'Reign' recap: 'Love & Death' 

Reign is so great is because the actual KING OF FRANCE can be missing, and yet still that is a minor plot point shoved aside to make room for more kissing. What “Love & Death” really focuses on is the romantic drama our royals are facing. Thus, the aforementioned kissing. There’s kissing against walls, kissing in bed, sad kissing, passionate kissing, really just all the kinds of kissing you could want. King Charles can stay missing for all I care, bring me the romance!

Mary and Darnley are getting along swimmingly over in Scotland. It’s been two weeks since they’ve made their engagement official, and their flirt game is strong. There’s horse racing in the woods, splashing each other with water, and lots and lots of heavy petting while leaning against a wall. It seems like, against all odds, Mary and Darnley may actually have some real feelings for one another. There is one huge obstacle for the new couple: England. Elizabeth sends her ambassador over to Scotland to demand Darnley’s return to his homeland. He’s an English subject, and if he doesn’t obey her, there will be consequences. Mary reminds Ambassador Richards and his men that Darnley is a Scottish guest and England and Scotland are at peace with one another — why change things? Darnley tells them that no one “gives a toss” and goes on his merry way.

Elizabeth is, no doubt, enraged by this insolence, so she gives Ambassador Richards permission to bring back Darnley by any means necessary. Mary cannot marry this guy or all is lost. And by all, I mainly mean the ambassador’s head.

Mary and the Scots soon learn about phase two of England’s plan to stop her marriage. They receive a letter from the ambassador informing them that he and some English troops will be swinging by to collect Darnley. They don’t let on as to how many, but James and Mary can see that if the English march on Edinburgh and the Scots attempt to hold their ground, this whole thing could quickly escalate into war. Scotland isn’t ready for war. So even though it’s the night of Mary and Darnley’s big engagement soirée and all of their allies are coming to show support for this marriage, Mary and James think it would be best to get Darnley to a safe house. That way, when the English show up, they can simply say Darnley’s not around. No harm, no foul.

Darnley is incensed. The guy loves to party, apparently. Okay, so he’s more angry that he’ll look like a coward, but still, this is his party! James furiously reminds Darnley that this isn’t about how he looks; it’s about what’s good for the future of Scotland. Darnley spits back that he and Mary are the future of Scotland and James has no place here. He’s a redundancy. Ouch. Things get heated, and I have never been more attracted to either of these characters.

Mary tries to reason with Darnley, who finds it very convenient that Mary’s able to send him away. Any time things between them have gotten a little too hot and heavy, she’s pulled away. Darnley thought they were feeling a mutual passion — maybe he’s wrong. Mary’s done with reasoning, and she commands Darnley to go to the safe house. Which is like the greatest version of “I don’t want to talk about it” a person could ever use.

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