i had some time off school so i decided to write some meer for u guys!
i don't think i'll stop yet because i really like writing this. i'll see where it goes :)



I didn’t really want to. She still looked meer asleep than awake, but respected her wishes. What choice did I have?
I set her on her feet and Charlie verplaats out of the way so she could walk past him. Almost immediately when I let go, a deep feeling of aching went through me. It hurt to let her go, even for a second. After I released her, I could see that she was very unstable, and being sleep deprived hardly helped her balance problems. I saw her tilting vooruit, voorwaarts towards the concrete, and forced myself to catch her slowly while Charlie was watching. As soon as I caught her veilig in my arms the pain left me. I didn’t know what the ache was, but it made the fact I couldn’t ever leave her again, glaringly obvious.
“Just let me get her upstairs.” I pleaded with Charlie. “Then I’ll leave.” I had no real intention of leaving her tonight, but Charlie needed to calm down.
The words seemed to register with Bella slowly, but she still cried out loud when it did.
“No.” She whimpered, panicking. She trembled slightly and I instantly regretted what I had said.
“I won’t be far.” I whispered into her ear, so low Charlie didn’t have a chance of hearing.
She seemed to accept my words, so holding her gently but close, I carried her upstairs.
I placed her gently under her covers, but she refused to let go of my shirt. As gently as I could, I prised her delicate fingers away from my clothes and tucked her hand under her covers as well.
She seemed peaceful for now, even though a tiny crease was still between her eyebrows.
I sighed lightly and moved away. Again it hurt to leave her, but I knew I had to face Charlie. I knew what he was going to say, but that didn’t make it any easier.
As soon as my foot touched the bottom step, Charlie was in front on me, his red face right up to mine.
“Get outside, now.” He seethed, barely keeping himself from screaming at me.
For once I was relieved that I could only feel the tenor of his thoughts, not what he was actually thinking. I nodded tightly and did as he wished. When I got out the front I was glad to see Rose and Emmett had left. This was going to be hard enough without them watching.
I moved out into yard before turning to face Charlie. His face had gone from red to a light shade of purple. At least I had a degree in medicine so I could help him if he had a hart-, hart attack.
I stood quietly in front of him, waiting. I could feel the tension and anger building. He was seconden away from exploding and I realised this might be the only chance for me to say anything.
I opened my mouth to say something, but suddenly I realised I deserved Charlie’s anger, his hate.
The mask on my face slipped, and the pain, regret and anguish showed clearly. This stopped Charlie for a second, and I took the opportunity to say something.
“Don’t hold back.” I whispered quietly so he could only just hear me. Agony seeped into my words.
Charlie looked at me oddly, but his anger hadn’t lessened.
“You did this to her.” He muttered, and I immediately understood. The tenor of his thoughts contained pain now, now just anger.
Yell, I wanted to say, scream at me. I deserve it.
And he did just that.
“For a week,” Charlie began, his voice rising with every word. “For one full week, she did nothing. Wouldn’t sleep, wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t do anything. That was your fault.” He voice got a fraction louder. “Then she seemed to recover. Sure, she woke up screaming every night, but she was better.” He paused. “So I thought.” He added quietly.
“She went to school, she ate, she slept, but she wasn’t her. She was an empty shell. I didn’t know what to do, but every time she got up in the morning, I blamed you.” Hate entered his voice, and he couldn’t control his anger anymore.
“I was your fault!” he yelled. I flinched. It was entirely my fault. I knew that.
“You had to know how she felt about you!” he said, using the past tense. Pain swept through me.
“You had to know what leaving would do to her! She wasn’t Bella anymore; she was a shell, a husk. For months she was in pain, crying and screaming in the middle of the night! I couldn’t do anything! Finally things started looking up. She went out with friends, she talked and she smiled.” Charlies face hardened. “Then I get home pagina after a funeral and I see a note saying she’s gone, who knows where, and I knew it was about you! She was getting better, recovering, and then u come into her life again! Why couldn’t u just leave her alone? Haven’t u caused her enough pain?!” Charlie yelled at the top, boven of his voice. I just stood there, taking his anger and hate. I deserved it after what I had done. I would never forgive myself for leaving her, even if I lived for all eternity.
“I never what to see u again, so help me if I do. Don’t u ever set foot on my property again, and if u come within a mile radius of my daughter, I will have u locked up so fast, your head will spin!” he was so worked up, spit flew out of his mouth as he yelled at me.
“Now, GET LOST!” he finished. The saying, if looks could kill ran through my head.
I hung my head. There was just one thing I had to say to Charlie.
“You will never know how sorry I am, Charlie.” I zei quietly. I looked up at him and couldn’t help the pain that crossed my face.
“I will never, ever forgive myself. I understand that u never want to see me again and I will respect your wishes.” I finished.
Charlie was still red in the face so I turned away from him and walked at human pace until I was out of his sight. I waited until he was inside before I ran as fast as I could to Bella’s side. Her window was open as it always was, and as I slid through her beautiful scent hit me, and I felt slightly better.



something u have to know is that Edward cant hear the actual thoughts of Charlie. i didn't decide this, steph meyer did in midnight sun. i know i shouldn't have read midnight sun, but if steph never finishes it then i'll take what i can get cos its awsome.
hope u like it :)