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After Josh left, the Casting Director had a headache.
Casting Director: This has been awful so far. Should we take a 5 minuut break before seeing the other actors? Roger: That was the last actor. Casting Director: It was?! We only saw 9 actors. I was supposed to cast this thing, and now it's ruined. Roger: *Looking at his phone* My girlfriend just got here. Can I leave early? Casting Director: No!! Roger: *Sad* But, we have a pizza date... Casting Director: I don't care about your pizza date! We're not leaving until we get our two leads! I'm...
Josh: Hi. My name is Josh. Casting Director: Hi. Nice to meet you. Did u get a copy of the lines? Josh: Yes. I'd also like to do a monologue. Casting Director: Good. u can start when you're ready. Josh: Cool. *Goes to the back, and pulls up a chair* Casting Director: What do u need that for? Josh: You'll see. *Puts the chair in the middle of the stage, sits in it, and pretends to drive a car*
The Casting Director, and Roger started whispering to each other.
A crocodile, chameleon, and bee walk in wearing business suits. Charlize follows them.
Agent 1: *Talking on his cell phone* Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well then we're walking. I want 5%, of we're walking. WALKING!!!!!! 2.5%, and a free hot tub? u got yourself a deal. *Hangs up, looks at the Casting Director* My client wants her own dressing room along with her usual salary, 10% of the box office, and a bowl of skittles at every rehearsal. Charlize: Chocolate covered skittles. Agent 2: Are u sure? That's a little disgusting.
Mark walks in, holding a water bottle and a yoga mat.
Mark: Hi. Mark McCrossen. I got here a little late from a yoga class. Do u mind if I take a minuut to warm up? Casting Director: Okay, but we have other people waiting. Do u want us to let someone in while u warm up? Mark: No it's fine. It will only take a minute. *Rolls out his yoga mat, and lays down* Roger: Do u think I can go to the bathroom real quick? Mark: *On his hands, and knees* Hiya!!!!! Qoooooouuuuuaaaaaaa!!!!!
Catherine crawled onto the stage on all fours. She is dressed as a cat.
Casting Director: Uh, hello. Are you- Catherine: Meow. Casting Director: Excuse me? Catherine: Meow. *Stretching* Roger: Is this a method actor too? Casting Director: I don't know what she's doing. *Stands up, and walks to Catherine* Excuse me miss. Catherine: *Tries to scratch the C.D* Hisssssssss!!! Casting Director: *Backs up, saving herself from getting scratched* Okay then.
Martin arrives, dressed in the costume Romeo wore in the 1968 film, Romeo & Juliet.
Casting Director: Wow. Nice costume. Martin: Forsooth, these simple garments for which u surmise have no mood of color to them. They are neither cheerful, nor melancholy as thus doth proclaim. Roger: What did he say? Casting Director: I think what we have here is a method actor. He stays in character all of the time, and thinks that the play is real life. Martin: Alas! A man of the stage I cannot claim to be. Character one may find in these meek, and feeble bones,...
Maria entered the stage, looking very cheerful as she approached Roger, and the Casting Director.
Maria: Hi, my name is Maria McConville. Thank u for seeing me. Casting Director: Thank u for coming in. Will u be doing a monologue, of a scene? Maria: A monologue, if that's okay with you. Casting Director: It is. u can begin when you're ready. Maria: *Puts her hands in her pockets* Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father, and refuse thy name.
Josie walked up towards Roger, and the Casting Director.
Casting Director: Hi. Thank u for coming in. Josie: Thank me? You, thank you. Casting Director: Okay, so, will u be doing a monologue, of a scene? Josie: A monotogue? Casting Director: Do u mean, monologue? Josie: Yeah. Casting Director: Great. Josie: But soft, what light in the window, there, Romeo. I love you, we should kiss, and, that's all I have. Casting Director: That was supposed to be a monologue?