I never left our house; I never left my bed for too long. Alice and Rose would come door and try to get me out of bed but, it never worked. I would end up screaming at them and throwing what was closest to me at the uithangbord volgende to them. I knew I should feel bad for being so mean to them, but I couldn’t really feel anything. Everyone was trying to push me to get on with my life. Mom, Rose and Alice would come door everyday and try different methods to get me out of bed. Sometimes they would sit and not say anything. Other times they would get angry and try to force me to get out of bed. It just so happened to be one of these days when the fierce threesome (mom, Alice and Rose). They were trying to tear me away from my room from my house. “Ness, u need to get out. u need to snap out of this.” Rose was saying as she was pulling my blankets off of me. “Honey this has to stop, we are just trying to help you.” Mom was at my side with her hand on my face. “Nessie come out with us, come and be with your family. We miss you.” Alice was volgende to mom looking at me. “Leave me alone, please.” I was trying to stay calm and not overreact. I could feel my anger start to build, why they couldn’t just do what I told them. I was about to let my anger get the best of me when Jake came walking in. “I think u three need to leave. NOW” Jake was angry. He knew what was going on with me. He seemed to be the only one who understood. “Look dog, she needs to snap out of this. You’re not helping door keeping her locked up here like a prisoner.” “She’s not a prisoner, this is her house she can do what she wants.” Rose and Jake were inches from each other. “That is quite enough; everyone out NOW.” I have never seen of heard grandma raise her voice before. u would never expect this from her. “Esme, we are only trying to help her. She needs to be with her family; we can all help her.” Rose was trying to reason with Esme. “No Rose, she needs to be alone. I know what she needs. Now everyone leave.” She held her hand out and pointed at the door. Rose and Alice left but my mom and Jake stayed. “Was I not clear when I zei everyone out?” “She’s my daughter.” “And she’s my wife.” Esme put a hand on my mother’s shoulder. Give me a few hours wither and then I’ll talk with Jacob. I’ll bring her up to the house later. You’ll see, trust me.” Esme looked at them and smiles. “Ness, I’ll see u in a few hours. If u need anything I’ll be at the main house with everyone else.” Jake said. He and my mom waved goodbye and they were gone. Grandma went to the keuken-, keuken then came back with some thee for me. She pulled back my blankets and offered me her hand. We walked into the living room and sat on the couch. “Nessie, me of all people know what u are going through. I know what it feels like to lose a child. u need to talk with someone and I volunteered myself for that job.” “I don’t know where to start. I feel lost, like I’m drowning. Everyone thinks I can snap out of this, but I don’t know what this is. I just feel empty; like something is missing and I can’t put myself back together. I was trying not to let my tears out. “Sweetheart, I’m not saying things are magically going to be fixed overnight. But, u can’t keep yourself locked away like this. How do u think I ended up a vampire. After I lost my baby I thought the worst of myself. I convinced myself that it was my fault he had died. No matter what anyone told me it was my fault. So, I went to the cliffs and thought the only way to make things right were to end my life. I just don’t want u to think that there isn’t anyone who understands and loves you.” “I know everyone loves me, and there isn’t anything in this world that would make me want to be away from Jacob. I love him and I know he loves me. He so understands with all of this. I know he doesn’t blame me for what happened. I just don’t understand how he isn’t as sad as I am.” I told her. “Ness, he is sad, it’s just different for him.” Grandma said. “How is it different for him? He felt them move, he saw them on the ultra sounds.” I didn’t understand. “It’s different because he wasn’t caring them. u were, and that puts and extra burden on you. Time will only help u understand that there was nothing u did wrong, these things happen and u need to pick yourself up. u can’t let this eat u up inside.” Grandma got up from the divan, bank and put my cup of thee in the sink. She came over to me and pulled me off the couch. “Now go take a douche and get cleaned up. Jacob is taking u out for dinner, I’ll go get him now and bring him back.” Grandma gave me a hug and was out the door. I felt good again almost whole for the first time in weeks. I wanted to tell Jake how sorry I was and that I loved him. The douche was so refreshing; it felt good to take care of myself. I dressed in my favoriete red dress. I knew Jake would love it; red is his favoriete color on me. I stepped outside to get some fresh air. I felt the sun on my face; it felt so good, I felt alive again. That’s when I felt something sharp in my neck. I looked to see behind me, I saw nothing. Then the blackness washed over me and I felt myself falling to the ground.