Wind: Okay, Professor, I think I’ll take a Charmande-
Gary: I WANT A SQUIRTLE
Wind: Okay, nevermind. I’ll take a Baulbasua-
Gary: I WANT THE CHARMANDER
Wind: Screw it, give me a Squirtl-
Gary: I WANT THE BULBASAUR!
Wind: Okay, u know what, screw it. I’ll just buy a Pokeball and find some random Pokemon in the gras of something (Leaves)
Little Girl: Hey, u looked at me funny
Wind: Well, duh. You’re a spoiled brat who thinks she owns the whole dirt road. I’m obviously not gonna look at u like you’re a human being with rights
Little Girl: I challenge u to a battle
Wind: Um… Okay (Enters a battle)
Little Girl: (Releases a Caterpie) This is my Caterpie. We’ve been vrienden since he was little. And with him, I will defeat yo-
Wind: That’s great. I chose u Cubone (Releases a Cubone) This is my Cubone. He wears the skull of his dead mother. It’s cute, really.
Little Girl: Caterpie, use Snore
Caterpie: (Uses snore)
Cubone: (Not effective)
Wind: Okay, Cubone. Now bludgeon the thing to death
Little Girl: Wait, that’s not a move
Cubone: (Beats Caterpie with the bone)
Wind: (Watches)
Little Girl: (Watches in horror)
Cubone: (Walks back to Wind with a bone covered in blood)
Wind: Well, it looks like I win. And, if Pokemon logic is correct, the winner is rewarded with cash rewards and compliments. I’ll take those rewards now
Little Girl: (Crying, as she hands Wind money) u are….. a great trainer (Cries loudly)
Wind: I sure am
Team Rocket Leader: So what you’re saying, is that some boy, who is pretty much a sociopath, managed to beat our entire criminal organization with a goddamn Cubone?!
Team Rocket Member: …. Did we mention it knew bludgeon
Team Rocket Leader: (Sighs) All our hard work and we were defeated door a kid…. men, get the cyanide pills. Our lives our ruined.
Gary: Hey, Wind
Wind: Hello, douchebag
Gary: Looks like I became the Pokemon champion before you. How does it feel to know that I am a better trainer than you
Wind: Oh, it’s fine. Hey, how about we have a Pokemon battle. Just for fun
Gary: u must be stupid. But alright (Enters battle)
Gary: I choose you, Alakazam (Sends out Alakazam)
Wind: Aww, how cute. u think you’re better than me. (Sends out Heatran)
Gary: HEY, NO FAIR! THAT’S NOT A GEN ONE TYPE
Wind: Maybe not, but here’s the thing. Ever hear the moral, “Cheaters never prosper”. Well, I decided to fix that moral so it makes a bit meer sense. Cheaters never prosper, unless their name is Wind. Okay, Heatran. Use “F**king Obliterate”.
Heatran: (Ends up killing Alakazam)
Gary: …….. Um….. I’m just gonna-
Wind: Heatran, leave no survivors (Heatran burns down the building, killing everyone inside as Wind leaves) And that is how I became a Pokemon master
Wind’s Mother: … I knew I shouldn’t have let u leave on your Digimon adventure
Wind: Pokemon mom. Get it right
Gary: I WANT A SQUIRTLE
Wind: Okay, nevermind. I’ll take a Baulbasua-
Gary: I WANT THE CHARMANDER
Wind: Screw it, give me a Squirtl-
Gary: I WANT THE BULBASAUR!
Wind: Okay, u know what, screw it. I’ll just buy a Pokeball and find some random Pokemon in the gras of something (Leaves)
Little Girl: Hey, u looked at me funny
Wind: Well, duh. You’re a spoiled brat who thinks she owns the whole dirt road. I’m obviously not gonna look at u like you’re a human being with rights
Little Girl: I challenge u to a battle
Wind: Um… Okay (Enters a battle)
Little Girl: (Releases a Caterpie) This is my Caterpie. We’ve been vrienden since he was little. And with him, I will defeat yo-
Wind: That’s great. I chose u Cubone (Releases a Cubone) This is my Cubone. He wears the skull of his dead mother. It’s cute, really.
Little Girl: Caterpie, use Snore
Caterpie: (Uses snore)
Cubone: (Not effective)
Wind: Okay, Cubone. Now bludgeon the thing to death
Little Girl: Wait, that’s not a move
Cubone: (Beats Caterpie with the bone)
Wind: (Watches)
Little Girl: (Watches in horror)
Cubone: (Walks back to Wind with a bone covered in blood)
Wind: Well, it looks like I win. And, if Pokemon logic is correct, the winner is rewarded with cash rewards and compliments. I’ll take those rewards now
Little Girl: (Crying, as she hands Wind money) u are….. a great trainer (Cries loudly)
Wind: I sure am
Team Rocket Leader: So what you’re saying, is that some boy, who is pretty much a sociopath, managed to beat our entire criminal organization with a goddamn Cubone?!
Team Rocket Member: …. Did we mention it knew bludgeon
Team Rocket Leader: (Sighs) All our hard work and we were defeated door a kid…. men, get the cyanide pills. Our lives our ruined.
Gary: Hey, Wind
Wind: Hello, douchebag
Gary: Looks like I became the Pokemon champion before you. How does it feel to know that I am a better trainer than you
Wind: Oh, it’s fine. Hey, how about we have a Pokemon battle. Just for fun
Gary: u must be stupid. But alright (Enters battle)
Gary: I choose you, Alakazam (Sends out Alakazam)
Wind: Aww, how cute. u think you’re better than me. (Sends out Heatran)
Gary: HEY, NO FAIR! THAT’S NOT A GEN ONE TYPE
Wind: Maybe not, but here’s the thing. Ever hear the moral, “Cheaters never prosper”. Well, I decided to fix that moral so it makes a bit meer sense. Cheaters never prosper, unless their name is Wind. Okay, Heatran. Use “F**king Obliterate”.
Heatran: (Ends up killing Alakazam)
Gary: …….. Um….. I’m just gonna-
Wind: Heatran, leave no survivors (Heatran burns down the building, killing everyone inside as Wind leaves) And that is how I became a Pokemon master
Wind’s Mother: … I knew I shouldn’t have let u leave on your Digimon adventure
Wind: Pokemon mom. Get it right
Come little children
Come with me.
I’ll take u to a land
Of fantasy
Please little children
Don’t u cry
Hypno wouldn’t even
Hurt a fly
Please little children
Don’t u squirm
These ropes, I know
Will hold u firm
I know I said
This isn’t true.
But sadly,
Hypno lied to you
Now, little children
u weren’t clever
Now you’re trapped with me
Forever…
And then the police broke in, beat me up, and arrested me on several accounts of attempted pedophilia. I guess I should have tied them up in a cave instead of a big white busje, van with candy in the back
Come with me.
I’ll take u to a land
Of fantasy
Please little children
Don’t u cry
Hypno wouldn’t even
Hurt a fly
Please little children
Don’t u squirm
These ropes, I know
Will hold u firm
I know I said
This isn’t true.
But sadly,
Hypno lied to you
Now, little children
u weren’t clever
Now you’re trapped with me
Forever…
And then the police broke in, beat me up, and arrested me on several accounts of attempted pedophilia. I guess I should have tied them up in a cave instead of a big white busje, van with candy in the back
???: what is the status?
Guy: I got a extra life!
???: ... anything on the war?
Dex: we're back! with only fatal wounds!
???: Henry! what did they say?
Henry: they would support us
???: oh thank god! we must prepare for are attack then...
Dex: u know, this is slightly less of a hellhole than Germany...
Henry: not true... London and a few cities around it are the only places that are not burned to the ground of in chaos
Dex: well fuc*
Henry: until he surrenders the world is another hell
???: then we will stomp Dominic into a bloody pulp til he does surrenders!
Henry: God save the queen!
Dex: God save the world...
Guy: I got a extra life!
???: ... anything on the war?
Dex: we're back! with only fatal wounds!
???: Henry! what did they say?
Henry: they would support us
???: oh thank god! we must prepare for are attack then...
Dex: u know, this is slightly less of a hellhole than Germany...
Henry: not true... London and a few cities around it are the only places that are not burned to the ground of in chaos
Dex: well fuc*
Henry: until he surrenders the world is another hell
???: then we will stomp Dominic into a bloody pulp til he does surrenders!
Henry: God save the queen!
Dex: God save the world...