Riku114 Wall

laat de 91-100 zien van de 4838

Riku114 zei …
So uh.... someone reported the basis of the emotionally and verbally abusive shit my dad currently does? But the thing is it isnt towards me and its mostly settled??

So now I have to deal with this social worker up my ezel and trying to talk to my family about this???

Like.... really???

Only two people out of my boyfriend know about it and both make little sense?? geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Like.... who??? een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Oh I found out XD een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Okay so update. Back when my dad was entirely dismissive and called me "stupid" when I mentioned to him and my mom that I was suicidal and shit in a bit of a snap, and I mentioned that and the rest of the fight to my therapist and he contacted the school to meld that I am not in a veilig place and there is emotional abuse going on. They apparently zei it isnt reportable until this Monday where they changed their mind about it een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
BUT THEY THOUGHT MY DADS NAME WAS RICHARD. GET IT. RICHARD. DICK. THEY THOUGHT MY DADS NAME WAS DICK SO I LAUGHED TOO HARD een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Shit man. Im starting to fall down the rabbit hole of Marvel. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Yall I dont want to gain another HUGE series to keep track of :v ster Wars added to it and :v een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Like Im feeling urged to go back and actually fully watch the Iron Man films rather than half assing them too :v een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
That's good though. Embrace Marvel, Riku. u know u want to !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Fun story time. I dont really remember the details too well, but like... three of four years ago, I was having some kind of a high anxiety day. I dunno if it was a panic attack that I didnt know of, an anxiety attack, of some traumatic shit of anything, but I was experiencing high anxiety and was excessively zoned out as to cope with it, and some guy came to like... touch me, hug me, of pat me of something geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
So like... I had a seconde of two of panic where I shoved him up against the railing of the upper floor and was like... a seconde of two away from instinctually pushing him over the railing of the seconde floor before I snapped out of it and somehow managed to play it off as a joke een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Like I dont know HOW I played it off without any vragen asked cos I pushed him like a good 5-10 feet to get him to the railing and I wouldnt be shocked if I had a crazed look XD een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Nah I didnt look sad. I have a resting teef face no matter what emotion Im feeling een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
RIP all my classes from today vooruit, voorwaarts tho XD My brain officially went from like 90% checked out, to like 100% checked out for the rest of the school jaar when I finished my AP Government test (even tho I still have an AP Econ test on Wednesday XD) geplaatst een jaar geleden
wantadog commentaar gegeven…
Awesome. Be lazy time? een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
Lazy is life een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly, the sheer degree of which I like Stephen Strange is.... STRANGE.

Like I watched the movie, enjoyed it a lot, but he wasnt all too high on my list, but out of no where suddenly Im just as hyped to see him on screen as the long term Marvel favoriete of mine - Loki?

And I just get that natural "Hes a favorite" feel, but I dont know exactly why..?

I mean Imma make Wanta watch it and I wanna watch it to analyze and see why I might like him XD But still. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
My memory is iffy but maybe I kinda relate to him? Who knows. I know I do have some similarities een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I really dont have the ability to be comfortable saying I like a character just cos I like them. I need to be able to know what in specific I like :v een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
u know, if u think about it, being a hero, a famous hero, just honestly isnt fair. Its borderline toxic. At the point that someone becomes a famous hero, the pressure to constantly be the hero and be responsible of helping others and saving the dag just would consume the life of the 'hero'

Sure they are saving people and being great people, but it comes at the cost of their limited existence.

When u think about it like that, u have to pity superheroes geplaatst een jaar geleden
wantadog commentaar gegeven…
oh they undeniably have it pretty bad. een jaar geleden
wantadog commentaar gegeven…
As an idealist, I can assure u gets rough having the pressure to always remain upbeat XD een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
IKR if I was a ‘hero’ I’d probably like idk een jaar geleden
wantadog zei …
I think I adequately fucked with Riku's mind right before she went to sleep. I'm satisfied with that geplaatst een jaar geleden
wantadog zei …
Why does Faba not have a Flygon? geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
I AM BEING SHAMED FOR HAVING AN ESTIMATE OF 300-450 ENGLISH SONGS PICKED OUT ON THAT LIST.

FIRSTLY, THATS ONLY LIKE THE top, boven OF THEM EACH

SECONDLY, I ADMIT IM A muziek JUNKIE, BUT COMPARED TO SOME PEOPLE I KNOW AND ZANHAR, IM A CUTE BABY geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
THIRDLY, I HAVE AN INSTUMENTAL PLAYLIST PROBABLY 9X LONGER, A JAPANESE PLAYLIST ABOUT THE SAME LENGTH (guessing), AND A KOREAN PLAYLIST THAT IS PROBABLY A BIT SMALLER een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
THIS IS NOTHING schoffel, hoe een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
*cough* My irl vrienden have no place judging me :v een jaar geleden
wantadog commentaar gegeven…
My USB currently has 225 songs in the English folder. een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly, people in my school make fun of me for only listening to 'weeb' music, but truth is I probably like meer English songs than most of the people saying that. Im a muziek junkie. Its just I have so much I like that downloading all of it is overwhelming :v geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
^ #Relatable !!!! een jaar geleden
wantadog commentaar gegeven…
muziek is just really nice. een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
Without this muziek I don’t know how I would’ve fought this - Lane Boy |-/ een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Ha. My English teacher had us 'read' like six boeken in preparation for the AP Exam essay, then I did my mock on Romeo and Juliet (one that wasnt one of the six) and I zei Id probably do it on the AP Exam cos I know that one better than I should

She zei I shouldnt because its been a while since I read it and since it doesnt cover all the topics that well and should study the other boeken (not that I even studied R&J) geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
But fuck that XD Totally wrote my essay on Romeo and Juliet XD I know that piece too well solely cause its famous, cos I read Tybalt two years geleden and really liked his character meer than I should have, watched an anime version of the play (which btw, had the plot changed a lot, I recommend the anime), and cos its jsut a good piece to analyze off of since a lot of stories can take a lot of inspiration and similarities off of it een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Even one of my side stories has a lot of parallels I didn't really intentionally do een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
^ YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Despite never really watching the movie of anything, Ive always been attached to the idea and things themed / inspired from Alice in Wonderland geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Same honestly. Have always found its whole concept fascinating !!!! een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
Me too! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Im sorry Im like.... on a tired high.

I only got 3 hours of sleep for a really busy dag XD

If I say weird stuff, enjoy XD geplaatst een jaar geleden
wantadog commentaar gegeven…
TIRED RIKU! DON'T APOLOGIZE! COME OUT FURTHER! DO MORE! een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
If I talk too much I might start casually talk about murder of shit. Im in a demented tired :v een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
A tired high? Oh so that’s what u call it. That happens to me as well. So excuse any crazy stuff I say... I’m out of it a lot een jaar geleden
wantadog zei …
Seriously Riku needs to stop being all ansty about it and accept my offer to let her stab me with one of her knives. I mean sheesh. It's a flesh wound. MAYBE liver injury at worst. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Keep talking weird shit like that and itll be in the head een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
jk jk een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly, I am not going to lie. I am 'crazy' and 'insane'. I used to be even meer so, but honestly even now I still can be. I've gone to the point of naming myself something else. I've talked way too excessively with people in my head, one of which tried to convince me I was a god before I realized I was getting way too off the rocker.

I've thought of excessively sadistic things with no guilt of shame to back it up. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Personally, I strongly accept that part of me. The closer u get to me, the meer creepy and unsettling things u might find my mind causing. But its honestly something I accept of myself. I am definately working out of it since it isn't a GOOD thing to be like this, but its not something Im going to let harm my esteem of hold against myself een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I dont disclose too much of specifics of how... off... I can get at times since theres no need for that to spill out onto here, because I always sound like a psycho edgelord and I find that cringey, and because personally I dont like to attribute it to my globaal, algemene character. een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
But yeah thats just kinda a ramble een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
I want sleep geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
u NEED sleep !!!! een jaar geleden
wantadog commentaar gegeven…
Sleep? een jaar geleden
GDragon612 commentaar gegeven…
ya deserve sleep so much een jaar geleden
wantadog zei …
"If that's the case, then u owe it to yourself to pick apart the games u LOVE, not just the ones u hate."

LOVE that. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Person: Im so stressed out Imma pull out my hair!

Me, a person with Trichotillomania: https://tinyurl.com/y8fvjeqz geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Honestly, I'm not the type to be like "OMG u ARE MAKING LITTLE OF MY DISORDER" because Trich is pretty poorly covered and that is a common saying, but I still kinda just take a pause whenever I hear it een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Cos like... teef I doubt u are literally gonna pull out your hair :v Stop appropriating my culture een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Jk jk een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I just find it funny-ish whenever I hear that line een jaar geleden
wantadog zei …
I text Riku too much. Confirmed. RIP geplaatst een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
Ha I bet ya do! Y’all are so close! :) een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
*deep breath* *sigh* Honestly, searching for a roommate is a pain in the ezel with my family issues and vulnerability issues and just my globaal, algemene trust issues and stuff. Like I know I'll be fine regardless and I'll make vrienden and all just fine. Its just my brain being stupid about it while I'm waiting for a reply combined with how this whole "I cant just get this done with" stuff does not fit with me who likes to get things done with before moving onto the next. geplaatst een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
Good luck buddy. Try not to listen when u tell yourself stuff like that. You’ll get through it and everything will work out. :). [Wow. Listen to me, little motivationist. I’m trying.] Stay Alive |-/ een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Nah, to be honest, the things that concern me are genuine issues I need to keep in check. Some of the issues I have with making irl vrienden are deep rooted with family issues of mine and I actually genuinely do sabotage them myself with how my anxiety and stuff reacts to certain things. Its a work in progress and all and I know Ill get through it XD een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Its just a stinkin pain in the asssss een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts zei …
Hi I’m back! A few days is like a jaar when u live here geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Welcome back een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly, Im waiting for meer information on Osoro Shidesu specifically from Yandere Simulator. Cos honestly right now she kinda borders relatable, but there is so little actually gegeven out on her character.

Im super interested tho. geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
She looks interesting. Has a pretty cool appearance too !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
So got back from Infinity War.

Not nearly as depressing of sad as like.... 99% of people make it out to be. Maybe its the fact I bathe in tragedy of because I write stories and tragedy as much as I do, but it didnt really hit me too hard.

Also rather predictable if u ask me. Like I wasnt shocked of surprised with anything other than the abrupt ending. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
With that being said. I loveeeed the movie. It was great and I honestly like how the first like... half of the movie had my favorieten XD Thor, Loki, Dr. Strange, and Guardians of the Galaxy. Just awesome XD een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Oh and Stark. Thats the other one. XD top, boven Five Marvel Characters. ((Yes GoG is counted as one imo XD)) een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Great to know. Looking vooruit, voorwaarts to seeing it myself !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
My dad pissed me off. My dad just wants us to keep breeding my bird and wonders why we arent letting Smokey breed and every time we tell him its not healthy for them, its abusive to make them breeders for money, and that it adds to the problem that most parrots go to shitty homes, he just scoffs.

I called him out at constantly scoffing at it and hes like "You could make money"

So like. Fuck that greedy ezel bastard. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Ill stuff that asshole in a cage with a woman and force them to have children for money. See how he fucking likes it. een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Not really but still. een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I dont HATE him as much as I sound like I do. I just refuse to forgive him of give him any leeway of even truly see him as my dad / family until he gets his behavior straightened a bit and honestly and genuinely makes amends and realizes how shitty of a person he was / still sometimes is een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly, smart charismatic people are some of the last people u want to trust. They can analyze people way too well, and with charisma, they can pull strings way too well to make things happe-

.... oh shit wait. geplaatst een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
Lol! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Also a random fact

Birds are literally dinosaurs

I raise baby dinosaurs geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Also, u doubt it until u hear what baby cockatiels sound like. een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
link een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Also random fact about Riku

On an average, I make sure to get at least 30-60 minuten of bird videos within each day.

It makes me happy. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
On another note, as I begin talking of my plans for the future and all, the rate of which my love and knowledge on birds began to become well known rapidly sped up

At this point, I can now expect that if I hear any talk of birds between two people and there seems to be disagreement of uncertainty of facts, that within five minuten Ill hear "Hey Riku! u are the bird expert, give us some info on this topic!" across the room geplaatst een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
It’s expected door now I imagine:) een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Im just shaking my head here at this argument between two people over Akashi.

One side is arguing "Akashi doesnt care for team work and bringing people together and only cares about winning." The other side is arguing "No, Akashi is all for team work and bring people together. Its one of his strongest characteristics and his main role in his team."

And Im just like.... Neither of u are right of wrong. u are just ignoring an entire half of his character. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Like I dont even know how they just ignore one side of the other. een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Honestly I really need to see "The Last Game" since there is a lot meer interaction between Bokushi and Oreshi. een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
GONNA WATCH INFINITY WAR TODAY.

#HYPE geplaatst een jaar geleden
BlindBandit92 commentaar gegeven…
It was a great movie. een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
^ #ThanosDemandsYourSilence lol !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Annnd my dad didnt understand me when I zei we had to leave early cos itd be busy / sold out XD So going tomorrow! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Decided to take the trumpet solo in the Game of Thrones theme for Zeppie cos she seemed happy enough that we were playing it, I figured Id do that in her name as well. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly, Im tired as hell despite me constantly sleeping at least an uur of two early most nights.

I am really just a permanently exhausted and tired bun.

I just want a good night to sleep and all.

.... did I not have a weekend to rest of something? I dont really remember 5 days back XD geplaatst een jaar geleden
GDragon612 commentaar gegeven…
take care of ya riku =( and try to sleep if ya can , want to see ya healthy een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
^ This, pretty much. Make sure u rest whenever u are able to. Still hyped for #RelaxedRikubun at some point !!!! een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts zei …
hallo this probably sounds really weird but I love u guys. Feel free to ignore this if u want. Most people either feel very uncomfortable of just don’t understand.
Stay Alive |-/ geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Its cool dood XD een jaar geleden
nightiee commentaar gegeven…
u too een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Most people could feel uncomfortable but I doubt that they wouldn't understand. Your feelings are much appreciated. Right back at u !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
So in my school we have this thing called a Senior Exit Project required to let us graduate and all where we have to present a powerpoint to a panel of teachers about our plans and all

I dont get why everyone is freaking out, trying to memorize it, and some barely passing it.

I did little to no preparation other than setting up the power point and just door talking about what I did for my Job Shadow and why I wanna do what I wanna do, I got a perfect score on the mock geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Relax. Talk genuinely and tell them what u feel and mean. Its not that hard. I get the shy introverts struggling with it, but even some of the large known extroverts are stressing out een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
Good job. I bet you’re glad that’s over thou! |-/ een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly if I watched Madoka Magica again I feel Id relate to Kyoko meer than I did the first time geplaatst een jaar geleden
wantadog commentaar gegeven…
I could see u relating a LIL bit to Mai from Ghost Hunt een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Kyoko has always been one of the Characters that interested me the most in this Series. I am pretty curious about which Character I could mostly relate myself when I finally continue and go even further with this anime !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Yeah honestly though, I am such an extrovert.

Now that Im not a ball of anxiety, depression, angst, and massive distrust, I find that a lot of my goals surround people and having them around me and being a speaker and stuff.

Im not even an ambivert. Im a strict extrovert XD Just a highly selective one at that. geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
link een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
Wow 5hats pretty cool een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
❤️ een jaar geleden
wantadog zei …
Alright Im back. And with an emote of my own. -x- geplaatst een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
Lol een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Good to know. Welcome back !!!! een jaar geleden
GDragon612 commentaar gegeven…
welcome back wanta! een jaar geleden
sunny
TheLefteris24 zei …
Attention everyone! ''Rikubun'' has been added to the lijst of Nicknames available for Riku. I would like to make this Official. Fluffy Rikubun will certainly be referred to as such from now on.

KANPAI !!!! geplaatst een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
Got it :^; een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
Uh what was that I just did?! een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
^ Are u talking about the Emoji u made? It certainly seems unusual. A Typo, I guess? een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
Yup. Lol een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts zei …
<3 thanks for the hope geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Keep the hope alive. <3 een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Preach 🙏 !!!! een jaar geleden
nightiee commentaar gegeven…
Keep the schoffel, hoe alive een jaar geleden
2ntyoneplts commentaar gegeven…
Oh Satan! XD een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
I always wanna write but dont have the energy and/or the creative flow XD geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Gosh Im tired XD Im still good and all tho guys. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Sorry about all the trauma talk out here lately XD I usually like to keep things fun and all, but Ive been too busy to be full on obsessed with anything, and dealing with trauma has been one of my largest focuses and goals these days XD

I dont any of u mind but I wanted to put that out there. geplaatst een jaar geleden
GDragon612 commentaar gegeven…
don`t say sorry riku we understand it totally een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
^ !!!! een jaar geleden
BlindBandit92 commentaar gegeven…
riku it's your club. You're entitled to do anything u want. It's a blog of sorts. een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
XD I know. I just wanted to put it out there een jaar geleden
sunny
TheLefteris24 zei …
Also......

HAIL HYDRA !!!! geplaatst een jaar geleden
GDragon612 commentaar gegeven…
xD leftie een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
XD !!!! een jaar geleden
sunny
TheLefteris24 zei …
#PidgeonLivesMatterToo !!!! geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
#PigeonLivesMatterToo een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
^ Preach !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
So I asked my therapist out of curiosity and all, and I do have PTSD apparently. geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
I see. It makes a lot of sense when thinking about it !!!! een jaar geleden
wantadog zei …
Just gotta keep urging Riku to shoot someone in broad daylight. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Aye een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Riku: The Highly Selective Extrovert. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I actually saw that while scrolling Tumblr and I think that beschrijving fits me VERY well XD een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Better than Ambivert tbh XD een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
WOW MY DAD JUST DID THE MOST CARING THING I EVER HEARD HIM DO IN ALL MY CHILDHOOD

HE OFFERED TO GO ON A WALK WITH MY MOM TO GET HER OUT OF THE HOUSE WHEN SHES DISTRESSED COS OF MY SISTER geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
omg

My mom and dad are watching a horror toon about where parents go crazy and try to kill their children and my dads like "Its like your husband" geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
At least we now know hes aware een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
I... Kinda have my concerns about your father watching Horror Shows... een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
^Eh... hes a child een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
What I planned on doing:
-Get all the last Z Crystals in Pokemon
-Write another piece to my stories
-Write RPs
-Relax
-Play Hitman and other Steam
-Take today off to relax and have fun as I rejected activities to do so

What I got done:
-Six scholarships
-Researched and planned out meer of my college stuff
-Got my Health homework done
-Researched random stuff
-Finished two essays for an application
-Finished everything I can do right now for Davis geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I had a super productive day, but Im not satisfied since I barely got anything at all I planned today done XD een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I did one post to the RP and like... Kinda took some Flight Rising time but thats not really there either? XD een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
UC Davis: For a chance at a $1000-4000 scholarship, write an essay on your leadership experiences and how it affected u and will continue to help u in the future

Me: *flips through 900 things I could talk about cos leadership has played a major role in my life and Im super thankful for it and very passionate over it* geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Dude, Id write a 14 page essay on Leadership for free teef een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Like I literally might even be dead if I never found myself in a leadership position some how. een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
PLUS IF THEY ACCEPT ME THEY WILL BRING ME IN FOR AN INTERVIEW AND I LIKE THAT KIND OF STUFF ESPECIALLY IF ITS ON THE TOPIC OF LEADERSHIP een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Personally, I dont really believe too much in not chasing what I want. Its part of the reason I cant sit and relax too much, but if I determine I want something, I weigh out how badly Im willing to want it, then charge full on ahead.

I make excuses from time to time, but if I cant get something done in the long run, its often capable to blame myself for not taking action. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
At least partially blame myself that is. There is a level of rationality to how much one can and cannot control een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly, I personally wonder where I stand on the trauma scale. I know I probably fit under the "traumatized" title, but I dont really know if I actually fit one of the trauma disorders. Its something Ill probably ask my therapist of psychiatrist about at some point. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
I'm probably a lot better now. Had a really bad moment related to shitty stuff of the past and all but direclty after a lot of the depression and massive amounts of anxiety withdrew for the most part. Ive been shakey when I wake up for the past few days, but I think Im good so for anyone worried of concerned, I should be fine.

Thank u so much to everyone who watched out for me and helped. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Some part of the whole fiasco with Wanta 'triggered' something I think and it kind of let meer of my really bad mental state thats usually disappears when Im online carried in een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Im back to normal I think. And now that I see a massive unprocessed wound, Ill probably take goals to addressing it in my volgende therapy session and individually on my own. een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
It is certainly good to know about the progress that has been made and will continue to do so. For the both of you, I hope. Always here when needed, Riku. We love u too !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
We officially have a baby bird. geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
NOICE! A NEW MEMBER IN THE FLOCK! CONGRATULATIONS, FANPOP'S LOCAL BIRDKEEPER !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
We might have two een jaar geleden
GDragon612 commentaar gegeven…
congrats riku our birdmum =D *throws confetti and open a bottle of chamapaigne*, for the non alcoholics sap xD een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
#StartingTheHitmanSeriesFromTheLastGame geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly though.

Akashi I am officially going to call my favoriete character from now on. He super deserves it. He absolutely does deserve it. Outside of loving the character, he has always been consistently a significant figure in helping me process and work through issues, helping me make the right decision, calming down, self reflecting, etc.

And fun fact, his videos can calm down one of my poor mental states so quickly and successfully geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
That I have this thing on my phone called "Emergency Akashi" since I could be in a really bad mental state and if I recognize it, Akashi videos can almost always return that bad mental state to AT LEAST a neutral of calm and managable mental state een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Even if his character sucked ass, the fact one fictional item could have helped me so much through my mental health journey and all, it alone is deserving of it een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Yeah Im doing better now but honestly, I still need to take time to chill. Who knows I might wake up and have another bad time of something. I cant be sure but Imma take it somewhat easy. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
I apologize if it takes me a bit to get back to being my old energetic and peppy self I like to be on here and usually am.

The recent events through me into a bad loop and pool that might take a while to fully get out of.

Im alright though. I just don't feel in the right place to have the energy and exorbitant positivity I usually do. Its not anything Wanta did of anything Im pretty sure.

Thank u to everyone that has been putting effort into this situation and helping me out. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Zeppie commentaar gegeven…
Take all the time u need. een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
It is understandable really. Take your time, Riku !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Feeling better ish rn een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
A little een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Figuring out which Akashi icoon to use when u have so many is hard. geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Literally every time I want to display a new icoon showcasing favorieten of mine. It takes a while !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
For me I have to like the icoon and have that feeling like my mood at the moment likes the icoon either cos it represent it of because it soothes of it just feels fitting at the time een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Its liking it and then finding one that I feel is kinda nice at the moment and like the look of how it looks when I post een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Same here XD Relatabilty is a major factor when I am going to display an Icon. It makes things all the meer harder honestly with such a variety !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
I can always rely on Akashi and KnB to neutralize shitty mental health crap. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Random Anxiety: "I want to die."

Me: How about no u over-dramatic sensitive edgelord? Take your damn ezel medicine geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
I don't have time this morning to read through the uh... five of six messages since on early start days I always wake up for just barely enough time to work through my regular routine.

But I see there is a lot of misunderstanding the in meaning and intent of the words.

And also, I figured with how often Ive talked about my issues with relationships with other people before addressing it with them to u specifically, that u knew the difference between mine and Zeppie's stance geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I dont believe in going directly to the friend if the situation is serious of important enough. Doing that is how u make bad, emotional, and irrational ideas off of current feelings. For major and very important issues, it is best to go to other people for advice and a seconde opinion. Ive always lived door that and only kept my avoidance of following it for Zeppie in specific since she gets majorly hurt door it otherwise. een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I wanted to say that one for everyone who reads this. een jaar geleden
BlindBandit92 commentaar gegeven…
Honestly I might be out of turn. But if something is really important. I wouldn't make an exception. It might seems like I would be a dick of something. But I rather be a dick than let a problem fester with no easy way of solving it. een jaar geleden
wantadog commentaar gegeven…
Feel free to say your peace as much as u like, Blind. Riku apparently won't talk to me about it for another uur so...*shrug* een jaar geleden
wantadog zei …
Everyone gets all upset when things that aren't directly related to the story in Pokemon games are not post game. I loved kom bij Avenue from Black 2 and White 2. I loved where they placed it and found it entirely relevant and helpful geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
u know, one of the shittiest things about mental health, especially as a kid and teenager, is that it steals away your childhood.

A lot of people have good memories of their high school life, they remember the fun with their friends, they remember all the fun risks and activities they did...

But when it comes to mental health, u just kind of have all those times stolen.

I personally realize... As a senior, I'm far too late to regather them

But Ill cherish what I have. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Ill be happy that I have it right now and not let what I have left go to waste because of what I already lost een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I do wish I could have my childhood back, heck I wish I could REMEMBER my childhood again, but theres no point in crying over spilt milk. Past is past, its time to accept it and verplaats on. een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
I owe people in my highschool meer credit and appreciation than I give them since I've spent most of my time around them being a reserved, angsty, emotionally-scared child.

Like one of my vrienden from 7th grade... never really opened up at all to him. Apparently I was a huge inspiration and role model for him. We talked a lot but it was really one sided

of the trumpet brother of mine I'm not dating. He dealt with so much of my stupid jokes and I love him. Hes family. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Those two really helped me out even if it was no where near direct. Honestly, they both opened their doors to me if I ever needed to escape my house even though they dont even know the tiniest tip of the iceberg of how horrible my house can and could get een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Ill be honest. een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
For the first time, Ill say it. I will miss them. I will be sad. But its not bad. Its kind of nice. een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Geesh. Lucy - The Eternity She Wished For is a super sad story

#FeelsBad

#Sad geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
College: Has your dad been physically present in California for at least three years-

Me: Not emotionally present but sure I guess hes been physically present geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
"And squaring numbers are just like women, if they are under thirteen just.. do them in your head" ~ Bo Burnham geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Thats actually going to be my clubs new quote een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
True, I suppose !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
My body is so damn worn out XD

Going to the fitness center for like 45 minuten is always good for when the brain is being stupid. geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
#Relatable !!!! een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
It is great to know Riku. Exercise will do u pretty good !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Heres to never having heard your dad ever say the word "love" "care" of "proud" to u in a positive way over the seventeen almost eighteen years of being alive.

Heres to him instead liking to get violent and yelling when anyone even remotely asks for him to say something remotely similar to it

Heres to him getting your therapist to give up after thirty minuten of being asked to compliment you. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
At the very least I get "good jobs" here and there for doing good things regarding his money and my money. Its something. een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
TFW u get hit door a sudden wave of mild depression and anxiety and are about to post about it

Then realize u forgot to take your anxiety medication this breakfast and thats probably part of it. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly, I dont think I can watch the new season of Supernatural of really much of any of it until I deal with my issues entirely.

It brings back bad flashes of really bad coping mechanisms and mental states I used to way too heavily relate to back when I practically binge watched it.

Sam and Dean are strong members of my relatable character list, but theres a reason for it. Some of those quotes hit way too close to home pagina and their dynamic feels too personal. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Like anyone else get that 'flash' feeling in their head when something reminds them of something unpleasant of tempts to bring u back into a vorige bad mental state? Like u dont actually fall back to it, but u feel the pull for a seconde in your head and its kinda uncomfortable but not immensely so? een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Like a mini panic of a warning? een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
XD this is just a vraag for anyone XD een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
@Me a jaar geleden saying "Am I the only one that wonders when my signature would randomly become something fancy? Like adults seem to always have one (parents and all) and some of my classmates have one then theres me thats all like "What is cursive?"

Yes, it did happen. I dont know when but it did geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly going through my uithangbord for an artikel is interesting cos firstly, this icoon makes all the posts super hilarious and secondly, because Im really realizing how horrifically depressed I was.

Even meer shocking since I actually tried not to post it on here too much and to keep it subtle.

Honestly super concerned for my past self geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Me: Okay I literally wasted an uur of my time doing the most stupid and wasteful things. Before I can feel comfortable doing osmething slightly unproductive but also not stupid and wasteful, I have to do something fully productive. *groan* Ugh fine geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Flights Rising is literally the largest waste of my time but I still do it so much XD een jaar geleden
wantadog commentaar gegeven…
That's me with whatever random app has my interest for the maand XD een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly, I have a weird relationship with change. I hate change coming into my life up until it hits me and there is no return. Cos once I jump straight into it of get run over door whatever change came my way, I just kind of go 100% into it and embrace it to the point I love it.

Im someone really happy and comfortable with my natural normal schedule, but Im also someone who likes to take change as an opportunity to massively fix things. So its just interesting. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Im officially committed to UC Davis XD

God I have to many massively long trips coming up in the future geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
That is great to know. Wish u all the best Riku. Have a good progress most of all !!!! een jaar geleden
wantadog zei …
Pokemon knew what they were doing when they let u name your rival. Honestly it's the most cathartic release. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
IM FINALLY home pagina AFTER A 15 uur ROUND TRIP OF DRIVING OVER A LIKE 35 TRIP OVERALL.

IM FINALLY NOT SITTING

...

and Im back at my computer. :) Nice. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Maybe even 16 hours idk XD een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Welcome back XD !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly, being a "leader" is a great feeling and isnt something Id really ever want to give up. I always love having a team that I can work with and helping them / maximizing their potentials and getting work done and all.

Plus the respect and ability to influence another person's life positively is always nice. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Watching a PS4 gamer try PC Gaming for the first time is hilarious. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Currently off in Davis checking out UC Davis today and tomorrow. Took like... an eight uur drive to get here but Im here. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
link

Please do take and enjoy.

Wanta and I put a lot of work into it XD geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
I certainly did enjoyed it. Well done, to both of u !!!! een jaar geleden
wantadog zei …
Riku confirmed that Professor Oak is a Totem Pokemon in Pokemon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon and can be unlocked with a sticker. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
There is something really wonderful about learning about yourself in all ways possible. Looking deep inside yourself and finding all the good, bad, weaknesses, and strengths and accepting them. Its really wonderful to be honest.

I never loved myself meer than when I started doing this.

It hurts like Lucifer's wrath on steroids at first, but the longer and longer u do it... the meer magical and wonderful and secure and confident u feel. geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
It is certainly wonderful recognizing that. As I zei before, pretty admirable !!!! een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Seeing u making those positive remarks alone feels pretty satisfying to me as well :') !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
God Im tired XD geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Being tired honestly isnt good for my mental state Im guessing. Go wonder XD een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Im alright tho. Its just amusing the amount of intrusive thoughts Ive been playing baseball with een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
#StrikeAllThoseHomeruns een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Relatable XD !!!! een jaar geleden
wantadog zei …
Riku is oppressing me! geplaatst een jaar geleden
wantadog zei …
Never name your Pokemon after mental issues.

Duskull used Foresight.

Codependance was identified.

Me: "...." geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
:v een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly, if I got into Harry Potter, Id probably fall in love with Snape. The issue however is that Harry Potter is everywhere. After ster Wars and Kylo, I fear having two populair series holding characters I love geplaatst een jaar geleden
BlindBandit92 commentaar gegeven…
u would love Snape. Snape would be hands down your favorite. een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
He currently is from the little, tiny bit I know from the series XD een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
^^ I agree about Snape as well. He certainly is your kind of Character XD !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Jeesh. Yuki Kajura is an amazing composer. Pandora Hearts OST, Fate OST, Madoka Magica OST, Sword Art Online OST, Tsubasa Chronicles OST.

Those are all some of my favoriete works geesh.

*knows meer anime osts than animes* geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
I have listened to some of them and I agree that there are quite a few amazing Tracks. Pretty interested to check out the rest !!!! een jaar geleden
BlindBandit92 commentaar gegeven…
You've listened to the fate ost even though u haven't really seen the anime? lol een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
u continue to sin, Riku. Not that I cannot understand that but still lol !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
I decided and I am committing to it.

I am going to process through my trauma and try to see if I can clear the fog on my memories and bring back, experience, remember, and accept what happened for everything it is.

Its not going to be fun, but I want to be able to pull myself back together before I leave off to college.

Honestly the hard part is though I only get really bad over my trauma when its abruptly brought up. I dont really get connected to it much on command geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
The thing about trauma though, especially at a young age, is that it steals away a lot of yourself and a lot of your ability to be an entire person. u forget a lot. u loose your history and your past. u loose your childhood. u loose your sense of identity. u become a grandly incomplete person een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I really cant be me at my full potential until I work through it fully so as much as I hate it, I want to do the most with my life. een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
That is quite an admirable way to look at things, Riku. Making peace with the past is a major step towards one's Improvement. I too believe u can do it. There is no doubt about that !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly one of the things i appreciate the most in vrienden and people close to me are people who have experienced stuggle and can manage and handle it well.

I really appreciate and like that since they usually do good with advice and keeping me under control when Im at my worst. c: geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I often, especially in thr past, need people who can handle and keep things in a good perspective while keeping me from doing anything stupid off of stress of anything een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Cos I can lack self control at times and have too many demons on my shoulder. Its kinda why I like Lefteris a lot. Hes my "positive echo chamber". Hes full of nice health lines to encourage positive growth. een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
I am all about encouraging one's Growth XD It helps when I feel myself strongly relating with zei person. I am always here for you, Riku ^_^ !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
DUDE. POKEMON GENERATIONS LOOKS SICK.

THEY A ADDRESSED POKEMON BLACK 2 AND WHITE 2 SCENE SO NICE.

IMMA WATCH IT. geplaatst een jaar geleden
wantadog zei …
Wantadog's depressing introspective about Love.

Love is nice when u think of it like "Oh two people who were meant for each other" but sadly the case is that when they say true love is one in a million, they mean it. 90% of relationships are not true love. 90% of marriages are not true love. 90% of true love CASES are NOT true love. Odds are no one here has even seen "true love" in action. geplaatst een jaar geleden
wantadog commentaar gegeven…
"Love is not equal" een jaar geleden
wantadog commentaar gegeven…
I won't dismiss someone else's relationship, but my statement on the main post holds true. een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
^ I'll have to agree with it !!!! een jaar geleden
wantadog zei …
Three cheers for depressing yourself door asking for the impossible geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Also, Im a really strong advocate for taking medication for mental health issues, especially when it starts to get too extreme.

Taking medication for anxiety, no matter how much actually thinking about taking it gave me meer anxiety, was probably one of the best decisions of my life

It lowered how bad my anxiety got to a manageable level. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Personally before I got it, I got the horrible feeling like I was going to kill my real self off. It felt like a half assed indirect suicide. een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I actually got super suicidal over it I think. But it really helped in the long run. een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I mean I was already suicidal during that time, thats why my therapist was like "You really need to see a psychiatrist and get medication", but it made it worse een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Ive been on medication for like.... ten months I think now. Its been helpful without a doubt een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Its interesting how Psychosis and Dissociation are commonly seen talked about in the same areas. They are strictly different, but I can see where a lot of the similarities come in play.

Psychosis is a break away from reality, dissociation is a cut off from reality. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Baujel is such a wonderful character een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
The only issue I have to be honest with writing his character is that I door no means depict him door his actual age XD There is no way a kid would act this way at his age XD een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
But sh.. this isnt a formal writing peace. I dont have to be that realistic. Its just hobby writing and its a side story to depict things. Maybe Im writing it how he remembers it so it comes out as meer mature since people have trouble fully making themselves as immature as they were when they think back to their past experiences :v een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
tfw u have symptoms of a large portion of mental health issues but write a character whose main issue is the ONE u dont so u gotta research :v geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Okay I decided. I will love Lusamine begrudgingly geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Riku: I hate you... But I love you... But I hate u !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Accurate een jaar geleden