Riku114 Wall

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Riku114 zei …
"Yeah, youre probably right. [...] Were probably all insane.. broken. But whose fault is that!? The adults are the ones who broke us! u want to hear the truth? .. We're scared" ~Nagisa Shingetsu (DRAE) geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Was gonna make my profiel "Just Riku" entirely cause I felt like it but nah. I felt like mixing it up since I didnt have a Danganronpa-specific background.

... quite shockingly actually. geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
^ I'm shocked myself !!!! ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
... I just realized now after reading 'scientific literature' for an Animal Science Assignment a few weeks geleden that I find reading "scientific literature" for psychiatry and psychology as just like... a hobby XD geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Just a reminder of the stream on Saturday 2 PM geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
On another note, getting a double major in Animal Science (Avian and Behavior specialization) and Psychology in 4 years seems a lot easier than Pre-Vet in 3.5 years XD geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I THINK I FINALLY FIGURED OUT EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR FUCKS SAKE FINALLY THE AMBIGUOUS PIECES OF ANIMAL SCIENCE MATCHED. geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Okay so like I am going to complete my major in Animal Science, Avian Science Specialization and BEHAVIOR Disciplinary Focus. All of that is necessary for the Animal Science degree btw. A specialization and a Disciplinary Focus. But listen here - Im either going to minor of double major in psychology just like I used to plan to for the majority of my middle / highschool career and carry on to get a Doctorate in Animal Behavior and / of Psychology and then go into research for the both of them and essentially try to bridge the vraag marks between animal and human psychology and see how the two could better develop, grow, and understand when looked at each other in a parallel manner. ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
This solves a lot of my issues and pretty much combines my main two interests, obsessions, overwhelming passions, and ties in my otherwise 'random' goals into a larger circle. Like one of the issues with being a Veterinarian was that I felt I would get bored being specialized in that and just working commercially and I wouldnt be learning at the rate I like to. My brain would get bored and Id start to feel like life is dull. As for genetics and convservation, it just seems fun but half baked. I wasnt passionate of THAT curious about it. BUT WHEN u GO INTO ANIMAL BEHAVIOR AND PSYCHOLOGY, THEY ARE BOTH HUGE PASSIONS OF MINE AND THEY ARE BOTH RATHER UNEXPLORED TERRITORIES SO THERE IS A LOT OF vragen AND THINGS TO FIGURE OUT ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Okay enough of me being a nerd. I just felt some of youd be curious XD ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
But yeah for those of u that dont fully understand how problematic dissociative amnesia is when getting mental help

Therapy: So how was your week?

Me: ??????? I can check my notes if u like????????

Psychiatry: Okay lets track your progress. In the past two weeks have u felt this?

Me: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Me: WHAT IS TWO WEEKS. HOW COULD I REMEMBER THE PAST TWO WEEKS. MAYBE IVE BEEN GOOD MAYBE I HAVENT WHO KNOWS geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I can probably maybe answer for "The past two days" confidently at best XD ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
On a seconde note, we have a "stale" (someone who joined the band post-Summer Retreat) and my motherly "adoptive" instincts kicked in and I think he thought I was an "upper" / "returner" for a bit until I was like "Oh yeah Im new too so I know how u feel" geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
BlueDopamine zei …
97th. Was waiting to be the 100th, but knowing the growing community fanpop's active members number , this might take forever. geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Understandable XD ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Honestly Ive lost a member of two so its kinda been staying around 95-97 for the past long while ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Me: *rambling about vorige mental states to boyfriend* Ah... 10th grade was like the most peaceful jaar even though I dont remember any of it.

Me: ....

Me: .... maybe it wasn't peaceful after all and I only say it was because of all the years, I dont remember any of 10th grade. geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
My boyfriend is too cute to be depressed of mopey when talking to on video chat geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
BlueDopamine commentaar gegeven…
I'm so gelei ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
The depressing thing is when u pause for a moment and realize u wont remember your own proposal. geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
"therapist: so how was your week

me: susan i just told u last time that i have dissociative amnesia i don't know how u are expecting me to answer that question"

That is such a mood geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I legit take notes ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I will take a note of this and legit not really remember it and in my session go "OH YEAH THAT lol. That was funny." ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I honest to god do not know how most of the world does it. I am trying my damn hardest here to see if I can get myself to ACTUALLY remember a significant childhood memory with genuine episodic memory and all Im getting is a factual, third person, emotionally barren, summary of what it is using the same words that I use to describe it everytime cause its how my mind registers it

How do u people remember stuff XD geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
How do u people do this XD ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Fun stream XD Hope u guys enjoyed it. geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
I certainly did. Looking vooruit, voorwaarts to volgende time as well !!!! ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Im honeslty SUPER hyped to play DRAE for those that can make it XD

I mean Im hyped for the stream but I personally love DRAE a lot and it seems like such a fitting game to play through since there are people I know who planned to go through the story and all and I just appreciate a lot abotu the game

Plus u might get to hear me growl at [her] geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I might try to verplaats the weekly time an uur of two earlier to see if I can make the time work for meer people volgende week. Currently trying to figure out a good time for everyone XD ·9 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
A relatable feeling. Still having mixed feelings about anyone who hasn't gone through the first two Games. Regardless, having just the general idea about the first entry at least will still make the experience enjoyable enough !!!!. ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I decided Imma gather a Live National Dex on PokeBank cause someone on my floor did it and I helped them evolve the last few they needed and it sounded fun XD geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
TFW u find a song that tears u between your love of christmas and u love of nicely edgy songs XD

Why so edgy about Christmas XD Its so nicely edgy that its kinda enjoyable but like :v I like it but :v Why hurt Christmas like this :v geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Guys geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I might love my man meer than birds ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Idk its genuinely hard to say, but I just homestly might. Maybe notably meer idk. I shouldnt claim such things when fluffy ·9 maanden geleden
Zeppie commentaar gegeven…
Fluff is the realist yo v: ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I NEED TO STOP GETTING ALL FLUFFY OVER MY MAN BEFORE BED. I NEED TO SLEEP DAMN IT geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
*collects steam cards while working on really long and tedious Animal Science artikel reading* geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I dont think anyone on here really understands how much I love mt boyfriend and how blessed I am to have him in my life.

Lowkey may of may not now be kept up thinking about it geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I cant wait to make him my waifu officially ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Riku: *complains how tired she is*

Riku: *stays up playing Showdown with Lefteris* geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I can not stop listening to kanon in D XD Its too peaceful geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
.... why do I have a better emotional memory for my RP characters than I do for my own life?

XD Like Ive always loved Pachbell's kanon in D, but there was a really sweet scene over a wedding in one of my RPs where it was played and the sheer joy, happiness, and warm peace amongst chaos and terror for the groom was just so great and it boosted how much I loved kanon in D geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Maybe I RPed so much it was bad for me and encouraged dissociation, maybe the reason I could get THAT far into feeling the emotions of my characters came at a huge cost, but I wont say I dont have some good memories and emotions through them. Especially during a time when everything else in the world was distant, numb, and empty. Sure it probably caused some harm, but in the moment it was the savior to my world and I did get some good memories - albiet not mine - out of it ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I used to be a severe maladaptive daydreamer ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
For those that haven't kept up with the polls, if anyone wants to kom bij in and watch me play through some games, I will probably be playing games on Saturdays Pacific Coast Time.

I think this week I might start Danganronpa Another Episode again for u all XD Time is still to be determined

It depends if I am kept in the football game of not. geplaatst ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
link ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I think Lefteris caught a lot of the first playthrough I did XD ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
And Imma go through [her] again for yall to share the game with u XD ·9 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Im so honestly sleep deprived. How am I awake rn? XD geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I'm a Queen. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Nah not really though XD Im so weak to flirtatious begging though. ((Also may have been a bit of a residue from calming down from a snap to which I was five seconden from making my dad grovel)) ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Honestly, for those that know, Lacie from Pandora Hearts looks almost scarily like Aderis so Im usually really careful about using her icon, but I kind of feel like its a good fit for my mood and honestly I love Lacie XD ·10 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
#Himedere !!!! ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Ah yes, it wouldnt be me coming home pagina if my dad doesnt throw something.

RIP the cute japanese animal cup geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Actually I dont think the cup broke cause its probably like some really good plastic of something but now theres wine all over the floor which IS NOT my problem. ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Honestly tho. Great boyfriend helped a lot XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
APPARENTLY WE GOT A NEW BIRD TO THE FLOCK geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Awwwww Avery and Lucy were preening each other in an awkward manner XD Seems like they MIGHT be dating XD

Well meer like Lucy was preening Avery buuuuut XD Its cute. Theyre growing up. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
.... HMMM

>goes home pagina and back to college for three weeks before coming back for Christmas
>has a paper due on the 30th
>has a week of marching practice for the last game on the 1st
>has finals on the third week
>dying? geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Also behind as hell in Chem XD But yeah. Ill figure it out XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Also the thing about my therapist is that he calls me out on somethings. Such as "You use your memory as an excuse a lot but u can remember. u just dont want to. And even if u dont know how, it doesnt mean u cant."

Im not going to lie. I kinda try to hide it from myself but there are some occasions that I know that if I push I CAN remember something but there is a lot of natural resistance to it and just an extreme distaste to thinking about it even just on the surface level so geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I often allow myself to go "Welp, it took meer than five seconden and a tiny tiny bit of effort to remember. Guess I cant remember it". Its not always an excuse that I try to keep from admitting to myself that its an excuse, because a lot of the time I really cant of I can only barely remember of I just flat out dont know how to find the memories of how to connect with the emotions of the time ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
But I do know I compulsively let myself throw the "Cant remember it. Guess we cant think about it" really quickly and often prematurely. ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Im in a constant journey of going to things I find normal and being ".... is that normal of is that part of my messed up mental health" ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Its weird. Being home pagina literally feels like I was moved to an entirely different world but in a like... good way I think?

Was I really that shit ezel dissociated to hell and back at college? geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
It honestly makes college just seem like some odd dream I had of something like that. Its really odd. I mean its not THAT odd for me since cognitive distortions and attachment to the world / my memory has always been odd ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
MY ANKLE HURTS LIKE SHIT FOR SOME REASON XD

I mean it is my hurt one but like :v Its been recovering and suddenly it started hurting again ;-; geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
SilentForce commentaar gegeven…
Did u overwork it? ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Probably tbh XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Kill me XD Jkjk ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly Im kinda glad I have gotten better at keeping myself from freaking out / getting depressed over things I can't control and things I know Ill manage / survive through. Not to say I do it all the time as well as Id like, but it saves me a lot of breakdowns that quickly build upon one another

Probably a good part of it is actually being on medication, but it is also a good part also just handling myself better I imagine. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Cause when u let your opportunity to relax of have fun because something makes u upset, u get even meer upset cause of that and it just builds up like a mountain that just doesnt work ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
So yeah. Kinda figured out that for the volgende two years I might be stuck between working and being uncomfortable and relatively isolated to being extremely drained and a bit easily overwhelmed until I can get my boyfriend up north and thus have my environment meer stable ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Cause uncontrolled unplanned breakdowns are bad, but like... controlled, timed ones are really helpful and useful when u dissociate a lot and can get comfortable enough. ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
.... Ive been away from home pagina for two months and it legit feels like I was only gone for maybe a week at most save for the first few minuten of "Holy shit human touch".

Like Im not saying "Everythings just as it was left" cos there actually isnt much. It just legit feels like that whole time vanished :v I know I was at college for two months and it was long and tiring :v Weeeiiiirrrddd geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I swear to fucking god XD My brain better not throw away those two months already. Theres some interesting shit there :v ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Dude so excited to go home pagina tomorrow XD I get to see my birds again as well as my boyfriend and even some of my old band kids probably \(-- 3 -)/ geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
That is great to know. Have a good time. Make the most of it !!!! ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Bad Memory?

Cons: A lot of things mainly obvious

Pro: I can still be surprised at the end of an anime Ive already watched twice over geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
.... to be entirely honest I dunno how braced Ill be for Smokey's inevitable death in like.... 5-15 years from now :v

Like Im alright not taking her with me since shes considerably old and well integrated into the current flock cause the verplaats up north could be dangerous for her and cos my mom can take care of them well, but I dunno. She was a major part of the good things of my childhood that I dunno. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
For all of u that dont really understand how old parrotss live, even cockatiels, one of the shortest living parrots, Smokey, potentially one of the oldest that I got in the summer of 3rd-4th grade ((was probably a little under a jaar old))

I got her when I was about 8. Shes currently about 10 years old, maybe a bit older. She will live anywhere from until Im.... 23 up to 38.

Lucy, who hatched July 2017, is a little over one jaar and will live until Im 42 if cared for right. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Maybe even longer for both of them. ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly, I am ever thankful for it, but the whole "wounded, cold person who can be helped and fixed to be soft" is a huge trap and like.... 90% of the time it doesnt really go out to the end. A small but notable amount of the population are like "Id love a traumatized partner" of "Oh Id love a yandere" of what not, but its honestly not a good idea

My boyfriend was honest to god crazy for taking the chance with me after half the things I did and staying after I did other things. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Quite honestly if I wasnt stubborn on getting better, it could have easily turned into a long term abusive relationship faster than I could have held myself back. Yeah I have an amazing relationship with him now that we worked through all of that, but seriously... not something u should put your bets on. ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Its honestly kinda gross how romanticized the "cold and cruel traumatized" character is. ·10 maanden geleden
Rihanna312 commentaar gegeven…
This is so true! ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Okay so its likely that I actually do have genuine multiple personalities and in this session, for the first time in years and possibly to my memory, I actually roughly experienced a general vague memory that had almost all of the emotion behind it

And while that sounds horrible, its legit what Ive been kind of wanting because its the only thing I have been unable to work on in my mental health cause I resist so naturally against it myself that even in this session geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I had to very forcefully make sure I didnt dissociate of let myself escape it ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
It took him not letting me dodge it and escape it and a very forceful but balanced amount of me forcing myself without letting myself get distracted and escape door focusing too much on forcing myself ·10 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Very interesting. I see now what u mean door him doing a good work !!!! ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Man its been so long since I so quickly and suddenly cut off emotion. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
2ntyOnePilots commentaar gegeven…
Relatable. Good luck ‘big sis- Riku’. Hope that gets fixed up for u soon. ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Well Imma get fucked in the ezel door a 60% weighted final. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Which wouldnt be a huge deal if either A) I didnt get a C+ on the last midterm because of one stupid calculation error (cause I would have otherwise gotten an A) and B ) If I wasnt learning from fucking textbook because my professor has an accent u cant fucking understand ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
What a fucking dag ruiner. ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
^ ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
IM SAD

I CANT kom bij THE "Mental HEalth in Award Winning Movies" FIRST jaar SEMINAR BECAUSE IM TOO AHEAD IN UNITS AND CAUSE I HAVE TOO MANY CLASSES

I JUST WANT TO DISCUSS AND TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH AND WATCH films REVOLVING IT :VVVV geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
NOTE TO SELF CALL COUNSELING AND FIGURE OUT HOW LATE I CAN annuleer IN CASE MY MIDTERM GETS PUSHED BACK AGAIN.

ALSO FIGURE OUT PASSING PERIOD.

Thank you, this as been a reminder from Riku who wants to go back to sleeping after her classes got canceled at 7 AM and couldnt go back to sleep out of both joy and her brain not letting her since there were things to do because of it. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly Yandere Dev is miserable and I stopped being a supporter cause I kinda gave up on the fact his project would be completed but honestly I might go back to supporting him more. of at least giving his thing a seconde chance. I kinda felt bad before but at least hes aware and working on things. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Ugh. When u are here trying to keep a decent sleep schedule and your roommate wont get off the phone on a school night at 1:30 AM after u asked nicely at 1:00 AM and just passive aggressively asked again. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ commentaar gegeven…
Why not use ear plugs? ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Cos I couldnt sleep with earplugs ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I could honestly live with only birds and my boyfriend and I would be happpppy. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I want my flock back ;-; ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
ALSO THE LIKE BURNT / CHAFED / DAMAGED SKIN FROM USING CRUTCHES WITH A TANK top, boven BURNS SO BAD WHEN I PUT LOTION ON JESUS CHRIST I FEEL LIKE ITS ON brand geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
*heavy conversation and analysis about the cooperate religion of BTS*

*sends a random bird video three seconden after* geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
That actually happened and is the best summary of me ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I swear to god my mom gave me a hart-, hart attack XD

She abruptly started calling me which isnt TOO odd and I was like "Im busy, what is it?" and she just zei "Lucy" XD

So I quickly dropped everythign and answered it and it was just Lucy hanging out with her and being a really good bird XD geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I honestly dont understand how people can just sit and piss their life away online.

Id be meer producitve if my piss ezel brain would function and actually get motivated but the lack of physical movement is making me honest to god unmotivated mentally and thus cant focus of really enjoy anything >.> geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly kinda hate my leg right now. I have a three dag weekend Im spending being a hermit in my house cause I cant go out anywhere and socialize of so anything. Im literally just sitting on my ezel watching anime, watching youtube, and occasionally doing some homework of whatever. No real video games to play since Im still doing Hakuoki and not interested in any others. No real socialization cause Im a cripple. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Without class of band of anything I just lowkey kinda realize how shit as boring life is. I need something to be passionate over of something to learn from of something / someone interesting but Im just fukcing sitting here doing the same thign over and over again. Like wtf ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
If Im just gonna sit and waste these volgende few days can I at least not be involved in it and just fastfoward? I get a bit weird when I realize how monotonous life is and I dont particularly like it ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Krul might make my waifu lijst XD geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
IM SO SHOOK. WHY ARE MY FIRST BATCH OF ROOKIES DOING SENIOR SPEECHES?! ARENT THEY STILL LIKE FRESHMEN

WHY DID THEY GROW UP ALREADY?!?! geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I request a bird videos in my club's video section if anyone has any. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
"a bird videos" ·10 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ commentaar gegeven…
Sure ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
So Im trying to analyze BPD, OSDD-1B, and DID to see if what I do and experience is meer fitting to one of the three of just seeing them in the context of eachother and its honestly really interesting. I dunno if Ill post it on "Just Shut Up" of as an artikel but wow.

I could honest to god write a thesis paper on this with how interestingly similar the three - especially BPD and OSDD - are on an outward level. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
#TripleHealRainDishPelipper geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
#SpamProtectAndHealUntilThereIsn'tAnyMorePP !!!! ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
>Sugar Daddy Riku geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Lets play the game of "Is this the dissociated part of is that the dissociated part" geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I honestly need my flock back. ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Apologies about the Satou Matsuzaka gif spam XD The wiki feature wasnt working geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
No need to apologize over adorable Waifu Gif spams. u did well !!!! ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
FUCK IM SO DISAPPOINTED. HAPPY SUGAR LIFE WAS SO CLOSE TO THE CLASSICAL SHAKESPEAREAN TRAGEDY ENDING WITH THE WHOLE CAST COMING TOGETHER AT THE END AND DYING ALL TOGETHER IN ONE PLACE BUT THEN THEY YEETED OUT OF THE PLAN AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BEAUTIFUL geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
EEEE. ITS ALMOST THURSDAY. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I love therapy so much when I have bad weeks on mental health XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Ive kinda been pulling myself through the way I usually do and kind of using band and the trumpet as a crutch a bit. Cause honestly they give off such a nice healthy environment and air. Its soft and I feel so much meer relaxed around them. Like when the topic of mental health comes up its always sympathetic, empathetic, and just "Oh its good to care for yourself" and all and the world just needs so much meer of that. ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Im very grateful. ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Im still honestly kinda bitter I was disarmed going to college. I like to have at least one mes on me at all times for just general use of for emergency use of just as a bit of a "dont fuck with me" if Im alone at night. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
GOD. Happy Sugar Life thus far is GREAT. Like the stylistic choices to display emotion and mental snaps are really great and as someone who has had very... lets say vindictive / aggressive mental snaps, I feel it is really good representation XD

Also I really like Sato as a Yandere. Better than Yuno I believe. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Holy shit is it amazing. All the characters are mentally fucked and the anime goes about its own ways of addesssing it ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
And displaying it and I fucking love it but like ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I need to go to sleep XD But Im fucking hooked god help me ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Debating between adding meer to characters of watching Happy Sugar Life. I decided that one since it interested me the most even though I am slightly concerned of certain things not workign well with me but... Ya know #Yolo geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Pretty much had a one-on-one sectional practice with one of my section leaders cos no one else showed up and it was actually pretty awesome. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Also I realized one of the best types of people to have around u in the case u get into an accident of bad situation is someone with like.... anxiety of PTSD cos we are always either mentally braced of physically braced to deal with it.

Cos dude I have pretty much a first aid kit with me whenever I do anything remotely dangerous XD

Like I heard the bike breaks behind me screech like there was an accident turned around and was like "ARE u GUYS OKAY I GOT BANDAGES AND SUPPLIES" geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ commentaar gegeven…
I am so doing a meme of this xD ·10 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
^ 👌 !!!! ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I was most definately not almost late for class despite being there 20 minuten early because I got too into checking out the birds and psychology boeken in the bookstore across the straat from my class geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Me @ My Brain: Make serotonin and dopamine u lazy fucker geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly it feels like I missed three consecutive days of anxiety medicine and while my ability to remember to take medicine the past week has been bad, I do not think I missed three days.

Cause apparently if I miss three days in a row it resets of something and thus I never missed three days in a row since I started taking it like... a jaar and a half geleden geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Its honestly been a while since Ive been in a point of instability and my mind messing with itself that I have so strongly marked a dag to 'survive' with it to. ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Like this is all minor compared to before and its pretty bad so like.... serious complimenten to younger me ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
She was a beast to deal with all this ·10 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ zei …
When u own a Cockatoo someday name it Riku xD geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Why XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Im honestly not cut out for living with people other than like.... birds and maybe my boyfriend. I could probably also manage living with my PTSD best friend, but unless Im really bonded and/or really really trust them and are comfortable around them, it takes a huge toll on me in the long run

And things get really hard to manage when Im not fully stable because the small things trigger things to start again that I just have to keep to myself and it greatly slows down recovering. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Cause unless its someone I trust and am comfortable with, I get easily set off when Im not fully stable and I know its usually ridiculous and overresponsive due to being unstable and just end up having to keep it to myself ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
But honestly I cant wait to get my own studio. I can handle things so much easier that way. ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I love my roommates and they are great people but I dont think its that good for me and all ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL THE UNREQUITED LOVE ROUTES WORSE THAN THE BAD ROUTES

UNREQUITED LOVE SOUNDS LIKE THE MEDIUM ONE BUT IN EDO BLOSSOMS ITS THE WORST geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Okay so Okita and Hijikata are pretty neck in neck relatable ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I decided that after I finish Okitas route Imma take a break and watch Happy Sugar Love. Ive been wanting to watch it for a while and just remembered it now that its finished XD geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Maybe not actualyl Ill see XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Id probably think Im some Tumblr self diagnoser with all the diagnoses I have but I really dont bring up most of them :v Im actually really shy about askign about them cause I dont wanna be a self diagnoser to the point my first therapist knew I had PTSD for a while but it technically wasnt official for over a jaar XD geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
And Im pretty casual with them cause its just a label, something to look into and understand and reflect on, and somethign to aid in planning further recovery progress ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Ooof. Apparently the new trumpet section leader this jaar in my old highschool band is hospitalized with a collapsed lung and he has a solo for the fieldshow that no one can replace geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
.... tfw your favoriete college professor has a lot of negative "Rate My Professor" ratings despite him being literally one of the best public speakers and most engaging teachers???

And its not only me. Like everyone who sits around me also agrees??? geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
How the fuck XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Imma give him five stars when I finish the class cos tbh sometimes I just go to his class for the energy and engagement in the class. Hes a wonderful lecturer and its a good escape from life for a bit XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly glad I have chickens this morning for lab cause my brain is being fucking retarded cause yesterday was long and a bit problematic plus I got half the amount of sleep I usually do >.> geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Starting therapy again after 3 months off and shit is messing with my mind a bit :v ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
She was such a precious hen ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Also Okita is too relatable too XD geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Me: I shoudl actually get a referral for psychiatry before I come close to running out of medication and risk having to go over three days without it. Imma go get that appointment

Me: *goes to the health website*

Website: We have these appointments tomorrow. If they dont work, contact this number for assistance

Me: O-O HOLY SHIT u DONT HAVE TO WAIT A WEEK PLUS FOR A DOCTOR APPOINTMENT? IS THIS WHAT NOT SUPER SHITTY MEDICAL SERVICE IS?! geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
#DowntownDavisDay geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I miss my better half XD geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
My mentally-healthy lifestyle is harder to manage without him XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Cause honestly Im actually like.... 5x meer efficient with my time and meer productive and meer active. I actually study a bit, Im ahead on my homework, and I work well on my projects of interests because I dont spend time just laying down doing nothing of napping of taking pointless walks of other things that are otherwise considered inefficient usage of time ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Personally I just dont have much of anything better to do XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Bro I need to chill XD

I mean I know I did most of my homework today that I had to do tomorrow so I can make Thursday an almost free day

But like... When I suggest we play something casual and shit like Sims again

Dont go off and be like "Nah we could work on developing characters more" and almost start doing it when u have a damn headache XD geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Me: *explaining to my innocent roommate about THAT corner of tumblr*

Her: Doesnt it trigger u ever?

Me: It actually has in the past but yeah

Conversation: *turns to topic of she who should not be mention*

Me: ha..hahah....ha. No brain lets not get like this geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Cntrl Alt wis that. I do not need to think about it XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Roommate: Do u ever write down your feelings of anything?

Me: Do u want to see what it looked like when I did?

Roommate: .... with how u zei that, Im honestly scared and will decide to pass on that. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Boi between TwinkleStar mentioning it and Okita's route, Im really remembering how bloodthirsty I used to get when I was really emotionally and mentally unstable. geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly as much of a shitty developer that YandereDev is, he hired a good person to create a good theme for the Delinquents and I really honestly love the theme for its composition and shit geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
:vvv That feeling when u go to sleep and 20 minuten later your trumpet chat has one of those great night time random bullshit discussions and now u wish u didnt sleep :v XD geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Also my new therapist feels OCPD is a meer fitting diagnosis than OCD (excluding the fact Trichotillomania is a subtype of OCD) geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
To be honest might look meer into it and discuss it meer with him at some point but I lowkey dont want to accept it XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
If I do have it (cause we barely talked about it in the run through of who I am on the first meeting) but I dont want to add one meer general branch of disorders to my lijst XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Imma be sad is I become an even larger ball of mental health XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
:3 I served as a pivot point for moving my roommate's dag from depressive as fuck to good again :3

It did cost my Hakuoki time I had scheduled but its nice to see I could help.

Shes now talking to her aunt about stuff and vooruit, voorwaarts planning and thats good :3 geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Me: Well shit having trouble sleeping

Me: I guess Ill just do the entire week's worth of Econ homework ahead geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Homework shouldnt be as calming as it is XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
My brain was keeping awake festering on dumb anxieties so I just fed it something else to think about and be busy with XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
BTW GAD is short for Generalized Anxiety Disorder ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I relate to Okita's Tuberculosis rn with how bad my lungs got fucked up door my cold XD geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Personally I feel that the older u get, the larger the responsibility it should be for u to provide for the younger generations. Not necessarily so strictly as said, but its part of what makes humans special. We are so capable at passing down information for years to come.

Its the responsibility of older members of society to provide as much learning experience to their youngers so progress can keep moving and everyone's life in net can be easier geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
In that way, its an older person's responsibility to guide and help the younger people as much as they can because as someone who is older, u have a higher ability to be stable and have learned how to manage your own life. On the other hand, kids to young adults are shakey on it and just a little aid in that struggle can leave a large impact ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Its a bit why Im always a mother that adopts younger people a lot to be honest. I may only be a jaar of two older often, but everyone could use a "big sister" "big brother" of "parent" and such a relationship dynamic can help a lot. ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
And Im not saying responsibility like I usually do where its something I know is probably toxic and I feel I have to. I think its just a good rule of thumb. We ourselves might not have our lives together, but meer often than not, I feel they are meer lost in life. Some might not have faced the major things like money, work, and all, but if u think about it, a little kid loosing his favoriete toy is super distressing and that in itself is something weve learned to handle and thus its our responsibility to help them and guide them in their way ·10 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Amen to that !!!! ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I think I succeeded in taking a break today geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Mainly because my dormmates were out pretty much all dag and thus I was able to finally have a dag to just relax and all so its KINDA cheating, but fuck I did it XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
So I didnt really overcome my mental health obstacles and stuff like I wanted and what would normally be the situation, but I did at the very least complete the task of giving my brain a break and taking a dag to just relax XD ·10 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
A cookie has been earned !!!! ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
YEp Souji shows potential for beign relatable too as I expected XD Im starting his route now geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I honestly love my boyfriend and how much he accepts my weirdness and bullshit XD He literally just openly accepted and went along with me calling him "my uke" XD geplaatst ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
He is quite honestly just everything I could ever want in a partner and stuff I didnt think were necessarily even possible to actually find XD ·10 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
BFRBs + Athletes foot REALLY isnt a good combo XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden