Jacob and I were sat at my keuken-, keuken tafel, tabel eating breakfast. Edward had left as soon as Jacob knocked on my door at eight. Sam had arranged for Edward and Jacob to work in twelve uur shifts to protect me. Edward was from eight at night to eight in the morning and Jacob was eight in the morning to eight at night. They never really stuck to their shifts and sometimes Jacob stayed until after midnight and Edward spent the entire dag with me and Jacob. Jacob and Edward were civil. They spoke to each other with respect and they didn’t argue and I swear I even saw them laughing together. I loved having the both of them together and sort of friends. It made everything a lot easier.
“I need to arrange some things for the wedding,” Edward had zei as he kissed my cheek in goodbye. “Be a good girl for Jacob.”
He was gone before I could ask him what things he needed to arrange. Jacob had loped into the house, totally unaware that I was getting married tomorrow. Until now.
Jacob was now choking on a piece of geroosterd brood, toast and I had to stempel, punch him in the back.
“I’m worried I’ll not live to actually have my wedding on the proper date,” I zei as I punched his back again.
Jacob coughed and the piece of geroosterd brood, toast slid out of his mouth and onto the table. He coughed again and looked at me. I didn’t know what I could see in his eyes. Anger maybe. Concern?
“If u have your wedding tomorrow,” he said, slowly. “That means you’ll have your wedding night and then.....”
I quickly began to eat my cereal. This was an awkward conversation I did not want to have with him. I knew what he was thinking. He thought Edward would hurt me. He was certain Edward would kill me.
“I know this is awkward,” Jacob said. “I know, but it has to be said.”
“He won’t hurt me,” I said, firmly. I continued to spoon cornflakes into my mouth as if there was no tomorrow.
“He’s a vampire, Kayla. He’s is so much stronger than you. I bet he could kill u with his little finger.”
“I am strong too, Jay,” I said, dropping my spoon. “You know that. If he even so much as touched me in a way that caused me little pain, I would tell him and he would stop.”
“But what if he didn’t?”
“Then I’d drop kick him.”
Jacob sighed and looked away from me. He looked so much older these days. He didn’t seem to be the carefree eighteen jaar old he should be. I guess it was the burden of protecting three people. It was taking its toll on him. He was tired, he needed meer rest. Maybe if he didn’t have to come around here everyday. He could use the time to have meer than a couple hours sleep. He could use the extra time to just relax and be a teenager. I was willing to be dropped. He didn’t need to protect me. I was cool on my own. But even as I zei it, fear rose up in me.
No. I didn’t need to be babysat.
“You’re tired,” I said. “You need to sleep more.”
His head snapped round.
“I can’t sleep anymore than the time I’m given,” he said. “I have to be here for you.”
“Maybe u don’t need to be around here,” I suggested. “You could have a lie in. Paul is always outside at this time with Jared. They could come in here and be here for me.”
“Paul and Jared?” he laughed. “I don’t trust anyone but me and Edward.”
“Then just drop me,” I said, touching his arm. “Stop protecting me so much.”
His eyes widened and his arm began to shake.
“Are u stupid?” His voice was forced with calm. “Stop protecting you? Someone wants to kill you!”
He shook of my hand and stood up. He looked at me once and then walked away into the living room. I sighed. Of course he wouldn’t take this well. But everyone just needed to loosen up. I could take care of myself.
“Look, I don’t mean just ignore me completely,” I called to him. “I’m just saying, ease up a bit. Get some meer sleep. Eat properly instead of snacking whenever u have time. It’s all too much.”
“I must protect you!” he shouted back at me. “Don’t u understand that?!”
I walked into the living room where he was shaking as if he was stuck in a chill locker. I had done this. I had made him furious. But what could I do? I didn’t want him to hurt himself door taking on too much. Not only was he protecting me twelve hours a day, he was also running around that damn forest making sure Mitchell wasn’t on his way. He wasn’t getting much Jacob time.
I put my arms around him. As always he was one hundred and eight degrees. No matter how many times I hugged Jacob, the change from hugging someone so freezing cold to someone boiling hot was always weird. Then Jacob wrapped his strong arms around me and his mad shaking subsided.
“I don’t want u to die,” he whispered. “You always seem to be on the verge of death.”
“I know,” I whispered back. “I don’t know how it happens.”
“You must piss off a lot of people.”
I tried to laugh but it didn’t sound right.
“Just be happy,” I zei to him. “Come to my wedding, smile for me, enjoy yourself. I’ll make sure there are two cakes so u and your vrienden can have meer than one piece.”
“You want the rest of the pack to come?” Jacob sounded surprised.
“Well, yeah,” I said, looking up at his puzzled face. “They are risking their lives for me and Edward.”
“You are so strange.” Jacob shook his head. “Inviting wolves to a vampire wedding.”
“That’s how I roll.”
I wasn’t going to let Alice, Rosalie and Esme decorate the house for the wedding all on their own. It was my idea to have the wedding on Friday so I was planning to help out. It didn’t seem fair to leave it all to them so I was going to go around and do my part but before I could mention it to Jacob Alice called me.
“You’re not coming around today,” she zei to me before I could say hello.
“Why not?” I asked. “It is my wedding. I can be there if I want to be there.”
“It’s a surprise for you.” I could hear a smile in Alice’s voice. I didn’t like Alice’s smiles much. It usually involved shopping, makeovers of the colour pink.
“But I need to be there,” I zei to her, annoyed. This was my wedding. “I’ve invited the wolves to the wedding. We need extra of everything.”
“I already know,” Alice said, sounding irritated. “I saw the wedding vanish and knew what you’d done. We’re taking care of it.”
“Alice u can’t do this! It’s my wedding!”
“Just come around the house at eight tomorrow. Bye!”
“No, wait!” I shouted down the phone. “Put Esme on now!”
Alice sighed but I could still hear that smile. I wanted to know what she’d done. I needed assurance that everything was how I had planned in the beginning.
“Kayla, calm down,” Esme zei in her soothing voice. “Rosalie has reined Alice in on this one. It will be nothing like your birthday.”
My birthday was a nightmare. The entire Cullen household was decorated pink. roze banners, roze balloons, roze wrapping paper, roze streamers, roze flowers in roze vases, roze cake on roze plates. It was endless.
“Are u sure?” I asked her nervously. “She hasn’t dyed my dress roze of anything?”
“We are taking care of it. It will be even better than u had originally thought. Just relax and enjoy your last dag of being single.”
“I’ll try,” I said, sighing. “Thanks Esme. For letting me have the wedding tomorrow. It means a lot to me.”
“I already consider u one of my daughters,” Esme said. “I only want u to be happy.”
I felt tears spilling onto my cheeks.
“Oh Esme,” I cried to her. “I love u so much.”
She already considered me her daughter? Oh my God, I loved her even more. I already thought of her and Carlisle as seconde parents and to know she felt the same……… But then I remembered my own mother and how she thought the wedding was in nine weeks and not tomorrow. Shit.
“Esme!” I cried down the phone. “My mum won’t be here for the wedding.”
“Don’t panic,” Esme said. “Edward is arranging that. We’re taking care of everything. So like I said, relax.”
I wiped my eyes and sniffed.
Relax? That was easy enough to say. I was all jittery now. I wanted to know what was happening over at the house. Oh I wished I would have a vision just to see what was going on.
“Kay, chill,” Jacob said, walking over to me. “Trust Esme. She’s the only sane girl vampire in that coven. She’ll have it under control.”
“Did u call Sam and tell him?” I asked him. I’d told him to call Sam just before Alice had called me. Sam would have to know I was getting married tomorrow so he could sort out all the wolves and that. I wanted them to be there so they could have a fun dag for once. Even if it was watching their enemy marrying the pale face they were supposed to be protecting from him.
“He wasn’t happy at first,” Jacob answered. “But he says it doesn’t really affect the security measures he has in place now. It’s actually better since we’ll all be in the one place if anything does happen.”
“Which it won’t,” I said. “If Mitchell turns up at my wedding I’ll kill him myself. Nothing is ruining it.”
Jacob laughed and ruffled my hair as if I was a small child. I found this very condescending and I twatted his arm away.
“Hey,” I said, annoyed. “I could kill Mitchell if I wanted to.”
“You wanted to kidnap him and scare him away,” he said, folding his arms across his huge naked chest. “I don’t think you’re the killing type.”
“I almost killed u once,” I reminded him sadly. “I am most definitely the killing type.”
“That was completely door accident and because I provoked you. u are not like us, Kayla.” He turned away from me.
“What do u mean?”
I reached out to him, my hand touching his shoulder. He turned back around and suddenly Jacob’s eyes looked fifty years old.
“The pack, me, Edward, the Cullens, Charlie, Tess. We’d all kill without a seconde thought. That’s what we are. But you, someone threatens your life and u can’t beer to even think of them getting a paper cut never mind killed.”
“That’s not true,” I argued. “Mitchell was my friend. Of course I don’t want to see him killed!”
I looked down. He had me there. I couldn’t kill Loren. It was a subconscious action that did it. Seeing the dagger out of the corner of my eye and pulling the trigger to defend myself. Completely involuntary action.
“You couldn’t kill him.” Jacob wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “You can’t kill anyone. u say u could but you’re too good of a person to do it. u don’t have it in you.”
I don’t have it in me? I’m supposed to be able to kill people. I’m an Azdi! I’m supposed to kill vampires and Jenzis and werewolves and sorcerers. I’m supposed to protect people! How can I do that if I can’t kill anyone? Jacob was right when he zei I couldn’t kill anyone. But could I kill someone to protect the ones I loved? If Charlie’s life was in danger and the death of his attacker was the only way to save him, could I do it then? I wouldn’t be able to. I’d attack the attacker, I’d beat him to within an inch of his life but I wouldn’t kill him.
“Don’t worry about it,” Jacob said, soothingly. “That’s why we’re here. We’ll do all the work for you.”
I shook my head.
“You can’t always be here to protect me Jake,” I said. “I need to be able to defend myself.”
“And u can,” he said, then added quietly. ‘To a certain extent.”
He pulled me into a beer hug, trying to cheer me up but it didn’t work. All I could think about was how I couldn’t protect the people I loved as well as I thought.