u might be a redneck if

meer than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

u think the stock market has a fence around it.

u think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

Your boot has not left the driveway in 15 years.

Your front porch collapses and kills meer than three dogs.

Your coffee tafel, tabel used to be a telephone cable spool.

u keep a can of Raid on the keuken-, keuken table.

You've ever used a toilet zitplaats, stoel as a picture frame.

Your home pagina has meer miles on it than your car.