Jade Dumps Beck
Tori: hallo guys! [runs over to the tafel, tabel with Beck and Andre] Dude, look who's on the Buzzfinger homepage! [shows what's on her PearPhone to Beck]
Beck: Aw, poor vlaamse gaai, jay Leno.
Tori: What? No, under that! [presses some buttons on her phone and shows it to him again]
Beck: Oh?
Tori: Oh?! That's u and Alyssa Vaughn! Together!
André: No way. [shows it to him too] ...That's Beck and Alyssa Vaughn! Together!
Beck: Why are u guys so impressed?
Tori: Because Alyssa Vaughn is famous!
André: And HOT!
Tori: Her father's a billionare.
André: And HOT! ...I didn't mean her father is... I drank vis pee.

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Jade: Hey, we're not done talking about this.
Beck: I am.
Jade: Well I'm not.
Beck: Listen, Alyssa Vaughn, is just a friend.
Jade: Yeah, a friend who's already sent u six text messages today. [Beck's phone beeps] Seven.

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Tori: Is that Alyssa Vaughn?!
Jade: Yeah, so?
Tori: Nothing! Pfft, she's gross! [holds up a french fry] French fry?
André: Gross? Look at her! Oh, that girl is smoking hot, I'm serious! ...I should shut up.

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Tori: ...So, if I help you, I get a mean friend and a broken kite?
Jade: Please, just please talk to Beck for me! [cries and places her head on Tori's pillow]
Tori: [long pause, and pats Jade on the hair] Okay! Okay, okay, I'll talk to Beck!
Jade: Do it soon... [lifts her head off the pillow, which has black ink on it] I got a little makeup on your pillow.
Tori: It's okay. I'll just ask my grandmother to make me another one...if she ever comes back to life.

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Tori [her status on TheSlap]: On a mission...but how did I get to be the LOVE DOCTOR?!?

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Tori: Beck zei u haven't done one nice thing for him in two years.
Jade: [crying] That is so not true! We've only dated a jaar and eleven months!
Tori: Well, maybe he'd take u back if u did something nice for him.
Jade: u mean, like, make him fresh lemonade?
Tori: If u want Beck back, you're gonna have to think bigger than beverages.

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Tori: (while Jade and Beck are kissing) Awwwwww. [puts her hands on her heart. They turn and look at her] ...I ruined the moment.