stress door punching and kicking him
7. Use Bob as a way to practice how to fall in slow motion
8. Use Bob to take your anger out door punching and kicking him
9. Use Bob to tie things up on
10. Use Bob to compliment things up on
11. Use Bob as an audience
12. Have a staring contest with Bob
13. Use Bob reenact David and Goliath
14. Destroy Bob! Mwahahahaha!
15. Learn from Bob how to scowl
16. Learn from Bob how not to scowl
17....
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posted by danmarino900
34
u get everything!! u teenage girls get special treatment from everyone just cuz ur girls. u have the power to make any guy u want fall for you. Girls don't get rejected and called a loser door guys when flirting like ever!! It's like your better than everyone and everyone gives u everything and all u can do about it is complain! Complain that u have it harder than guys cuz u pms of because life is meer comPlicated for you. Guys have to get rejected door girls all the time, most are super lonely in high school where less girls are, and we have to do hard manual work. Pmsing is tough...
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Source: google afbeeldingen
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added by fanfly
Source: strictlywallpaper.com
posted by i_luv_angst
19
65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Wisconsin plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Wisconsin sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero
People in Miami all die.
Wisconsinites close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico...
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