Riku114 Wall

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Riku114 zei …
Me: Okay its 11 AM what are we supposed to be going? *checks calendar*

Me: .... the calendar is blank until 6 PM

Me #2: Ya know we planned to like... ya know, have an easy dag on the weekend?

Me: .... OKAY THEN. LETS GET DOWN TO RELAXING AND HAVING FUN. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PLAY of DO

Me #2: Can u like... not be so extreme and just relax when relaxing geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Deep breaths, relax muscles, lower shoulders, and just do whatever~ ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Also I officially #100%ed Hijikata and Saito and I totally have... 26.1 hours on the game XD Im officially 1/6th way done with the game geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Im going back to get Hijikatas bad routes before starting another and I just remembered again how much he needs to stfu and stop being me geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I really miss my flock tbh. geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Its been way too long since I got to hold a feathery friend. I hope we get to hold the chickens in the chicken lab for my animal science lab volgende week ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Cos Imma die if I cant hold a feathery friend for one meer week ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
University: Here u have a $755 Refund Check to pick up

Me: .... i do? What for? I mean Il ltake it but idk why

Me: *going through financial papers and stuff* OH u GUYS DIDNT PAY ME MY WHOLE GRANT EARLIER SO THIS IS MONEY I HAD BUT DIDNT KNOW OHHH THATS NICE

Me: Well at least that makes sense. Alright time to account it into my budge-

University: *literally one uur after I picked up that one* u have a refund check to pick up

Me: ???? WHAT FOR??? geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Im getting so much money from the universiteit I dont understand why Im getting it. ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Maybe this one is the small student loan of something? of maybe its the downpayment on dorm paid back or...??? ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Tbh I was $400-500 above my budget I was gegeven and thus adding an unexpected $755 made me around $1200 saved and who knows how much the volgende one is .-. ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Also everyone says Hijikata is originally cold, mean, and an asshole of sorts but like... I never really saw that and I dont know if thats everyone having differnet opinions of a commentary on me since I relate to him XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Too many good Hijikata Icons. I was gonna go for Halloween but got distracted. Maybe Ill give him a witch hat geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Me: Imma google how to relax

Roommate: u go do that. *goes off to the bathroom*

*two minuten later*

Roommate: did u figure out how to relax?

Me: No

Roommate: .... get off the UC Davis hatchery page, yo uare supposed to be relaxin- no close the emai too

Me: .... ..... *legit didnt realize she was not relaxing and now feels dumb* geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I officially accepted that I have a genuine friend irl and thus also decided to give her the irl best friend at the same time and thats honestly kinda weird for me.

...

... i dont know if i like this XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I feel a lot of u underestimate how horrifically bad I am at actually establishing meaningful connections with people IRL and then actually recognizing and accepting it rather than denying it and negating the 'meaningful' part because I refuse to let it count cos of my discomfort into getting invested into friendships ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
But TBH shes one of the only two not-boyfriend, not-therapist, not-oldest-sister people I know IRL that I am even remotely comfortable being my purely natural self and we still are in contact even after having not seen each other in two months and tbh shes pretty cool ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
#GayPTSDBuddies ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Im annoyed door the amount of M&Ms in my trail mix geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I know Im weird ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
WELP. I apparently also do dissociative fugue XD The one dissociation thing I claimed to NOT have I apparently have for ffs XD

My new therapist was like "You do A LOT for being dissociated so it sounds a lot like a fugue if u ask me". Apparently u dont have to have that whole complete memory wipe / shock when u come back from a fugue and apparently my selective amnesia and constant casual autopilot-dissociation is likely a mild but still active dissociative fugue ffs XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
But fuck man I got therapy homework to "relax" rip me ·11 maanden geleden
Rihanna312 zei …
https://www.facebook.com/pubity/videos/767156683615418/ geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
XD Thats hilarious ·11 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ zei …
Wait...who is Nomy? geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ commentaar gegeven…
Guys, check out my new vraag on the random club xD ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
8theGreat XD ·11 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ commentaar gegeven…
I see xD ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Nomy: "Doing my job stuff so I might be slow to respond so sorry XD"

Me: "Its cool XD I was just mostly rambling here. And looking at birds"

Nomy: "When are u not looking at birds"

Me: "good point" geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
^ A good point indeed lmao !!!! ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Lowkey having way too much fun with the thing me and Nomy are casually working on as a side thing together tbh. geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
YES MY 7-10 PM CHEM LAB GOT CANCELED COS THE UC SYSTEM IS EXPERIENCING A STRIKE. HALLELUJAH. geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
So I managed to match with a therapist that does have experience with trauma and dissociation so that should be interesting. geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
So anyways, we did the away game and what not well and stayed up from 10 PM until 3 AM until I had to let my boyfriend go which lowkey really made me kinda sad to see him go since it was honest to god the first time none of my mental health crap was constantly pressuring me (Constantly but not majorly; present but not crushing) and I didnt really wnat him to go.

Woke up the volgende day, had the banquet and senior speeches and what not geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Then we got on the bus to head back to our universiteit but only got like.... 20 miles out before one of the busses started majorly leaking oil and eventually catching on brand in the form of an engine fire. That ended up making us stranded door a beach. ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Then we all agreed (quite enthusiastically as if we hadn't just been told we were stranded for two hours) to "rally at the beach" which pretty much means to play muziek and have a band version of a party on the beach. Pretty much did that for three hours straight. Apparently a couple whose son killed himself a week geleden forced themselves out of the house to check out hte strand and smiled for the first time since because of us, our energy, and overwhelming positivity ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I might uploaden some videos onto youtube XD ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
IM BACK HOLY SHIT XD

Our bus broke down and we didnt get a bus until midnight and then had a 5 uur drive back XD Plus I had a cold but tbh it was a lot of fun and I needed it XD After I get food and laundry done I might ramble meer on it if people are interested but it was quite a fun adventure with the band XD

Oh yeah I was at an away game that had us in a hotel over the weekend btw. geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ commentaar gegeven…
that was unexpected news but hallo glad u had fun xD yes meer please.. ·11 maanden geleden
GDragon612 commentaar gegeven…
yyyyyyyyyyoooooo finally back!!!, but i am happy too u had alot of fun<3 ·11 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ zei …
Riku why u no have time xD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Cuz Im a bando XD ·11 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ commentaar gegeven…
:D ·11 maanden geleden
GDragon612 commentaar gegeven…
hahahaha XD ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Fyi Goodbyes are still 200x harder than just cold turkey of any actual parting geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
^This is in relation to the fact I got to see my boyfriend two nights geleden and had to part as well tho on the same dag XD It was harder than I thought it would be ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
My relatable character lijst is really hard to rank at this point XD Also I moved a few to an "EX-Relatable" lijst since I was feeling some really didnt match up to the standard the lijst held geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I also now added Tiers so I could place them meer generally into Three Ranked boxes rather than trying to compare two really close ones. ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
The Tiers arent really ranked inside the tier but First is higher than seconde which is higher than third ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
HIJIKATA GOTTA STOP DOING THINGS AND SAYING THINGS SIMILAR TO WHAT IVE DONE AND zei FUCK OFF geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
ALSO CHIZURU STOP DESCRIBING HIM AS SOME PEOPLE WOULD DESCRIBE ME. u TOO CAN FUCK OFF XD ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I might just go eat my pasta bar and glare. XD ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Hilariously hes also nicknamed "Demon Commander" door his vrienden and subordinates which is very well paralleled door the fact everyone in my old band called me "Satan" XD ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly I'm not too good at tonen affection out of the provider method. Providing gifts, money, aid, help, and all that stuff. It doesnt really work well for people that dont want it of people that dont understand that type of affection, but its just the most natural and comfortable one for me.

Im also pretty good at the method of spending quality time, but I also feel that flies over people's head a lot since I have limited time so my 'quality time' often isnt long geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Im usually busy so cutting out like... half an uur of an uur to just u really says something ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honest to god my boyfriend is the meer sweet thing ever. geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
*most sweet ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Im the luckiest to have him in my life ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Ah yes. The 4 AM call time for a football game in Marching Band. Sounds about right. XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Lowkey feel a little bad cause people are comparing their schedules to mine and feeling lazy but that REALLY isnt fair. I keep myself busy sometimes as a bad coping mechanism XD Being busy is usually easier for me than being free geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Oh huh. Thats the first time I zei that since I turned 18.

I guess Im finally / officially 'legal' now XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
FUCK IM NO LONGER #TEAMTEENAGER ON FANPOP XD ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Well.... "Teen"ager comes from the "teen" part so Im still a teen until Im like.... 20 XD So I still kinda am? ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Its weird tho XD Being on here since I was like 11 almost 12 makes it odd being moved a biiiiit into the older group. TBH not THAT old since there are a lot of older people still on here but yikes XD ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Im 18 and take 6-7 pills every morning. What am I 60? geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ commentaar gegeven…
u are 11 jaar old cat xD ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Hijikata is too relatable tbh XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Welp that Chem midterm had to be on of the easiest tests Ive taken in a while geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Also I was debating between the conflict in my own values and ideals the fact that one of my closest college vrienden currently does drugs (which I am firm against myself; but I have had online vrienden that abused it so now that I think about it I should have no problem with it XD) but from what Ive heard and seen so far, shes rather responsible about it and doesnt push it so I suppose its fine. geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
My firmness on that value of mine hadnt had such a direct vraag to my decision of people to be around and to choose to be vrienden with since those that did do it that I was vrienden with did it after I already took them as longer term vrienden so something like that was a matter of concern for them rather than decision making on my part ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
But personally, as much as I disagree with the usage of drugs and what not, as long as people arent in my face about it and trying to get me to take part and they themselves arent harming themselves with it of their behavior while on it isnt harming others, then its not really horrible. Everyone's life is their own ·11 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Same as Zeppie and agree !!!! ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly I really like my Microecon professor XD I mean Ive always loved Economy - both Macro and Micro - but he just makes the class great. Both a wonderful professor and just person in general XD Plus with my love for participating, tendency to sit in the front, and the small conversation I have with him before and after class Im on pretty good terms with him too XD

But lowkey my favoriete class to go to (until we get to Poultry in Animal Science prolly) geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Imma wanna die the volgende two weeks XD

I have 9 hours of band practice this week, then an all weekend marching trip, two labs, and a midterm XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
omg

"arrrghh my head"

Youtuber: "Yeah u should just amputate it" geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
GDragon612 commentaar gegeven…
ouch XD , get well soon Riku~bun<3 ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Nah XD That wasnt at me it was a thing in the game he was going through ·11 maanden geleden
GDragon612 commentaar gegeven…
hehe thats good xD ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
extraverted Sensing (Se) (30.2)
good use

introverted Sensing (Si) (25)
average use

extraverted Intuiting (Ne) (29.3)
average use

introverted Intuiting (Ni)      (34.3)
good use

extraverted Thinking (Te) (43.6)
excellent use

introverted Thinking (Ti) (30.3)
good use

extraverted Feeling (Fe) (20.7)
limited use

introverted Feeling (Fi) (27.2)
average use

TEMPERAMENT: Theorist geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Oh the Temperament was a different wording for the "Rationals" "Idealists" etc etc ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
But yeah that felt like probably the most legit of the tests out of the ones I took ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Fuck I was gonna record it but decided against it and now wanted to post it on my uithangbord but now I cant find it :v

Anyways there was a Hijikata quote along the lines of "If I find myself in capable of doing a task, it is my responsibility to delegate it to someone who can." geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Personally thats the great thing about communications, having people around u with diverse skills, and - in the larger spectrum for like nations and what not - trade. Time is very limited and one cant spend their whole life learning literally everything (against as much as I talk about it and seem to try to XD) so some things have to be passed up. ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
AND THIS ALL STARTED FROM ME THINKING ABOUT A HIJIKATA QUOTE ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I hate myself XD (not really) ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Hijikata is also pretty relatable. Saito is meer specifically relatable while Hijikata is meer generally relatable geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
WOOOOO DORM TO MYSELF. God its been so long since I felt as free as this XD I love my roommates but as the vorige post on this uithangbord said, my mind just automatically assumes that they serve a presence like my parents so like... yeah XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly the thing about PTSD that I didnt really fully notice until I went to college is how it just makes u have a constant sense that where-ever u are and regardless of what facts u present, there is a massive tag on everything that marks it a threat / possible danger.

Like I find that my dorm honestly feels exactly like it did when I was back at home pagina but there is NOTHING here actually to give it that feeling geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Likewise, the college itself does as well outside of learning. I just suppose it hasnt fully occurred to me because when I felt that constant presence of a threat that isnt there was when I didnt know / accept that I had PTSD and when I did know / accept it, I had my boyfriend around me at least an uur almost every dag ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
And as cheesy as it sounds, I can honestly say the only place I felt normal - at least in terms of sensing a threat of anxiety - and safe. When I am around him, there is no levels of filters watching every word and every gesture and every thought and everything. Im fully genuine around him because my brain goes "Oh look. We are good and safe. No worries, feel free" cause he just makes me feel safe. HE doesnt really do anything too actively. HE isnt over protective of take up my inner routines to protect myself from a nonexistant threat. Its just that hes there and its like a safety net of harness. u wouldnt go on an obstacle course 200 feet in the air without one of them, but when its there and gegeven door a company u can sue, u are much meer okay with it ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Im charismatic, smart, driven, good at applying myself, and considerably successful and just looking at the stats Ive got everything going for me way better than him. But honestly, its like people being amazed at the boom and how beautiful it is without looking at the very soil, water, and nutrients that even let it be that. ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Ughh XD Im sad now. Im hearing the band practicing field toon for tomorrow's football game that I didnt sign up for cos I figured Id be exhausted but now that I hear them its giving me good old memories to late night practices and now I wanna be there XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Today was a fucking shitty day. 10/10 would NOT recommend geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Hijikata is great XD Saito seems meer fitting as a partner in my opinion but Hijikata is a great character XD I seriously love his casual cursing being part of the smaller details of his characteristics XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Oh shit one of my options for a therapist is trained in EDMR therapy XD I dunno if I wanna go for it though cause I dont really know if its the type of processign and recovery I want to go about but that therapy is like a really rare type to see geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
It really shouldn't feel as odd as it is to be gegeven normal friendly attention and to be treated as a normal person as it does. geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
IRL I mean. I have a lot of online vrienden I feel give me that too ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
WHY IS BUDGETING TO MUCH FUN? geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
2ntyOnePilots commentaar gegeven…
*too I’m sry, couldn’t help it. Argh.. plz don’t @ me, ik I’m hypocritical ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
It was actually supposed to be *So ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Also 7-10 PM Chemistry Labs was a mistake geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
And people are starting to notably notice that Im ahead of most of the class even when Im in a large universiteit XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
College is the ability to say "You know this professor lectures 4x slower than I can learn door reading myself and I have a TA and discussion classes to work through anything I might not know so fuck this lecture" geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I have a midterm for Chem (not really a midterm cause I have two cause they dont understand what the word 'midterm' means) volgende week and tehre are two meer chapters to cover and Im pretty sure I could cover the two chapters on my own and start doing practice tests in the time itd take them to cover the single first chapter today ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Personally I think I like Pokemon partly because Im an animal lover and the fantasy of being in sync with your pets much meer like companions and partners and going into battle with them just sounds like an awesome relationship.

Of course a large part is being raised with it, but my animal lover, my combat obsession, and my love for fantasy just kinda melds together as well. geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I suppose to animal lovers, it depends if u see the battles as forcing them to fight of as working as a partnership to fight that makes u vraag it. Also I like to imagine pokemon less in the "I wanna be the Pokemon Master" way, and meer in just like a world of Pokemon and conflicts and stuff going on and stuff. A more... mature and stuff orientated type ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
HArd to explain but I dunno XD ·11 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
I feel the same way when it comes to that matter !!!! ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
My hair is so good for hair / head banging geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ commentaar gegeven…
Meow ·11 maanden geleden
GDragon612 commentaar gegeven…
headbangs with Riku❤ ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I am honestly so sick of shitty fucking service management and help in the mental health department of fucking everything. Fuck Kaiser and maybe now also Fuck Davis geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I love Davis but fuck their whole student care. Im paying for insurance yet have to struggle to book a single fucking appointment with therapy of psychiatry. I have STILL yet to get one despite all my efforts ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Poor service in the mental health department isnt even funny in the slightest anymore ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Not that it ever was ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
FINALLY GOT AN APPOINTMENT JESUS CHRIST ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Linkin Park is a real headbanger.

Also for those that wonder how well I hide emotions and even major breakdowns, Ive had two full breakdown and like.... three of four almost breakdowns and none of them have been noticed door my roommates of bandos who have been around me pretty much 24/7 geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
I know how that is very well !!!! ·11 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
And yes. Linkin Park rocks. It still remains one of my favoriete Bands !!!! ·11 maanden geleden
2ntyOnePilots commentaar gegeven…
Linkin Park rocks! (Literally) I’m glad I’m not the only one who still gets a kick out of their music. (R.I.P. Chester) ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I still hate when my mind randomly reminds me how ruined and stolen my childhood and teenhood was stolen from my family situation and mental health. I usually accept it and can think about it and grow from it, but sometimes my brain just hooks on it in a form of comparison and just get really envious and sad and tries to drag me back into grief over it. geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Its one of the things that I still almost definately need muziek to block out. ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I was video chatting with my boyfriend when I took a two minuut break and something just brought it back and now Im just kinda really tense trying to block out the thought cause its not good for me to think about and if I think about it my mind starts going down a bad track and I start dissociating but even when Im playing muziek to block out the bad thought train, I still am tense af and my body still wants to be anxiety ridden ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I really do need to figure out therapy though so I can actually continue to work through things ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Personally for a while, I spent a lot of my life kind of lost in my own mind and just living in the worlds in my head and even in a reality slightly warped of rather wrapped in a veil of distance and separation. It felt so separate from the world.

I would have this sense of companionship and socializing talkign to online vrienden 24/7 while pent up in my room, rarely actually talking to anyone. A life that was perfect and a well developed and stable personality geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
While not knowing the first thing about myself and while being a mental health mess in a toxic family ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
It was honestly a bit of a false reality and while it may have felt really good from time to time, I feel that its good that I got my reality and the TRUE reality to match up and work on actually taking part in the world ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I am not to say that vrienden online are not real vrienden of they dont provide companionship, however its hard to say that it fully fills the role when there is nothing in the actual physical world to be around ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
If I were to say anything, it was probably a lot easier, meer peaceful, and fun to live like that and honestly sometimes there is a deep longing to go back to living like that, but this seems better - as meer difficult as it is ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Welp I finished Saito's route and like.... I dont wanna go onto completing ANY of the other 12 rn cos I love Saito and that story worked so well it doesnt feel like the others could compare XD

Im sure they are great but Id feel wrong moving on so fast so I might take a few days break of something.

Saito is great though geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
14 hours of game play and there is 11 other main routes XD ·11 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Welp, it is reasonable. Give yourself some time to reflect on what u have went through before u jump straight into the other Routes XD !!!! ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Saito is so making my relatable characters lijst XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Sometimes, I honestly feel like if Im not of use to people, I really am not wanted, needed, of worthy of attention / affection of whatever.

I am very aware that it isn't true, but I can't say I am not taken off guard of uncomfortable when I realize someone is liking me not for my skill in anything of my intelligence of my ability to help them, but just rather for me and myself and...

Its just weird geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I kinda relate to Saito in that matter ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I was actually having avondeten, diner with one of the other trumpet freshmen and for over half of it I was internally struggling to comprehend the fact that I neither was amazing at the trumpet compared to others, havent shown off any particular academics, of really anything useful to them yet.... they still treated me and seemed to want to welcome me into being vrienden regardless and it just didnt seem right of to make sense XD ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
XD Thanks guys. Its not really a major concern but meer so a reflection / analysis / observation I noticed on myself and felt like rambling about. It is just something that I noticed and one of the things that resonated strongly with me when a similar topic was beign discussed in Hakuoki XD ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Lowkey in a huggge ramen mood since I cant go to the dining commons but also not wanting to spend money

Id kill for like... legit ramen. Like legit cooked ramen. The real delicious good shit. geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
GDragon612 commentaar gegeven…
ramen I WANT ALOT*_* YUMMY!!!!! ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
ALSO FUCK HAKUOKI SLIGHTLY XD

It makes me miss my boy meer XD Cos Im like "Aww... this is such a nice romance cute thing... I relate case of my boyfriend... BUT HES NOT FUCKING HERE AND ITS BEEN LIKE TWO AND A HALF WEEKS AND I WANT HIM BACK. GIVE HIM BACK TO ME." geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Honestly, I just kinda like having him around because I get a nice sense of security that makes it so I dont have to be well in check 24/7, looking over thigns 24/7, being responsible and controlling everything, and jsut all in all being a really spectacular, responsible, hardworker all the time. ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I mean its GOOD when I am doing that and it REALLY doesnt drain me too much to be like this 24/7 cause its honestly just a different mode of sorts and doesnt really take much energy for me to keep track of everything and stay on task and everything, but I really do enjoy occasionally allowing myself to be stupid, to make mistakes, and to not have to look far ahead to make sure everything is going exactly as I plan / want it to and all ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Still tho. I love Hakuoki ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Hajime Saito > Hajime Hinata

I love both but Saito is great geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Hajime Ichinose > EVERY other Hajime so far !!!! ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
"All too often, doubt is little meer than a poison" ~ Saito Hajime geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I burnt my self out helping my roommate with basic Chem that I just had a major energy and mood crash the seconde a minor inconvenience occured in my work when I started it at night

Whoops geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly the great thing about a well done Otome game is it gives u a small, short version of the feeling of falling in love all over again. Its not as long lasting, and its not as intense, but for a short moment when playing it, u just get the rush and softness for a minuut of two where u are like "Ah... Love"

Not enough to where u fall in love for real, but enough to get the feeling of being loved and loving. geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
So it seems the first game "Kyoto Winds" is meer of the set up and is much meer linear even with the different romancable options and then "Edo Blossoms" is the seconde half where u start right away getting to be offered which route geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Its just kinda nice being as busy as I am to be honest XD Makes keeping my club up and active harder but still lets me have fun and what not while still feeling like Im making progress in my life

Oooooh

I think I get to sheer schapen this Friday door the way

#Hype geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Relatable !!!! ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Apparently I am matching with Saito meer just with my natural decision choices XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I wonder how much Ive read in Visual Novels in my time... geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Hakuoki plays a lot better than I expected XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly... People assume me to be much meer in control and independent than I am - of at least meer than I comfortably am. Im driven and perseverant and all, but I really dont like doing things Im completely unfamiliar with alone and I dont necessarily know how to do everything. I mean, that is normal for people, but it seems like almost everyone but maybe my boyfriend and maybe my oldest sister realize that. geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Im great at leading when its somethign foreign that Im somewhat used to of something similar to something Im familiar with and all, but when its completely unknown, I really love to have someone actually help me out. ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I can get pretty easily overwhelmed alone in an area I feel like I dont have any solid footing in. Most things I do feel like I have solid footing in, therefore I lead rather well and handle myself rather well - but if I dont have a plan of any real guidance of something Ive seen before of anything, it just throws me off ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Cos bois I still got severe anxiety thats just being mediated door medication ·11 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
I see that being perfectly natural, Rikubun. Someone thinking otherwise would seem unusual to me. That applies to every person and the impressions they are giving. Especially if u have come to know them well !!!! ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Ugh. I honestly wish I was actually taught how to do taxis and bus crap cos now I have to figure that stuff out on my own and its a pain in the ass. geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Also a note as to why I need to take my anxiety meds daily. Cause I missed it today (and probably also cause I missed it two days ago), it was causing my body to start reacting in an anxiety attack what with the inability to breathe and shit ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Im alright cause my sister actually gives me meer help than "Take cash money and figure it out" and cause Im aware the reaction my body was having was primarily due to the lack of medication and I just took my medication but yikes ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Apparently I bike at least 4 kilometers on a regular school dag so its a bit too convenient for Pokemon Go XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I might start playing Pokemon again. My schedule isnt as dense as I hoped it would be to make playing the DS meer convenient but I still probably will. Maybe help my roommate complete the Pokedex geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
My roommate and sister dragged me back into Pokemon Go. My trainer code 1156 7110 6840 for anyone who wants to add me geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Im so forwardly in love with birds geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
AQUA IS OFFICIALLY A BOSS FIGHT IN KH3 geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Me: Yeah theres a lot of biking in Davis

Oldest Sister: I told u there was a lot of biking in college

Me: No u dont understand

Me: Davis is a whole new level

Me: Just google UC Davis Bike

Me: Just look out your window at Davis

Me: Davis is a bike geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Its kinda nice that the torturous longing to be able to hug and cuddle and be with my boyfriend has been replaced with an excitement to go home pagina and be with him in just a week of being here.

I really miss him and we can do so much when I get back XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I'm honestly just so lucky to have him. The distance honestly kinda makes me appreciate even the smallest things even more. ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
But yeah Im not really the type of person who should have been out of therapy for over three months straight geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
u are going to be starting it again now that Summer is over. Right? ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
If I can work through Davis ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
TFW u are unsure whether u are just really bad at recognizing your own emotions of really good at lying / convincing yourself that one emotion is the volgende geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Cause lowkey had a bit of a breakdown over the thing mentioned below and I know my need to stay active is a hugeeee front and the boredom is a HUUUGEEE red herring to keep myself from actually having to feel / think about my feelings ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
The thing is, even after a bit of a crack in it, I still dont know what Im blocking out, what, of why and for the time period that I was extremely distressed about boredom, I genuinely thought I was depressed cos I was bored cos thats a thing for me but like, I can bet u I was depressed for some other reason and I only started to feel it cause I wasnt busy and was distressed cos I was feeling depressed and was using the scapegoat of boredom so I could ignore my own issue ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
God Im bored geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Im not even a week into college and Im already bored of it. >.> ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
It doesnt help my mind isnt in a "Have fun and relax" mode and thus dont feel comfortable / motivated doing anything fun which means I cant get into a game of manga of anime of anythign even if I forced myself to ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Im HONESTLY going to burn out so fast if Im like this for much longer of if I cant relax on the weekend ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
That feeling when your shy introverted roommates have a larger will / want to make meer vrienden than u XD

I just am too lazy and dont have people Im interested in yet XD

Ive got invited to like... two of three parties already XD geplaatst ·11 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Sorry if I dont talk too much to people I usually would XD Ive been busy and distracted to keep up with my normal online routine XD geplaatst ·12 maanden geleden
Shukuya commentaar gegeven…
No problem ·12 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ commentaar gegeven…
Hey,as long as u still here that’s all it matters. ·12 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
^ This. It is understandable, Rikubun. No need to even mention it !!!! ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Me: Imma take a bit of a nap 20 minuut cause Im super tired and I never end up napping for meer than a few minutes

*two hours later*

Me: FUCK ITS 4PM AND I MISSED dag ONE OF SCH- Oh wait. Huh. *talks to roommate for like two minutes* Imma just curl up for like five minuten of something

*five minuten later*

Roommate: We should probably go eat soon since we have to leave in a bit

Me: Yeah sure around five

Roommate: It is five. u fell asleep an uur geleden geplaatst ·12 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ commentaar gegeven…
The bed must be so comfy xD ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Its alright XD ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
I was just super exhausted ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
So this is gonna be a copy paste from what I texted people on messenger but college story time geplaatst ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Also dude. Someones bike flipped and they flew off it cos a janitor bumped the back of their bike with their vehicle and she - the rider - totally skinned her knee really badly and was bleeding a lot ·12 maanden geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
Karma has its very own pace and ways of rewarding. Glad things worked out for both of u !!!! ·12 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ commentaar gegeven…
That was weird xD Hope it's just a beginners welcoming XD be veilig Riku<3 ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
I honestly just feel happy and comfortable when I can really help the people around me that I care about. ITs one of my easier ways of tonen affection and all, and if people can come to me for help and I can help them, it just makes me feel respected and liked.

Maybe its a bit wrong, since its a dynamic that could get unhealthy, but in moderation I feel like its fine geplaatst ·12 maanden geleden
Shukuya commentaar gegeven…
I think you're doing great ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Update: Quickly getting my good biking legs back geplaatst ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly if Im not on much its cause Im moving in and doing school prep and figuring life out at college and all and I just feel odd being on my computer much now XD geplaatst ·12 maanden geleden
Rihanna312 commentaar gegeven…
linkI`m just gonna leave this link here for when u get back on, in case u haven`t seen this yet ^_^ ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Awww XD ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Wow my whole dorm room is the " 5' 1(.5)" girls with dysfunctional families bringing trauma and bad pasts to UC Davis hoping for meer luck and a fresh start here " geplaatst ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
My roommate is a wonderful person and I love her XD We are gonna have a fun jaar geplaatst ·12 maanden geleden
JetBlack__ commentaar gegeven…
^Since when (her) means boy? xD ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
^ Plus platonically love XD Also Im bi / ace af so gender doesnt matter for me ·12 maanden geleden
Shukuya commentaar gegeven…
Sorry about that i didn't noticed!! ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
On a scale of one to ten, do u want to die?
On a scale of one to ten, do u want to die?
But if u want to die
u cant afford a funeral
So sadly I must say, u can not die geplaatst ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Honestly its not that bad for me but feels man ·12 maanden geleden
Shukuya commentaar gegeven…
Life is game, dying means quiting it and I never quit a game ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Me and my roommate are whining and complaining about medical shit and college shit and assholes who write their own textbooks every jaar and make their students buy them geplaatst ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
... well I was gonna make a Luka + Flugelhorn icoon but I cant uploaden it >.> geplaatst een jaar geleden
JetBlack__ commentaar gegeven…
Oh ! why? een jaar geleden
Riku114 commentaar gegeven…
Fanpop glitching een jaar geleden
8theGreat commentaar gegeven…
I dig it ·12 maanden geleden
Riku114 zei …
Seriously though I just love my college band. So hyped for Monday Practice this Monday XD They make me feel loved and welcome. Its great not being the mom for the first time and just being the 'kid' of the band since u get that really nice older sibling feel and that "we have your back" feeling that I havent had in a while.

They are honestly wonderful people. geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
That is wonderful to know !!!! een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
As for a college update, Im moving in tomorrow XD geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
TFW u spend all dag playing online games with your boyfriend since u both have the dag off and u still miss him XD Its honestly lowkey great to miss him like this. It both means Ive made great progress in mental health, that I really did love him, makes the smallest things feel like the largest, and honestly just makes me meer fond.

It sucks but like... Ive never been so happy of excited to play Fortnite of Stardew of anything before. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
I realize that when food is now on my own money, I eat a lot less of it XD Its probably for the better tho cos like... I eat meer than I should XD geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Honestly its quite a great thing that Im missing my boyfriend XD Its a huge improvement from what I used to be like with my mental health. geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
Annnnd now I need to figure out something to keep me busy and entertained the volgende two days in a city I dont know, without a car, and with dead legs from band camp XD

Ill figure it out but for now Imma sit cos my legs are dead XD geplaatst een jaar geleden
Riku114 zei …
I AM BACK AND THE BAND IS GREAT.

#YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO geplaatst een jaar geleden
TheLefteris24 commentaar gegeven…
WELCOME BACK! XD That is good to know !!!! een jaar geleden