1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes door waving it and
saying, “Quite right, old bean!”
2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the
overhead projector.
3. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
4. Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
5. When the professor calls your name in roll, respond “that’s my name, don’t
wear it out!”
6. Introduce yourself to the class as the “master of the pan flute”.
7. Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would
go if he died tomorrow....
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