“I want to go home,” I groaned noisily, smacking my head onto the gray tafel, tabel my vrienden and I sat at. I was in my first period physics class with my group of friends. It was the seconde dag of the school jaar and all looked as it had for the past three years.
Chris glanced over at me with dull blue eyes. “Yeah, well I do to, so shut up,” she replied with a grumpy sigh. No one was in a particularly good mood this time of morning, well Jeydon was, but that probably had something to do with the fact that she was used to getting up at the crack of dawn.
“Who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?” Leah asked with a small grin on her round face.
Chris lunged at her, but did not attack. Instead, she slid back into the plastic red chair at her portion of the table. With a yawn, she laid her head down. Ariel patted her back groggily, not really paying attention to anything with clouded eyes.
I sighed and glanced over at Dylan, who was a like a brother to me, to all of us. I was going to talk to him, but all of his attention was on a blonde haired boy on the other side of the room. I rolled my brown eyes and looked toward the front of the room. Mr. Raseche sat at his desk, a cup of coffee in his hand and black circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. I made myself comfortable, settling my head into my arms and half closed my eyes as I stared at the front of the room.
My eyes felt like they glazed over as I stared into oblivion. A bright blue color came into my line of sight and I blinked to clear my vision. A toned, blonde girl stood at the teacher’s desk. She wore baggy black shorts and a tight blue t-shirt. I could see her muscles through her overhemd, shirt and her pixie haircut made the bones in her face stand out more. I sat up and raked my fingers through my hair quickly in a messy attempt to fix it. God, she was hot. I looked over at my friends.
“Do u think she’s a new kid?” I asked quietly.
That seemed to get everyone’s attention. Each of them looked at the desk, at the girl.
Of course, Leah was the first to speak. “She looks like dyke.”
I glared at her. “And u don’t?” I asked agitatedly. Leah had always dressed in men’s clothing, but she was completely straight. Unlike me who dressed in women’s clothing, but that’s another story.
Leah stuck her tongue out at me, then turned her brown gaze back to the girl.
“She wasn’t here yesterday. I’ve never seen her here before,” Jeydon murmured.
“I know, that’s why I asked.” I rolled my eyes and turned back around to look at the girl. My face turned kers-, cherry red as I saw her sparkling blue eyes on me. I looked away quickly. “So, I think we should invite her over here.”
“Why?” Ariel asked raising an eyebrow.
She’s hot, I thought to myself. “She seems like she would fit in,” I replied. I took a breath and summoned up my courage. I turned back around and looked at the girl.
Mr. Raseche stood from his bureau and put a hand on the girl’s bony shoulder. “Everyone, may I have your attention?” The noisy classroom settled down rather quickly, mostly because everyone wanted to know about the new kid. “This is Sam Drews. She just moved here and I hope u make her senior jaar a great one!” Mr. Raseche was one of those teachers that sat on a pedestal and thought everyone was friends. Rather naïve of him in my opinion.
Sam looked around the room and I nodded a bit, signaling she was welcome at our table.
Mr. Raseche patted her shoulder. “Sit anywhere u like Sam.”
She nodded and came straight over to our table. We were probably the most diverse group in the room. We had a straight girl that dressed like a man, a bisexual player, a spaced-out blonde, a creative tough chick, a loud, overly dramatic queen, and of course, me. Sam grabbed a spare chair from the tafel, tabel volgende to ours and put it between Jeydon and I. I put my hand out to her.
“I’m Madiline, but everyone calls me Madi,” I introduced myself with a friendly smile.
She took my hand in hers and stared into my eyes. “It’s great to meet you.”
I took my hand away quickly before anyone else started looking. It felt like they knew I was attracted to her, but how could they? I would never tell… But did they know? What if they did? Jeydon and Dylan knew, but they had to force it out of me. “These are my friends,” I zei waving a hand around to gesture at them.
Jeydon waved and tucked a brown lock of hair behind her ear as she introduced herself.
“I’m Dylan!” he gushed with a brilliant smile.
“Leah,” she drawled and winked. Then grinned really big and laughed. “I don’t schommel, swing that way though.”
“I’m Ariel,” the blonde giggled.
Chris looked over at her and rolled her blue eyes. “And I’m the one that lets the blonde know when she’s being a dumb ass.”
Sam laughed. It was a very enchanting sound.
“That’s Chris,” I zei with a grin.
“Are u able to handle a racist joke?” Leah asked curiously.
Sam snorted. “Yeah.”
“Do u curse?” I asked.
“Fuck yeah,” she replied staring at me in eyes.
“What’s your favoriete number?” Jeydon inquired propping her chin up on her clasped hands.
“Sixty-nine,” Sam answered automatically.
I busted out laughing. “You’ll do just fine in this bunch, then.”
Sam grinned, then turned to everyone else. “I have a few vragen for u guys too.”
“Okay, shoot,” Jeydon said.
“How do u guys feel about gays?” she asked.
“No one really gives a fuck,” Leah said. “I just don’t want to see it.”
“She’s the judgmental one,” Chris interjected. “He’s the bisexual one.” She pointed to Dylan. “And she is gay central for the most part.”
I turned bright red. “Just a supporter,” I murmured and looked down at the table. And a member of the community, but I will never admit it, well, I will to a few people.
“Well, it’s always good to have a little support,” Sam zei lowly, so only I could hear her.
I glanced up at her and smiled a little. “Yeah, I think so.”
Sam turned back to the others. “That’s all I needed to know.”
“Hey,” Chris muttered, sliding a piece of folded paper over to Sam. “We’re having a hang out, party-like thing at my place Saturday. Would u like to come?”
Sam unfolded the paper and read over it. “Yeah, I’d love to come.” She looked over at me. “Are u going?”
My hart-, hart pounded in my chest and butterflies soared through my tummy. “Uh, yeah. Of course.” I nodded.
She smiled. “Good.”
“Alright class,” Mr. Raseche stood from his bureau and started teaching. I took that as my cue to tune out.
I leaned on my elbow and stared at the front of the room. I wasn’t concentrating though, not on the lesson at least. I kept thinking about Sam. The way she asked me if I was going to the party. God, she was hot. I closed my eyes. I wanted her, and I knew I could have her. But getting her was the hard part. Being in the closet is not an easy task.
Something bumped into my upper arm. I glanced over my shoulder, back at Sam. She slid me a slip of paper under the table. I glanced back at Mr. Raseche to make sure he couldn’t see us. After seeing he was too preoccupied with the problem on the board I took the paper from her and opened it up. It had her phone number and she asked me to call her. I smirked and shoved the paper into my jeans pocket. I quickly looked over my vrienden to see they were staring at the board blankly, my eyes flicked back over to Sam. I dropped a wink at her and turned back around. That was easier than I thought.
The rest of the dag seemed to go door in a flash. It turned out Sam was in my Physics class, Principles of Psychology course, and my lunch period. It made the dag interesting, I will say that much. Aside from the occasional glances, I didn’t get much from her. I could tell she was interested in me, but I couldn’t see exactly how interested she was. I chewed on my lip absently as I leaned against my silver Jeep in the school’s parking lot. The rest of the gang stood around me, chattering about Saturday… Tomorrow, actually.
“-Sam?”
I looked up, hearing the tail end of Ariel’s comment.
“I don’t know, but I get a good feeling from her,” Dylan replied.
I assumed they were talking about the new group addition. I thought it was a great idea, but some of that may have come from my attraction to her. I’d always admired beautiful things and this was no different. But all things aside, from the few moments I talked to her, she seemed like she would fit in with us pretty well.
“What do u think, Madi?” Jeydon asked looking over at me with big green eyes.
I blinked. “Uh, she’ll do great. She seems like she has our sense of humor. She did rather well at lunch… Oh, Chris, did u give her your address?”
Chris thought for a moment, her blonde hair falling into her face. “Yeah,” she zei finally, nodding.
“Okay, just making sure,” I replied, then looked up at the sky. It was starting to get cloudy and I figured a mid-August storm was going to blow through. “Well, I’m going to head home. See u guys tomorrow.” I waved at them a little, then turned around and unlocked my car.
“Fuck, wait up!” Jeydon yelled. “You’re giving me a ride while my car’s in the shop.”
“Oh, sorry. Well, get in,” I zei and slipped into the driver’s seat. I started the car and glanced over at Jeydon as she slipped into the car, her purple jeans sliding across the leather interior. I backed out of the parking spot and waved goodbye to my vrienden one last time.
Jeydon reached up and flipped the radio on as I pulled onto the main road. A populair song that I didn’t quite recognize started playing and Jeydon bobbed her head to the beat of the music. “So,” she started. “What do u think of Sam?”
“She’s great,” I replied flatly.
Jeydon snorted and rolled her eyes.
“What?” I glanced at her then back at the road.
“Nothing,” she murmured. “Just…” she exhaled. “Nothing.”
I huffed. “Just tell me, Jey. I’m going to find out eventually.”
“Exactly, so there is no point in me telling you,” she replied.
I fought the urge to groan as I stared out the windshield moodily. “Fine.”
After I dropped Jeydon off, I went straight home. I wanted to lock myself in my room and call Sam. Butterflies erupted in my tummy each time I thought about it. Different scenarios of her asking me out of calling me beautiful ran through my mind. I quickly pushed them out. How typical of a girl to think of stuff like that…
I pulled into my driveway. My parents weren’t home pagina yet, neither of them got off until six. I slid out of the Jeep and walked down the short sidewalk to the wooden deck. I jumped up the three steps to the main level, then crossed the deck and unlocked the white door. I crossed the threshold and locked the door behind me. I walked through the cream living room and went to my room. I shut the door behind me, then ran and leaped in the air. I landed on my bed in a splat and bounced at least two feet in the air.
I jerked my phone and the paper out of my pocket. I unfolded the crumpled up paper and typed the number into my phone. I took a deep breath to calm myself and hit the call button. I put the phone to my ear and lay back on my bed. It rang three times before she answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey Sam. It’s Madiline,” I zei in a friendly tone.
“Oh, hallo Madi,” she replied. “I’m glad u called.”
I smiled. “Me too… So, why exactly did u want me to call?”
“Because I thought it better to ask u over the phone than in class.”
“Ask me what?” I inquired.
“Are u gay?”
My mouth fell open. I wasn’t that obvious. I knew I was not that obvious. “Do u have some sort of gaydar from the gods?” I asked incredulously.
Sam chuckled. “No, but I saw u check me out several times today. I’m just observant.”
I nodded. “Obviously.”
“I also figure you’re in the closet,” she continued.
“Right again,” I replied, my cheeks turning pink.
“Well, if u ever need anything, I’ll be here for you. I know what you’re going through.”
I smiled thankfully. “You’re being too nice to a complete stranger,” I murmured shyly.
“You were being too nice to. u didn’t have to let me in your circle, but u did. Just think of this as my way of thanking you,” she said.
“Sammy! Come help me with the dishes! I know all these Nutella spoons aren’t mine!” a man’s voice called in the background.
“Okay!” Sam yelled back. “I have to go help my brother with the dishes. But, I’ll see u tomorrow, okay?”
“Sounds great,” I said.
“Bye.” She hung up.
I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it for the longest time. For knowing me in such a short amount of time, she managed to figure out a lot. It freaked me out a little, but I couldn’t do anything about it. Actually, I found that quality nice. It was nice not to have to explain myself all the time. Still, it could be irritating considering I’ve never been the one to wear my emotions on my sleeve. I rolled over to face the purple uithangbord of my bedroom. I closed my eyes and began to think of what tomorrow would hold.
Chris glanced over at me with dull blue eyes. “Yeah, well I do to, so shut up,” she replied with a grumpy sigh. No one was in a particularly good mood this time of morning, well Jeydon was, but that probably had something to do with the fact that she was used to getting up at the crack of dawn.
“Who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?” Leah asked with a small grin on her round face.
Chris lunged at her, but did not attack. Instead, she slid back into the plastic red chair at her portion of the table. With a yawn, she laid her head down. Ariel patted her back groggily, not really paying attention to anything with clouded eyes.
I sighed and glanced over at Dylan, who was a like a brother to me, to all of us. I was going to talk to him, but all of his attention was on a blonde haired boy on the other side of the room. I rolled my brown eyes and looked toward the front of the room. Mr. Raseche sat at his desk, a cup of coffee in his hand and black circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. I made myself comfortable, settling my head into my arms and half closed my eyes as I stared at the front of the room.
My eyes felt like they glazed over as I stared into oblivion. A bright blue color came into my line of sight and I blinked to clear my vision. A toned, blonde girl stood at the teacher’s desk. She wore baggy black shorts and a tight blue t-shirt. I could see her muscles through her overhemd, shirt and her pixie haircut made the bones in her face stand out more. I sat up and raked my fingers through my hair quickly in a messy attempt to fix it. God, she was hot. I looked over at my friends.
“Do u think she’s a new kid?” I asked quietly.
That seemed to get everyone’s attention. Each of them looked at the desk, at the girl.
Of course, Leah was the first to speak. “She looks like dyke.”
I glared at her. “And u don’t?” I asked agitatedly. Leah had always dressed in men’s clothing, but she was completely straight. Unlike me who dressed in women’s clothing, but that’s another story.
Leah stuck her tongue out at me, then turned her brown gaze back to the girl.
“She wasn’t here yesterday. I’ve never seen her here before,” Jeydon murmured.
“I know, that’s why I asked.” I rolled my eyes and turned back around to look at the girl. My face turned kers-, cherry red as I saw her sparkling blue eyes on me. I looked away quickly. “So, I think we should invite her over here.”
“Why?” Ariel asked raising an eyebrow.
She’s hot, I thought to myself. “She seems like she would fit in,” I replied. I took a breath and summoned up my courage. I turned back around and looked at the girl.
Mr. Raseche stood from his bureau and put a hand on the girl’s bony shoulder. “Everyone, may I have your attention?” The noisy classroom settled down rather quickly, mostly because everyone wanted to know about the new kid. “This is Sam Drews. She just moved here and I hope u make her senior jaar a great one!” Mr. Raseche was one of those teachers that sat on a pedestal and thought everyone was friends. Rather naïve of him in my opinion.
Sam looked around the room and I nodded a bit, signaling she was welcome at our table.
Mr. Raseche patted her shoulder. “Sit anywhere u like Sam.”
She nodded and came straight over to our table. We were probably the most diverse group in the room. We had a straight girl that dressed like a man, a bisexual player, a spaced-out blonde, a creative tough chick, a loud, overly dramatic queen, and of course, me. Sam grabbed a spare chair from the tafel, tabel volgende to ours and put it between Jeydon and I. I put my hand out to her.
“I’m Madiline, but everyone calls me Madi,” I introduced myself with a friendly smile.
She took my hand in hers and stared into my eyes. “It’s great to meet you.”
I took my hand away quickly before anyone else started looking. It felt like they knew I was attracted to her, but how could they? I would never tell… But did they know? What if they did? Jeydon and Dylan knew, but they had to force it out of me. “These are my friends,” I zei waving a hand around to gesture at them.
Jeydon waved and tucked a brown lock of hair behind her ear as she introduced herself.
“I’m Dylan!” he gushed with a brilliant smile.
“Leah,” she drawled and winked. Then grinned really big and laughed. “I don’t schommel, swing that way though.”
“I’m Ariel,” the blonde giggled.
Chris looked over at her and rolled her blue eyes. “And I’m the one that lets the blonde know when she’s being a dumb ass.”
Sam laughed. It was a very enchanting sound.
“That’s Chris,” I zei with a grin.
“Are u able to handle a racist joke?” Leah asked curiously.
Sam snorted. “Yeah.”
“Do u curse?” I asked.
“Fuck yeah,” she replied staring at me in eyes.
“What’s your favoriete number?” Jeydon inquired propping her chin up on her clasped hands.
“Sixty-nine,” Sam answered automatically.
I busted out laughing. “You’ll do just fine in this bunch, then.”
Sam grinned, then turned to everyone else. “I have a few vragen for u guys too.”
“Okay, shoot,” Jeydon said.
“How do u guys feel about gays?” she asked.
“No one really gives a fuck,” Leah said. “I just don’t want to see it.”
“She’s the judgmental one,” Chris interjected. “He’s the bisexual one.” She pointed to Dylan. “And she is gay central for the most part.”
I turned bright red. “Just a supporter,” I murmured and looked down at the table. And a member of the community, but I will never admit it, well, I will to a few people.
“Well, it’s always good to have a little support,” Sam zei lowly, so only I could hear her.
I glanced up at her and smiled a little. “Yeah, I think so.”
Sam turned back to the others. “That’s all I needed to know.”
“Hey,” Chris muttered, sliding a piece of folded paper over to Sam. “We’re having a hang out, party-like thing at my place Saturday. Would u like to come?”
Sam unfolded the paper and read over it. “Yeah, I’d love to come.” She looked over at me. “Are u going?”
My hart-, hart pounded in my chest and butterflies soared through my tummy. “Uh, yeah. Of course.” I nodded.
She smiled. “Good.”
“Alright class,” Mr. Raseche stood from his bureau and started teaching. I took that as my cue to tune out.
I leaned on my elbow and stared at the front of the room. I wasn’t concentrating though, not on the lesson at least. I kept thinking about Sam. The way she asked me if I was going to the party. God, she was hot. I closed my eyes. I wanted her, and I knew I could have her. But getting her was the hard part. Being in the closet is not an easy task.
Something bumped into my upper arm. I glanced over my shoulder, back at Sam. She slid me a slip of paper under the table. I glanced back at Mr. Raseche to make sure he couldn’t see us. After seeing he was too preoccupied with the problem on the board I took the paper from her and opened it up. It had her phone number and she asked me to call her. I smirked and shoved the paper into my jeans pocket. I quickly looked over my vrienden to see they were staring at the board blankly, my eyes flicked back over to Sam. I dropped a wink at her and turned back around. That was easier than I thought.
The rest of the dag seemed to go door in a flash. It turned out Sam was in my Physics class, Principles of Psychology course, and my lunch period. It made the dag interesting, I will say that much. Aside from the occasional glances, I didn’t get much from her. I could tell she was interested in me, but I couldn’t see exactly how interested she was. I chewed on my lip absently as I leaned against my silver Jeep in the school’s parking lot. The rest of the gang stood around me, chattering about Saturday… Tomorrow, actually.
“-Sam?”
I looked up, hearing the tail end of Ariel’s comment.
“I don’t know, but I get a good feeling from her,” Dylan replied.
I assumed they were talking about the new group addition. I thought it was a great idea, but some of that may have come from my attraction to her. I’d always admired beautiful things and this was no different. But all things aside, from the few moments I talked to her, she seemed like she would fit in with us pretty well.
“What do u think, Madi?” Jeydon asked looking over at me with big green eyes.
I blinked. “Uh, she’ll do great. She seems like she has our sense of humor. She did rather well at lunch… Oh, Chris, did u give her your address?”
Chris thought for a moment, her blonde hair falling into her face. “Yeah,” she zei finally, nodding.
“Okay, just making sure,” I replied, then looked up at the sky. It was starting to get cloudy and I figured a mid-August storm was going to blow through. “Well, I’m going to head home. See u guys tomorrow.” I waved at them a little, then turned around and unlocked my car.
“Fuck, wait up!” Jeydon yelled. “You’re giving me a ride while my car’s in the shop.”
“Oh, sorry. Well, get in,” I zei and slipped into the driver’s seat. I started the car and glanced over at Jeydon as she slipped into the car, her purple jeans sliding across the leather interior. I backed out of the parking spot and waved goodbye to my vrienden one last time.
Jeydon reached up and flipped the radio on as I pulled onto the main road. A populair song that I didn’t quite recognize started playing and Jeydon bobbed her head to the beat of the music. “So,” she started. “What do u think of Sam?”
“She’s great,” I replied flatly.
Jeydon snorted and rolled her eyes.
“What?” I glanced at her then back at the road.
“Nothing,” she murmured. “Just…” she exhaled. “Nothing.”
I huffed. “Just tell me, Jey. I’m going to find out eventually.”
“Exactly, so there is no point in me telling you,” she replied.
I fought the urge to groan as I stared out the windshield moodily. “Fine.”
After I dropped Jeydon off, I went straight home. I wanted to lock myself in my room and call Sam. Butterflies erupted in my tummy each time I thought about it. Different scenarios of her asking me out of calling me beautiful ran through my mind. I quickly pushed them out. How typical of a girl to think of stuff like that…
I pulled into my driveway. My parents weren’t home pagina yet, neither of them got off until six. I slid out of the Jeep and walked down the short sidewalk to the wooden deck. I jumped up the three steps to the main level, then crossed the deck and unlocked the white door. I crossed the threshold and locked the door behind me. I walked through the cream living room and went to my room. I shut the door behind me, then ran and leaped in the air. I landed on my bed in a splat and bounced at least two feet in the air.
I jerked my phone and the paper out of my pocket. I unfolded the crumpled up paper and typed the number into my phone. I took a deep breath to calm myself and hit the call button. I put the phone to my ear and lay back on my bed. It rang three times before she answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey Sam. It’s Madiline,” I zei in a friendly tone.
“Oh, hallo Madi,” she replied. “I’m glad u called.”
I smiled. “Me too… So, why exactly did u want me to call?”
“Because I thought it better to ask u over the phone than in class.”
“Ask me what?” I inquired.
“Are u gay?”
My mouth fell open. I wasn’t that obvious. I knew I was not that obvious. “Do u have some sort of gaydar from the gods?” I asked incredulously.
Sam chuckled. “No, but I saw u check me out several times today. I’m just observant.”
I nodded. “Obviously.”
“I also figure you’re in the closet,” she continued.
“Right again,” I replied, my cheeks turning pink.
“Well, if u ever need anything, I’ll be here for you. I know what you’re going through.”
I smiled thankfully. “You’re being too nice to a complete stranger,” I murmured shyly.
“You were being too nice to. u didn’t have to let me in your circle, but u did. Just think of this as my way of thanking you,” she said.
“Sammy! Come help me with the dishes! I know all these Nutella spoons aren’t mine!” a man’s voice called in the background.
“Okay!” Sam yelled back. “I have to go help my brother with the dishes. But, I’ll see u tomorrow, okay?”
“Sounds great,” I said.
“Bye.” She hung up.
I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it for the longest time. For knowing me in such a short amount of time, she managed to figure out a lot. It freaked me out a little, but I couldn’t do anything about it. Actually, I found that quality nice. It was nice not to have to explain myself all the time. Still, it could be irritating considering I’ve never been the one to wear my emotions on my sleeve. I rolled over to face the purple uithangbord of my bedroom. I closed my eyes and began to think of what tomorrow would hold.
I own nothing!
Enjoy!
This is what u call the Earth
This is what people call the world
This is what we call life
We can't go on pretending dag door day
That good things will always happen
Stormy days will come, it's not a miracle
But the storm will end soon, and all will be clear again
Heavy rain's crashing against my windowsill
I think, when will this ever stop?
The thunder's crashing against the trees outside
Today's not going to be a fine day, but it will end
I woke up this morning and guess what I saw
Bright sunny mornings with a clear future
No one's gonna stop me from believin
The rain stopped and the future's bright again
Good and bad create our lives
We can't pretend that everything's gonna always be alright
It's hard to think that something's gonna be wrong
But it's the truth, the whole truth.
We can't go on dag door dag pretending
Everything's gonna be alright
But we know that sunny days will come out
Soon of later.