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 Soviet Russia Jokes!
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CAUTION:there will most likely be consequences!!

1. Follow them around the house while giggling loudly.
2. Moo whenever they say your name.
3. Pretend to have amnesia.
4. Say everything backwards.
5. Run into walls.
6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"
8. Snort loudly when u laugh.
9. Say all of the words in a film.
10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"
11. Go around the house saying: "Beep, beep!" Then hit your head with a book.
12. Have a lively conversation with a pen.
13. Have 20 imaginary...
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posted by hrsagar
A boy had cancer & he had 1 maand to live . He love a girl who was working in a CD shop. Bu t he didn't tell her about his . Everyday he went 2 the CD koop & bought a CD 2 talk to her . But he found she never zei anything to him. After a maand he died . When the girl went to his home pagina & asked abt him , his mom told that he died & took her to his room . She saw all CDs r unopened . The girl cryed & cryed....;-(
Finally she also died .
* u know why ???
Bcoz she kept her own love letters inside the CD packs. So it means , she also loved her !!
So if u love some1 say 2 her/him directly . Don't wait 4 the destiny of role.............
posted by lloonny
-Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

-The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.


-The road to success is always under construction.

-When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

-If u die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

-After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist zei something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

-Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone...
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posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Guys, I just want to say. I am so so glad that I've discovered fanpop. I've met some amazing people, I've read some inspiring things, and through fanpop I've gained confidence, and I've realized that I'm not alone in this world, there are other people going through what I go through. I've discovered reasons to back up what I believed before, which has made me believe them even more. I've had some amusing conversations, I've learnt things that I had no idea I didn't know, and I just want to say thanks. Thanks for being here when no one else was. I've been able to talk open-mindedly, gain support...
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posted by kitkat709477
Girl Facts--- When a girl is mean to u after a break-up she wants u back but she is too scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever! When u catch a girl glancing at you, she wants u to look back and smile. When a girl bumps into your arm, while walking with u she wants u to hold her hand. When she wants a hug she will just stand there. When u break a girls hart-, hart she still feels it when u run into each other 3 years later. When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind. When a girl is stops arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at...
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posted by ShiningsTar542
The story we have for u today is one of love, friendship, and how to co-exist.

Salati is a leopard that was adopted door the Brooker family in South Africa. The family helps to rehabilitate animals that are injured. Salati came to the Brooker family when it was just a cub, and instantly became vrienden with Tommy, a golden retriever. Tommy was also a puppy at the time.

u would think that a friendship between this unlikely pair would be impossible. But no. The two animals connected from the first moment. Now the two animals are fully grown and they are still friends. They spend time together running, playing, sleeping, whatever!

They have left behind the stereotype of cat and dog and found friendship instead.
posted by justinbieberfw
1.) start looking at the stuff they have in the kar, winkelwagen saying things like "eww who likes this" "thats a fashion nightmere" ect.

2.) ask random ppl if there bob. if they say yes, then say y r u sayin yes. "y r u talkin 2 me". and start cryin

3.) start singing Barney songs as loud as u can

4.) go up to random ppl and say "tag, ur it"

5.) start giving ppl fashion tips. "o that overhemd, shirt is so last fall" " those pants? big no no" " o and dont even getme started on those shoes"

6.) go up 2 sum1, talk till they talk. then say " srry im not spose 2 talk 2 starngers"

7.) hit pplwith meat and say "glad to meat ya

8.) go up 2 a women and pat there belly sayin "wen r u due"

9.) go up 2 men and pat there belly sayin "wen r u due"

10.) start pokein a person, wen they look act like u r payin attention to sumthing else. then keep poken and doin the same thing
posted by simpleplan
really don't hate you, I'm just severely allergic to stupidity

I'm not having a battle of wits with you, I refuse to fight a unarmed opponent

Who ever says "words can't hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary

People say money can't buy happiness. They LIE. Money can buy a jet-ski. u ever see anyone unhappy on a jet-ski? Well?

Wants to know...If guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids

Everyone's entitled to be stupid but u are abusing the privilege

Why yes, I do frequently burst out in...
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How many times do u get passed door and ignored in the halls at school? Wouldn't your morning be so much brighter if people actually acknowledged your existence? Of course it would. But since people are fickle, u must force them. Here's how to provoke a friendly greeting, of at least make someone else feel happier as s/he comes glowering into the building.

Who knows? Your target might even pass along the gesture to someone else, who will pass it along to someone else, and that someone else will then... (you get the point; joy is contagious). Just think how many days could be brightened by...
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posted by teamian
Q .. Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A .. To see what was on the other side.

Q .. Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A .. Because on the box it zei From 2-4 years.

Q .. Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A .. She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One dag the husband comes home pagina from work and his wife says, "Honey, u know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could u fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and...
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posted by 1122ridr
 Em I going mad?
Em I going mad?
I know I am. I just know it. My room is covered with pinguïn stuff, I have a really big Mad Hatter hat,And I...I hate to admit it, but, I think I'm attracted to the March Hare. I must be going insane. The only book that I read is Alice in Wonderland and the only movie I watch is A Nightmare on Elm street. Tell me that I'm not going mad! I only drink tee, is that crazy of what? Do u think I'm going insane? I bet that u do, don't you? Tell me, "Why is a raven like a righting desk?" Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    You will never find anybody who can give u a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time.

•    You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests u think she's pregnant unless u can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

•    The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

•    The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status of ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that...
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My name is Angela, and I'm in love with Jacob Black.And I have a weird talent. I can appear in places that I dream of and talk to people there!
I'm 16 years old and I go in "Forks High" high school. I met Jacob in one of my dreams, and after I moved in Forks I met him in real life.

Angela's POV
-Hey, anybody there?
Someone walked out from the dark. It's a boy. He was hot..Actually he looked exactly like Jacob Black..Hm.
The boy- Hey! What are u doing here?!
-I don't know. I just appeared here, and I need help. u see, I have this talent. What I dream of is actually reality. It's hard to explain....
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Reasons I Love You:

1) The way u stand door my side


2) The times u make sure nothing will harm me


3) How u always find a new way to "WoW" me


4) When I'm sad, u take the pain away with a joke


5) How u always look deep into my eyes


6) How u can make my hart-, hart melt with your soft lips


7) The way u hold my hand so tight


8) The way u never let my hands go


8) How u always watch out for me


9) They way u make sure I have everything I need


10) How u always know what to say when I get mad at you


11) When u buy me things out of the blue


12) How u say the cutest...
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posted by karpach_14
A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then u can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the bier gets drunk.

Ninjas want...
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posted by wisegirl778
Hehe


1: Post an artical like this!
2: Go to the community pool.
3: Try to do as many backflips as possible in one minute.
4: Call your crush and see what he/she says to you.
5: Look up your least favoriete teacher in the phone book and then prank call them saying they ordered three hundred gallon of spoiled mustard
6: Get together with your vrienden and go to the mall of something that guys do
7: Go nightswimming
8: Grab your ipod and lay on your bed listening to every song on it.
9: Look up random people in your yearbook and if u know them call them.
10: Play a prank on your little sibling...
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added by BiteMeCullen107
Stupid pickup lines That guys actually think work on girlsXD

-are u from tennessee; cause your the only ten I see
-did it hurt when u fell from heaven
-excuse me, I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours
-if u were a booger I'd pick u first
-help the homeless...take me home pagina with you
-oh no! I'm choking...I think I need mouth to mouth
-there must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you
-hey I'm looking for treasure, can I look in your chest
-do u have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes
-hello I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart
-hi, I'm new...
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This has probably happened to a lot of u because of taking notes in class.

Have u ever got a little blister of callus because of writing too much on your finger? It's normal. All it is is a small callus from the pen applying a bit too much pressure of rubbing for too long against your skin.

Calluses are not dangerous, but they aren't pretty either. All people who practice something with their hands all the time get them. Playing the gitaar of even cooking a lot can result in calluses.

So u have some calluses and u want to get rid of them. Fine. Use pens that have a little padding and try not to push down so hard on the pen.

u can also do a treatment to get rid of calluses. Put your hands in warm water with citroen for 10 minuten and let them soak. Then dry them off and apply creams of amandel oil to the callus. Use hand cream daily and u will see a difference.

If the callus hurts and does not go away then ask your parents about it. Lol