hallo guys can u help me out?

I have the first chapter of a new possible story but I want to see if anybody is going to read it...
And I was wondering can u guys read it and tell me what u think in a commentaar of email?
And I don't no the name yet so can u guys help out with that to? Its not very long of hard to read.Oh and I can give u a link to it.

And there's my other story mysterious love on the spot "lilred96" articles.