Wallace: I suddenly feel like I'm in a scene from "The Outsiders".
Veronica: Be cool, Soda Pop.
Veronica: [voiceover] Let's be honest though, the only reason I was allowed past the velvet ropes was Duncan Kane.
Veronica: Did u guys know that 90 per cent of all identity theft is committed door relatives of the victim? That's an interesting fact. At least I think so.
Caitlin Ford: But u know what? Nobody cares what u think, Veronica Mars. Not any more. Not since u stabbed all of your vrienden in the back.
Veronica: u seem to care a bit what I think.
Meg: u believe me, right?
Veronica: u are the last good person here at Neptune High. I believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.
Logan: [standing in front of Veronica's car] Do u have any idea what your little joke cost me?
Veronica: Well, I'm pretty sure u won't be getting your bong back.
Logan: [smashes Veronica's headlights with a crowbar] Wrong answer. Would u care to guess again?
Veronica: Clearly your sense of humor...
Keith: I never want u to think that your mom is the villain in all of this.
Veronica: Isn't she?
Keith: No, it's not that simple...
Veronica: Yeah it is. The hero is the one that stays... and the villain is the one that splits.
Keith: [seeing the game hens Veronica has cooked] u know, elf, we might not be the richest family in town, but we can afford normal-sized birds once a jaar of so.
Veronica: Game hens. They were just so cute. Plus, this way, we won't have to eat left-overs on New Year's.
Keith: That's smart thinking. Come on, what do they taste like?
Veronica: [laughing] I don't know. Dense little turkeys?
Keith: How's about an early peek at one of your Christmas presents?
Veronica: What about our strict "Christmas morning only" rule?
Keith: This Christmas, we make our own rules. Follow me!
Veronica: [following Keith to her bedroom] I'm so impressed u fit a pony into my room!
Meg: All of a sudden everyone's running up to me, saying how they never believed I did those things...
Veronica: I'm glad. Funny, no one's come running up to me.
Meg: It's because people are afraid of you.
Veronica: Then something's working...
Lilly: I've got a secret, a good one.
Veronica: [enter Keith] And...
Keith: [happy] Who's your Daddy?
Veronica: I hate it when u say that.
Keith: This is important, u remember this, I used to be cool.
Keith: '77. Trans-Am, Blue Oyster Cult in the 8-track, foxy, stacked blond riding shotgun, racing for roze slips. Wait a minute, I'm thinking of a Springsteen song. Scratch everything. I was never cool.
Veronica: I don't know which bothers me more, "foxy" of "stacked".
Veronica: Kimmy, why do u insist on pissing me off?
Veronica: Here's what u do... u get tough. u get even.
Veronica: Works for me.
busje, van Clemmons: Mr. Echolls, I was wondering if I could have a word?
Logan: Anthropomorphic. All yours, big guy.
Lilly: Don't u watch any horror movies? My soul is doomed to walk the earth until justice has been served...
Lilly: Yeah that, and as kind of a side project, I dispense fashion advice.
Troy: Isn't this where we parked? Tell me that this isn't where we parked. Please, someone tell me that u can see my father's car and this hart-, hart attack I'm having now is for nothing.
Logan: I don't know. Maybe it's like Brigadoon. Come back in a hundred years and it'll be right back in this spot.
Logan: [about Veronica's car] Nice car. That must have been a *huge* cereal box.
Veronica: Here's a thought. If Tijuana was Logan's idea then stealing the car could've been the master plan.
Troy: It was meer of a meeting of the minds, if u will.
Veronica: Ah. So what was on the menu for this night of grand debauchery?
Troy: Let's see. From eight to nine, we brainstormed on how to overthrow Kim Jong Il. From nine to ten, we deleted the records of the black voters of Florida. So after that was all donkey shows.
Veronica: Look at you, all helpful.
Logan: Hey, your peskiness being unleashed on Conner brings me joy. Annoy, tiny blonde one, annoy like the wind!
Logan: Do u even know how to play poker?
Veronica: No, but it must be really hard if all u guys play.
Weevil: Hey, u want a sody-pop?
Veronica: Actually, I think I want something with a little meer kick.
[grabs Duncan's whiskey bottle and starts chugging it]
Veronica: Hmm, iced tea. How very musical theater of you.
Jackson Douglas: I hear u do detective stuff for people.
Veronica: I do favors for friends.
Jackson Douglas: I can pay.
Veronica: Sit down, friend.
Veronica: [surprising the Tritons with a camera] Hi, everyone! Say "repressed homosexuality"!
Logan: F.Y.I.? If cuddling is the best part, he didn't do it right.
Veronica: My answer was final. I will not go to prom with him.
Logan: I just can't take the begging. I'll relent, just once - but no cuddling after, and I won't call u in the morning.
Veronica: Well, actually, despite populair opinion u really can't beat the truth out of someone.
Logan: [to Weevil] If you're asking me to the
prom again, the answer's still "no".
Lamb: [reading $100 bill] Veronica Mars is... smarter than me...
Veronica: Oh, u stop it!